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How to increase your grades - da Spanish way

Ali Baba

14-Jul-2006
4:00:14 PM

Is da Spanish overgradin’? (or ‘Tips On How To Increase Your Climbing Level – Da Spanish Way) ...By Ali Baba

Our man on da case delve's into his tortured mind to come up with da following facts on da Spanish climber's way of life...

Spain, home to more 9a (35) or 9a+ (36) routes than any other c--try, including what's being touted as da ‘ardest route in da world - period. Home to da immense expanses of rock - and wid it a fair amount hoff excellent, fit chikky babes (and gangsta’s). Amongst dem, Iker Pou (turd ascent of Aktion Direkt 9a/35); Josune Bereziartu (first chikky ascent of 8c, 8c+ and 9a); Dani Andrada (more F8's and F9's than any other person da world over to his credit – and me aint talkin’ inches eitha); Ramon Julian (first ascentionist of Spain's La Rambla Extension 9a+ - which is a pretty crap name really when you trans-late it – ‘cause it means ‘Da Path Extension’ – or somfing like dat, and of course: Bernabe Fernandez (dat recluse dat has given Spain its first 8c; 9a; 9a+ and now 9b+ (again – me not talkin’ inches here) and many others. But dese relatively few selected gangsta’s aside - can Spain really be so far ahead in terms of numba’s? Let's take a look at what's been happenin’ down Euro-side...

First ascents

Hari Kiri (8c/33) - da first route of its grade in Spain, put up by Bernabe Fernandez in 1992. Later it was to receive an ascent by English cake-eater John Dunne, who linked da open project of an 8a+ (30) extension onto da finish of da route - making da entire monster 8c+ (34). Da ascent wasn't credited in da Spanish press, and da entire line as Dunne climbed it hasn't had a repeat.

Onda Vital (8c+/34) (Arapiles 32, Nowra 30, Blue Mts 31, Thailand 35) - da 1st 8c+ in Spain put up by 18 year old Dani Andrada - who later thought it and Mojave (now called Spain’s 1st 34 by Fernandez) to be easier than Bronx (34) in France - which was downgraded by British gangsta Ben Moon to 8c (33) upon making da second ascent. Nowadays, Onda Vital is given 8c (33) (but it’s still only probably Arapiles 31, Nowra 29, Blue Mts 30, Thailand 34)...

Mojave (8c+/34) – dat pizza chef Bernabe Fernandez again. No comments on da grade by repeat ascentionists (2 so far) - but both repeats were done 2nd shot and 5th shot in between doughnuts - da latter by a 16 year old who hadn’t even learnt to do a driveby yet...

L'Odi Social (8c+/34) – re-climbed in 5 shots (first ascent) by dat Swiss chef Elie Cheveaux after da original 8c/33 version lost a hold at da crux and was thought ‘unclimbable’. Completed by Cheveaux way before it was fashionable to even do a 33 dat fast – even if she wos a blonde...

Orujo (part 1) (9a/35) - again - da first route breaking da grade in da country by - dare me say it - Mr Fernandez yet again. Da climb featured 4 bolt on holds at da crux. 4 of Spains top climbers were interviewed by da Spanish magazine Desnivel (methink it’s a Home & Garden mag), all of whom express doubt on da grade. See part 2.

A Muerte (9a/35) (meanin’ ‘To Da Deaf’’) - put up by British gangsta Richard Simpson originally at 8c+/9a, then upgraded (by him reluctantly) to 9a/35 - despite it having been tried by all of Spain's top porn stars without success (all of whom have done '9a or above' in da past) - in Spain.

Orujo (part 2) (9a+/36) - 3 of da bolt-on's get removed to create yet another top grade - again courtesy of dat pizza chef. Da route to this day remains unrepeated – but maybe dats because all da holds are well greasy from all dat mozzarella...

La Novena Enmienda (9a+/36) - put up by Dani Andrada –a Spanish gangsta who amazingly did another 9 routes of 35 or harder IN DA SAME YEAR - this despite having tried La Rambla Extension (The Path) (9a+/36) over 300 times with no success. To be fair though – maybe he jus’ needed some ov dat Viagra stuff to ‘elp him along – innit?

Chilam Bilam (9b+/38) (Arapiles 36, Nowra 34, Blue Mts 35, Thailand 39) - da first route in da world given this numba by first ascentionist (no guesses this time – ‘cept for he makes pizza’s!) - despite da fact dat he'd never climbed any one else's route harder than 34 (and dat was a Spanish chiccky babe as well!) Da line is at an obscure cliff in his backyard and involves 82 metres of el-primo hard rock. Draws are in-situ - with some of dem being over a metre or two in length to reduce rope drag. When asked 'why doesn't he travel and compare his routes to others' he dismisses da question and states dat when he travels - he wants to have fun instead. An’ who could blame him wid’ a root like that? Nevertheless, he wos last seen by Dave Graham at Ceuse, struggling to master da V7 start of Biographie…

Onsights

Maldita Maria (8b+/32) (given 8c originally) - da 2nd ever reported onsight of da grade - in Spain. She musta been easy…

Hydrophobia (8b+/32) - onsighted by every man, woman and child (and possibly) small dog, including da first female flash of da grade (age 15), and da first female onsight of da grade. Rumour has it dat its now received da first female dat can read a map book – but dis is rumour only…

L-Mens (8b+/32) - onsighted by a 16 year old (youngest ever onsight of dat grade worldwide), as well as being onsighted by several other climbers (all believed to be younger dan your average Junior Kindergarten pupil…)

Les Elements (8b+) (32) - onsighted on da same DAY as L-Mens - in Spain - by two gangsta's who - afta dey finished - went down da local ice-cream parlour an' bought demselves a Chocolate Sundae (havin' asked dere Mom's first...)

Brujeria (8b+/32) onsighted - in Spain

Golpe de Gas (8b+/32) onsighted - in Spain

El Koala (8c/33) - flashed - in Spain – by a 15 year old Austrain who’s Mom drove him to da crag for da privilege.

White Zombie (8c/33) - da first 8c onsighted - in Spain

Peta Negra (8c/33) - da second 8c onsighted - in Spain

Gaua (8c/33) - da third 8c onsighted - in Spain

SumaO (8c/33) - da fourth 8c onsighted - in Spain

Repeats

Honky Tonk (8c/33) - da first route of its grade climbed by a female - in Spain

Honky Mix (8c+/34) - da first route of its grade climbed by a female - in Spain

La Novena Puerta (8c+/34) – sent 2nd shot – by a someone who hadn’t even finished his homework – now given 8c – in Spain

Pistolaren Mintzoa (8c+/34) - sent second shot - in Spain

Desafiando a Tsunami (8c+/34) - sent third shot - in Spain

QTR (8c+/34) - now thought to be 8c - by a Spanish climber!

Esencia Reptil (8c/33) goes down 2nd go - in Spain

Da Hulk project (graded 9a/35 by da route equipper Andrada) - first ascent by another person who grades it 8c (33) - in Spain

Estado Critico (9a/35) given by Dani Andrada - repeated by Nicolas Favresse in 10 shots, who thought it was 8c+/34 - in Spain

This is also da place where ageing Christian Griffith (68?) – he of Verve fame - came out of retirement (and his sofa) and did his best climbing ever - onsighting numerous 8a/29 and 8a+/30 routes, as well as redpointing 8b+ (32) before breakfast. Nevertheless, a couple of days later he ventured to da old-school crag of Buoux (in France) and proceeded to get shut down by La Rose et le Vampire (8b/31) - taking 5 days and shedding some 10 kilo's to eventually redpoint it.

Thus in conclusion – it seems dat Spain is indeed da country containing da greatest numba of hard routes in da world – howeva! it also contains da greatest numba of overgraded roots in da world as well!

So – wot are yous all waiting for? Book yourself a plane ticket an’ realise yor dreams! – You’ll be climbin’ Spanish 8b (Nowra 27) before you know it…

(…an’ yous thought Thailand wos overgraded!)

DA END!

maxdacat

14-Jul-2006
5:57:16 PM

you might have an interesting point or two but you might want to drop the effin gangsta speak.

Vertigo

14-Jul-2006
6:55:23 PM

Hell yes.....

Paulie

14-Jul-2006
7:29:35 PM

I personally found most of the grades to be about right, with many of the lower grades being very difficult for the grade in popular areas simply due to an excess of polish!

Thailand is deffo overgraded, but that's great for the feel good factor :)

Paul

chalkischeap

14-Jul-2006
9:33:01 PM

On 14/07/2006 Paulie wrote:
>I personally found most of the grades to be about right

Jeez Paulie you must be cranking hard right now. That's one impressive ticklist on Ali Babas post.

Paulie

15-Jul-2006
9:20:12 PM

On 14/07/2006 chalkischeap wrote:
>That's one impressive ticklist on Ali Babas post.

Huh?

Paulie

15-Jul-2006
9:27:12 PM

Ok, I get it, ha ha...

The thing about the Euros is that they all climb way harder than most of us ever will. This goes not only for seasoned climbers and the 12yr old kids, but also the 40yr old lady (who is taking turns with her husband looking after her baby at the base of the crag) who easily strolls the 30mtr 8a in front of her...very different to the Oz scene and something you have to experience to believe.

Most of the people we were climbing with in Europe over this summer onsight between 7b/7c (that's 26-28 to us), with some of them onsighting 8a.

Hands up how many of us here can do that?

Nobody, oh I thought so...

chris

16-Jul-2006
4:53:20 PM

Actually I believe there have been quite a few Australians who have onsighted 8a.... Garth, Lee, Ben, Jake, Nathan, Chris W, Monique and others.
Onsighting 25-27 (7b/7c) is quite common, I've seen numerous onsights at those grades by many different people.

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