To the guy in my closet, you don't have AIDS - m4w - 30 (Lakewood)

Date: 2009-08-31, 7:18AM EDT

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First off I want to relieve your fears that you probably don't or at least I hope you don't 

have AIDS.



When I came home 3 days ago I heard what was obviously mediocre sex going on in my 

bedroom. Since I quickly made the deduction that someone had probably not broken 

into my apartment for some quick copulation I figured I had just caught my wife cheating 

on me which I had long suspected. Your ofish grunts were so loud that I actually had to 

reopen the door and slam it again for you two to hear me. I stood in the entry for a while 

as I heard you both scramble before calling out that I was home.



When I walked into the bedroom my wife had some excuse about having a headache 

and when asked about the nighty she was wearing she said it was the most comfortable 

thing she could find. Oh...and btw, I don't know how many affairs that you participate in 

but a word of advice is that when you hide in the closest from an angry husbands you 

shouldn't leave a few toes hanging out from under the door. At this point I am in a bit of a 

predicament.... I could have the typical masculine response and open the door and beat 

the piss out of you but then you might file charges and quite frankly I just don't really 

care enough. Not to mention I don't know how big you are and I couldn't think of anything 

much worse than finding your wife cheating on you and then get pummeled by her new 

lover. It entered my mind to have some marathon sex and make you stand and watch 

the whole thing but seeing how she is a dirty whore the idea grossed me out a little. I 

came pretty close to just hanging out and masterbating but I am glad I went the 

direction I did.



So in liue of those options I thought of the funniest thing I could do for my own personal 

amusement. I sat her down on the bed and looked deeply in her eyes and told her that I 

had been diagnosed with early stages of AIDS. Recently I have had a series of colds 

and went to the doctor who told me it was probably just a string of bad luck and it was 

going around a little bit. The whole thing took about 2 hours and involved a lot of yelling, 

accusing and crying.



I felt like I hadn't punished you quite enough, even though I fully acknowledge that it 

really isn't your fault at all, so I told her that the illness was making me tired so I needed 

to lay down. I could hear her on the phone making an appointment with the doctor and I 

could hear you rustling around in the closest. You did a great job holding still seeing 

how you probably aren't used to standing in a 3'x4' closest for hours and hours on end 

but if I hadn't already known you were there you would have been caught for sure.



After about another hour of laying in bed thinking of what I was going to do I felt sorry for 

you to be mixed up in this crazy thing so I said I was going to go fill the prescriptions 

the doctor gave me and left the apartment so you could leave. I hope that you weren't 

too uncomfortable in there and actually felt a little guilty about it later.



Anyways, I put this in missed connections because I actually wouldn't mind taking you 

out and buying you a drink. After all that is some funny stuff to laugh about and you are 

saving me thousands in alimony since my wife cheated and the least I can do is repay 

you for a $4.00 beer.



Again no hard feelings and best of luck!



BTW, you might still want to get your self tested since my wife is a dirty whore.



* Location: Lakewood