|Hi! At the time of writing this I actually have a busted collarbone, shoulder blade, fractured vertabrae and short breath due to a previously punctured lung, all due to a bloody accident on my motorbike! All these years climbing and no accidents except for maybe a couple of flappers, pulled muscles and a fright or two after pulling off loose holds, and i jump on a bloody bike and crash on a straight stretch of road doing the speed limit! (the bikes for sale by the way!) Makes me re-evaluate the usefullness of fear in the modern world, where we are faced by so many potentially lethal day to day activities where we feel no danger, but freak out a couple of metres above a bombproof piece of gear when facing a safe fall into space. For way too long I've been held back by the fear of unknown sensations and new situations, whilst holding down jobs that i can't stand, earning far more money than what i need, and bailing out of comitting moves because I'm scared of the big "WHAT IF"!!
I was EXTREMELY lucky to not be killed in my accident, and I have woken up to the fact that life can be stolen away from any of us at any moment and if you're not being true to yourself and really listening to your heart, you're wasting your time and probably everyone elses. The truth is, if you're not doing what you love, you're probably not putting in 100% into your job, passtime, friends or family anyway. You're growing older regretting all the times you chose to play it safe rather than live, and all the while you're envious of those who seem to make it by, un planned, unrehearsed, just getting by on perceived luck alone. As far as I'm concerned, I've had enough of security. Damn the fulltime 9-5 job, screw the notion of planning every little detail in life down to the last step. From here on in, i'm putting myself out there. I'm not just listening for opportunities, I'm creating them. I now understand why guide books don't explain every single detail, move and required beta. This would kill the adventure of climbing, which in turn would kill the spirit of the climber. I have come to appreciate and listen to the quiet little nagging voice which is ever so present in the back of my mind. The little voice in my heart which I always try to smother and dismiss in the name of "sensibility" and "reality". I feel as if the clouds have parted revealing a bluebird cool sunny day, and that little voice rings out loud and clear in my head as if it were the only truth in life that matters. The true definition of my soul and the reason I breathe, "I am a climber!!"