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Climbing on TV - assistance with the script! |
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21-Feb-2008 1:19:32 PM
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Those who got an extra laugh out of the climbing scenes in Cliffhanger and Vertical Limit might have enjoyed the opening scene for last night’s episode of House. A 10yo girl was being belayed by her mother in an indoor climbing gym and had come off the wall quite high up. Things started looking worrying when her mother began having medical problems and her hands became paralysed, leaving her daughter without a belayer.
The little girl’s luck turned bad when it became obvious that the gym neither used a Grigri (a la Cliffhanger) or a ratcheted wrap-around pulley (a la Hardrock). So far, it’s all plausible.
However her luck turned even worse when, half way through her plunge to the ground the close up of the belay device showed the end of the rope disappearing through it! Which of course raises a few practical questions, as well as the question of whether the input of the climbing gym was not sought by the TV producers, or simply ignored in favour of more dramatic footage.
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21-Feb-2008 1:29:06 PM
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So it would be impossible for the rope to run out of the belay device when she way halfway down beacuse that would mean she had to have climbed halfway up unbelayed, then the rope was threaded through the belay device and she continued? It is an American TV series so wouldnt expect much more that from them i guess
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21-Feb-2008 3:05:48 PM
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On 21/02/2008 CraigS wrote:
>or simply ignored in favour of more dramatic footage.
I'm banking on that. The episode of neighbours shot at Nunawading included some similar stupidity...
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21-Feb-2008 3:18:46 PM
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I'm so glad I wasn't the only person to find this irritating...
I turned to my fiancee and said "That's a bit lame, there's no..."
"Don't care. TV Show" was the immediate response.
So unsympathetic.
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21-Feb-2008 3:21:12 PM
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Forget House (even though its a great show). I saw a bit of one of those entertainment tonight type shows a few days ago. Apparently Stallone is so impressed with the success he is having reviving old characters (i.e. Rambo, Rocky), that Cliffhanger 2 is now on the agenda! Yeah! Here is a link:
http://www.slashfilm.com/2008/02/16/sylvester-stallone-to-star-in-cliffhanger-2-the-dam/
Not happy about this 'dam' concept though. I dont want Stallone just rapping down some 'dam' wall, I want big overhangs and bolt guns and hopefully some nitro-glycerine. Or maybe a storyline where he abandons the bolt gun and becomes a fanatical anti-bolter, he could do some cgi split screen thing where his Cliffhanger character teams up with Rambo on a backcountry sportclimber hunting rampage of destruction.
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21-Feb-2008 3:35:00 PM
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On 21/02/2008 j_d wrote:
>I'm so glad I wasn't the only person to find this irritating...
>
>I turned to my fiancee and said "That's a bit lame, there's no..."
>
>"Don't care. TV Show" was the immediate response.
>
>So unsympathetic.
Classic! I feel for you mate. i've had that same response thrown at me before... grr at unsympathetic
non-climbers.
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21-Feb-2008 3:52:20 PM
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On 21/02/2008 oweng wrote:
>Not happy about this 'dam' concept though. I dont want Stallone just rapping
>down some 'dam' wall, I want big overhangs and bolt guns and hopefully
>some nitro-glycerine. Or maybe a storyline where he abandons the bolt gun
>and becomes a fanatical anti-bolter, he could do some cgi split screen
>thing where his Cliffhanger character teams up with Rambo on a backcountry
>sportclimber hunting rampage of destruction.
I’ve been hired as the script writer for this new film, and am looking for assistance with the script. So
here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to add to it.
The film starts with some stick insect, who’s sponsored by a celery stick distributor, dogging the bejesus
…I mean…sport climbing the now completely retrobolted line. Only to find that ‘ol Sly was a cheapie and
loaded his gun with mild steel bolts, so they are now all rusty pieces of rubbish. The stick insect slumps
….I mean….plummets off, but the bolts fail to hold even his spindly weight, and he goes the full distance,
dropping a massive 4m to the ground. Where upon he sustains a horrid smear of dirt on his T-shirt, thus
spoiling the contrast of colour against the rock, much to the disgust of the photographer, who storms off in
a huff.
Sticky then swears revenge on Sly for being such a cheapskate, and plots evil revenge.
Cut to the Natimuk Lawn Bowls Club, where Sly is pushing out a set of dips on his Zimmer Frame.
Roughly tied head band blowing in the gentle breeze.
It comes to be his turn to bowl, so he get off the Zimmer Frame and walks over towards the green,
pausing just before he steps up from the cement path onto the curtilage of the green, he turns to his
companions. A close up of his sweat streaked face, teeth clenched in dogmatic determination, “Watch
me”, he says.
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21-Feb-2008 5:01:47 PM
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On 21/02/2008 Eduardo Slabofvic wrote:
>I’ve been hired as the script writer for this new film, and am looking
>for assistance with the script. So
>here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to add to it.
>
>The film starts with some stick insect, who’s sponsored by a celery stick
>distributor, dogging the bejesus
>…I mean…sport climbing the now completely retrobolted line. Only to find
>that ‘ol Sly was a cheapie and
>loaded his gun with mild steel bolts, so they are now all rusty pieces
>of rubbish. The stick insect slumps
>….I mean….plummets off, but the bolts fail to hold even his spindly weight,
>and he goes the full distance,
>dropping a massive 4m to the ground. Where upon he sustains a horrid smear
>of dirt on his T-shirt, thus
>spoiling the contrast of colour against the rock, much to the disgust
>of the photographer, who storms off in
>a huff.
>
>Sticky then swears revenge on Sly for being such a cheapskate, and plots
>evil revenge.
>
>Cut to the Natimuk Lawn Bowls Club, where Sly is pushing out a set of
>dips on his Zimmer Frame.
>Roughly tied head band blowing in the gentle breeze.
>
>It comes to be his turn to bowl, so he get off the Zimmer Frame and walks
>over towards the green,
>pausing just before he steps up from the cement path onto the curtilage
>of the green, he turns to his
>companions. A close up of his sweat streaked face, teeth clenched in
>dogmatic determination, “Watch
>me”, he says.
A quartet of bowles already surround the jack, like Simon Mentz groupies at a book signing. But degree of difficulty has never pressured Sly before. It was time for action. "SKIPPER - INCOMMMMMMMMMMING" be bellowed. He launched his bowl and stepped back to watch the inevitable destruction. Suddenly the endorphine rush of impending victory was replaced by cold clammy fear. A flat bed truck covered in dust appeared barreling around the corner heading towards the green, a blond girl 50 years his junior standing in the tray clinging to the roofrack. "Sly, come quick, there is trouble at the Mountain!". He spat contemtuously and reached for his zimmer. Trouble at the mountain again. He'd learned from bitter experience that it could only be one of two things, sports climbers with dogs, or sports climbers without dogs. Either way, he'd have to postpone his retirement........again.
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21-Feb-2008 6:19:45 PM
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His hand slid down absentmindedly to the bulge beneath his cotton/nylon/spandex blended mountain trousers (with zip off to shorts capability). The Bolt Gun....
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21-Feb-2008 9:17:37 PM
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...primed and loaded was placed in the gentle hands of the blonde.....
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22-Feb-2008 1:43:32 PM
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On 21/02/2008 tastybigmac wrote:
>...primed and loaded was placed in the gentle hands of the blonde.....
"Ooooh, it's so hard", she said.
"Well you just hide it in a special place. I wont be needing it any more", Sly replied, as he hefted is rack
of hexes, tetons, rurps, and crackenups onto his shoulder. “Give me ten minutes then call in the air
strike”.
“Ten minutes! You wont even make it past Golden Streak in that time, you geriatric old flatus. What do
you expect to achieve in 10 minutes? Why don’t we just shag instead? I’ve got this thing for old men
ever since Grandad took me into the shed that day when I was 7”. Sly gives her a knowing stare, a
sloppy pash on the lips and stumbles off.
His wheezing can be heard, gradually diminishing after he disappears across the Central gully creek.
Silence descends on the scene, rudely interrupted a moment later by a protracted coughing fit.
“Hack hack kack, wheeze. God damn it, I left my Ventolin back at the bar. I’ll just have to employ my
Special Forces training and substitute stumpy poo instead. Cough cough Cough Haaaakkkkk!
Uuuuuurgh, I don’t remember eating that!”.
Meanwhile, back at Base, two swankily uniformed Helicopter pilots are strutting around their machine like
a pair of peac--ks. The young one trying his best to show off the cucumber he’s got strapped to the
inside of his left thigh, whilst the older one tries to pass off his swagger as middle aged machismo, rather
than an attempt to relieve the pain from his haemorrhoids.
“About a mile out we’ll put the music on”, says Rroidy………………
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22-Feb-2008 3:59:32 PM
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absolute genius
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22-Feb-2008 7:42:26 PM
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hahahahahahahaha
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22-Feb-2008 8:22:22 PM
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Up and up leads the access gully. Each step feels exquisite as the old guns swell and bulge again with life and love for all that's truely extreme. One final turn and the revery is shattered - a repulsive heaving pile of skinny sport climbers, freshly washed dogs and imaculate Subaru merchandise...
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22-Feb-2008 9:37:19 PM
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On 21/02/2008 GravityHound wrote:
>So it would be impossible for the rope to run out of the belay device when
>she way halfway down beacuse that would mean she had to have climbed halfway
>up unbelayed, then the rope was threaded through the belay device and she
>continued? It is an American TV series so wouldnt expect much more that
>from them i guess
I thought the exact same thing when i watched it.
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22-Feb-2008 10:39:22 PM
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On 22/02/2008 jay590 wrote:
>On 21/02/2008 GravityHound wrote:
>>So it would be impossible for the rope to run out of the belay device
>when
>>she way halfway down beacuse that would mean she had to have climbed
>halfway
>>up unbelayed, then the rope was threaded through the belay device and
>she
>>continued? It is an American TV series so wouldnt expect much more that
>>from them i guess
>
>I thought the exact same thing when i watched it.
What ya mean back to the thread? It Was just getting interesting and you start talking TV. So hows sly and his 'guns' going? Did he save the stick insect? Or is all lost... until Rocky appears at the base of the cliff and starts punching out paramedics and onlookers.
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25-Feb-2008 10:02:10 AM
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Nice story Eduardo,
Are you hoping to get this wrapped up in time for goatfest or are you going to hold out for a premier at
Cannes in may?
Is there any way of changing this thread topic to bring it into line with the current digression?
[Mod. edit:
>Is there any way of changing this thread topic to bring it into line with the current digression?
Done!]
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25-Feb-2008 11:10:54 AM
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I vote continue:
........ADRIAN!!? No it couldn't be her. After all this was the wrong film. Another genre. But it WAS her climbing out of the back of the 2008 limited edition multi extreme sports pack Forester. And she was with....
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11-Nov-2015 10:04:33 AM
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bump...
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11-Nov-2015 10:52:38 AM
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Holy thread resurrection batman/M9...
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