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Seriously, this site ... ! 31-Aug-2016 At 8:42:46 PM hero
Another one for you Andy. From one of the early THE's ARE YOU A WoNKER?
by Angel Black.

Yes, it is dated but I couldn't be bothered (craup - I said bothered) to update it.

In the spirit of `Cleo', `Cosmopolitan' and `Climbing' this month `THE' brings you its own pop psychology, self assessment, multiple choice quiz.

Are you a wonker? A question many a climber has to consider. And most have to consider the answer is yes. Work through these twenty questions and at the end, calculate your score. This will tell you if you are a w0nker, and how much of one you are.


1.What is the hardest route in the world?
a: Action Directe
b: Grey Area
c: Your new buumstart classic in the Grampians.
d: Agamemnon

2.What is the best cliff in the world?
a: Buoux
b: Arapiles
c: El Cap
d: Cheesedale

3.How often do you train?
a: Every day, all day.
b: Every second day.
c: When you can.
d: Never.

4.What sort of training do you do most?
a: Nautilus
b: Bouldering/buildering
c: Edge boards
d: Standing in front of the mirror, pursing your lips, trying to look like Garth.

5.How often do you go climbing?
Same choice for answer as question 3.

6. What do you wear?
a: Expensive sponsor climbing pants
b: shorts and a t-shirt.
c: anything.
d: a g-string, 15+ and a smile.

7. Who is your hero?
a: HB
b: Ralph
d: Fred Nicole
e: Nyrie

8. What is the National Hotel's publican's name?
a: Doug
b: Trev
c: Wendy
d: Where is the National Hotel?

9. Which sort of protection do you like and trust most?
a: Friends
b: a crash mat
c: bolts
d: condoms

10. What the hardest climb you've done?
a: 10
b: 20
c: 30
d: V10

10a. I mean lead, red point?
a: 5
b: 15
c: 25
d: V5

11. A women's place in climbing is...?
a: In my tent.
b: Sitting around belaying and cooking.
c: Anywhere they want to be.
d: spotting me

12. Which of the following statements best sums up your attitudes to sport climbing?
a: It said in `Rock' that it was an acceptable practice now.
b: I do it so I can get better and climb harder.
c: I do it because if I get up a 25 with all the gear clipped I can say I climb harder.
d: What's sport climbing?

13. How many days did Andy Pollitt spend on `Punks' and why?
a: More than 10
b: More than 20
c: More than Kim spent on Masada
d: Who is Andy Pollitt?

14. You read the word f>ck in a magazine. You...?
a: Sack the editor.
b: Rant and rave, refuse to buy the magazine anymore, and harangue people about how it's OK to use the word when climbing but it shouldn't be in a climbing magazine where children can read it.
c: Read the article for its content and then make a critical appraisal of it regardless of the medium of expression it chose.
d: wet yourself.

15. You like to boulder because .
a: It's cool man
b: It makes you stronger for climbing
c: You're a wimp
d: Gear confuses you.

16. I like to read THE because...?
a: of the articles.
b: to see who's doing what to whom with what and why in Natimuk.
c: of the witty and erudite articles, the reams of funny cartoons, the superb photographs and the informed editorials.
d: I don't actually like to read THE at all.

17. I drive a ...?
a: 4x4
b: red celica
c: laser
d: lot when I'm drunk.

18. I'm looking forward to watching climbing on TV from the olympics because...?
a: I've always wanted to see myself on TV.
b: I want to catch up on the lastest in climbing fashion.
c: I like watching those rippling bodies move over rock, sorry plastic.
d: I think Bobbi's a spunk

19. How far below your waist should a runner ever get?
a: 1m
b: 5m
c: 10m ( 25 on slabs)
d: What do you mean below your waist?

20. How do you make a bloody Mary?
a: Climb `Angels' and pour Vodka on your arms.
b: Juice some Red points.
c: Forget to put your lycras in colour fast.
d: Move her mat.

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