Damm you Andrew! Everytime you put one of these blog links up, my 1 minute visit to check out the funny turns into a more than slightly extended visit. Bookmark it at the end and add it to the list of Andrew recommended sites to distract me from work!
Righto, all apologies for the last one. Try this one.
Why climbing is better than sex. A manís perspective, by John Byrnes
When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection!
You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans for you, provided you donít put it in too deep.
There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
You can get belayed without first bekissing.
A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
Having a belay slave is not a criminal offence.
The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
Friction is a positive quality when youíre climbing.
The rocks donít care if you show up late.
The rocks donít complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
When youíre climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
Your belayer never hesitates when you yell ďTAKE!Ē
When youíre climbing, weird body positions are considered ďcoolĒ.
The rocks donít scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
Your climbing partner doesnít complain when you donít want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
A three-finger pocket isnít too big.
You donít have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.
Hello Chockerstone lovelies.
Taking the dog for a walk and having control over the situation is an interesting theme Mr ajfclark, and Mr Wollemi. It reminds me of an incident that Derek my M10 love, told me about recently.
A curly haired boulderer stopped by the local mechanic shop to have his car fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the local store and bought a bucket and 10 litres of paint. He also stopped by the feed section and picked up a couple of chooks and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem - how to carry his entire purchase home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by an unlucky lady who told him she was lost. She asked, "Can you tell me how to get to Jory St ?"
The curly haired boulderer said, "Well, as a matter of fact, my house is very close to that location I would walk you there but I can't carry this lot."
Since he was a boulderer, the unlucky lady suggested, "Why don't you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chook under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand?"
"Why thank you very much," he said, and proceeded to walk the lady home.
On the way he says "Let's take my short cut and go down this alley. We'll be there in no time."
The lady looked him over cautiously then said, "I am a lonely lady without a husband to defend me, how do I know that when we get in the alley you won't hold me up against the fence, and have your way with me?"
The curly haired boulderer said, "Jeez lady! I'm carrying a bucket, 10 litres of paint, two chooks, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the fence and do that?"
The lady replied, "Well, just set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I'll hold the chickens."
So the boulderer in his excitement hastily put the goose down, but it immediately trotted off, and as he chased after it the chooks flapped free, and the paint fell out of the bucket, leaving him with a great deal of frustration, especially as the lady had thought better of the moment due to all the commotion, and would not respond to his calling after her (using a word that suspiciously sounded like the one in that video clip), as she left.
The moral of the story according to Derek, is that a goose in the hand is worth two chooks in the bush any day, but he tells me that he doesnít think that the boulderer has worked that out yet, as much to Dereksí amusement he keeps trying to mount that problem!