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biner breaks on Forever Young 22-Dec-2011 At 8:15:05 AM rolsen1

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On 19/12/2011 Wendy wrote:
>On 19/12/2011 rolsen1 wrote:
>
>>
>>I guess you're not a parent then, or umpire a sport. If you don't stamp
>>on inappropriate behaviours then people will push them further and others
>>will then retaliate. The yellow card/red card system has been shown
>to
>>work in sports no reason it can't work here, and as dalia has said has
>>worked on here before.
>>
>>If you want to play then you need to play by the rules.
>
>Whilst I might not be a parent or umpire sport, I have an extensive history
>of work with traumatised children and supporting parents and foster parents.
> It is this history which feeds my belief that these sorts of disciplinary
>measures are in general ineffective. Chockstone is a community. Yes we
>have some guidelines to encourage behaviour we prefer in the community,
>but we also as members of the community have a responsibility to respond
>to things we find out of order in various ways and this community response
>is what maintains behaviour, not top down disciplinary measures. It's
>like saying don't to a child. Or a contrary adult. You instantly want
>to do exactly that. In the case of Doug Bruce, I am guessing he hadn't
>thought about how what he is saying might come across and thus a warning
>was helpful to him.. This sort of warning/explanation/confrontation can
>come from anyone, it doesn't need to come from moderators, and in my view
>is more powerful when from community members. You also need to have some
>attachment to what you are losing for the threat of losing it to be effective.
> If you don't care, or figure you'll just create a new account and won't
>be losing anything, well, it's all a useless threat anyway. Someone like
>Damo knows exactly what they are doing, are doing it for a reason, continue
>to do so regardless of all top down threats and I'll place my bet that
>he'll be back sledging generously next week as if this week never happened.
>
>
>All of this rabbitting has way more to do with my beliefs on discipline,
>learning, getting on in the world and community participation than this
>whole incident with Damo. Maybe I'm overly optimistic of the maturity of
>people in the world, but I think most things are best managed by the people
>involved and any moderation should be minimal -support/guidance/reminders.
>I personally have a lot of time for Damo even if he does have a disturbing
>habit of throwing gay slurs around willynilly, but I do think it's laughable
>if anyone's deluding themselves that he'll be back nice as pie next week.
>
>It's very simple really. If you don't like something someone does, tell
>them so. If you do it constructively, it'll de-escalate (incidently, "don't
>do that, it's against the rules" is not very constructive in these circumstances.
> as if anyone didn't already know it was against the rules). If the best
>way of de-escalating it is to ignore it, try that. If you want a shitfight,
>barge in antagonistically and start an all out brawl for our amusement.
> Try and be witty about it though please.

Wendy, the problem is that you argue just as passionately about things you know nothing about as things you do. This waters down everything you say, which is unfortunate as on the whole your posts are worth reading.

I can't be bothered answering your post, as there is little point.