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7-Jan-2011 1:52:49 PM
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If Ikea made instructions for everything
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7-Jan-2011 2:46:11 PM
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Bloke walks into the pub and says to barmaid "can I smell your c--t?"
She roundhouse slaps him.
Bloke replies "sorry it must be your feet".
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7-Jan-2011 3:12:20 PM
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On 7/01/2011 ajfclark wrote:
>If Ikea made instructions
>for everything
Facebook thief! <-- or not, so says the time. Stumbleupon is awesome
http://www.ranker.com/list/god-is-an-epic-troll-the-best-of-the-advice-god-meme/robert-wabash
http://classic-icon.com/Dumb-Duck.html
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10-Jan-2011 5:02:39 PM
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http://www.smh.com.au/travel/travel-news/the-wombats-that-ate-wilsons-prom-20110109-19jv6.html The incident was one of many wombat stories aired in the park yesterday. One camper told The Age he thought some teenagers were stealing his beer supply in the middle of the night recently, but when he investigated found a wombat trying to get into his Esky. Sounds like a certain chockstone wombat...
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14-Jan-2011 12:45:23 PM
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Keep this in mind the next time you are about to repeat a rumour or spread gossip.
In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom
One day an acquaintance ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about Diogenes?"
"Wait a moment," Socrates replied, "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."
'Triple filter?" asked the acquaintance.
"That's right," Socrates continued, "Before you talk to me about Diogenes let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"
"No," the man said, "Actually I just heard about it."
"All right," said Socrates, "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about Diogenes something good?"
"No, on the contrary..."
"So," Socrates continued, "You want to tell me something about Diogenes that may be bad, even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed. Socrates continued, "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter, the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about Diogenes going to be useful to me?"
"No, not really."
"Well," concluded Socrates, "If what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me or anyone at all?"
The man was bewildered and ashamed. This is an example of why Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.
It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging his wife.
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14-Jan-2011 2:20:01 PM
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Courtesy of Redanon
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/8264122/
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14-Jan-2011 2:30:19 PM
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DVD box sets. Gold.
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14-Jan-2011 2:44:03 PM
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On 14/01/2011 TeeRex wrote:
>
>It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging
>his wife.
I think Socrates and Diogenes were generations apart. It's more likely that Xanthippe (Socrate's wife) was seeing Plato for a bit on the side.
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14-Jan-2011 2:47:43 PM
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man someone has way too much time on there hands, and thats coming from someone on chockstone. By the way, I thought it was great.
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14-Jan-2011 2:56:58 PM
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On 14/01/2011 kuu wrote:
>On 14/01/2011 TeeRex wrote:
>>
>>It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging
>>his wife.
>
>I think Socrates and Diogenes were generations apart. It's more likely
>that Xanthippe (Socrate's wife) was seeing Plato for a bit on the side.
>
>
And..."Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle and a bugger for the bottle was he"
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14-Jan-2011 2:57:32 PM
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On 14/01/2011 kuu wrote:
>On 14/01/2011 TeeRex wrote:
>>
>>It also explains why Socrates never found out that Diogenes was shagging
>>his wife.
>
>I think Socrates and Diogenes were generations apart. It's more likely
>that Xanthippe (Socrate's wife) was seeing Plato for a bit on the side.
>
>
so thats what a side plate is.
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14-Jan-2011 3:00:39 PM
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On 14/01/2011 widewetandslippery wrote:
>man someone has way too much time on there hands, and thats coming from
>someone on chockstone. By the way, I thought it was great.
Yeh, it's a great teaching example that is regularly circulated on the internet.
And, um, I'm retired Dave/Dude. You're not slacking off at work are you? ;-)
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14-Jan-2011 3:08:37 PM
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Kev, you did that? Bloody funny. Humour with no rings or carrots.
Actually I'm not slacking off right now, started early and stuck in office waiting for a phone call.
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14-Jan-2011 4:11:52 PM
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Are you sure she wasn't see Pythagoras for a bit on the hypotenuse? Gotta watch those Greeks...
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21-Jan-2011 11:38:20 AM
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What is a 4 letter word for where women have the darkest and curliest hair?
Fiji.
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21-Jan-2011 11:39:50 AM
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That's the cleanest joke you have ever told.
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21-Jan-2011 11:45:36 AM
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I heard it from a publican who has a very pretty blonde barmaid. She said she didn't get it. One of the regulars asked if she shaved! She looked at him a bit funny and wandered away.
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21-Jan-2011 12:53:54 PM
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Sent to me by a Kiwi colleague earlier this week:
Billy was at school this morning and the teacher asked all the
children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical
answers came out, fireman, policeman, salesman, chippy, captain of
industry etc, but Billy was being uncharacteristically quiet
and so the teacher asked him about his father.
"My father is an exotic dancer in a gay club and takes off all his
clothes in front of other men. Sometimes if the offer is really
good, he'll go out with a man, rent a cheap hotel room and let them
sleep with him."
The teacher quickly set the other children some work and took
little Billy aside to ask him if that was really true.
"No" said Billy, "He plays cricket for Australia but I was just too
embarrassed to say."
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21-Jan-2011 1:11:52 PM
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Tiny bit high-brow, but funny none the less
http://ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere.com/the-twat-o-tron/
It's a comments generator for the Have Your Say section of the BBC website. There's some fancy algorithm in the background that plugs common phrases together. Hilarious and indistinguishable from the real thing
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21-Jan-2011 1:21:32 PM
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I was sitting on the train this morning opposite a really sexy Thai girl. I thought to myself "Please don't get an erection, please don't get an erection"
But she did :(
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