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Rave About Your Rack Please do not post retail SPAM.

 Page 3 of 5. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 40 | 41 to 60 | 61 to 80 | 81 to 81
Impersonate a Chocky Mini Rocks Comp Extraveganza

1:05:30 PM
This is the best thread we have had here in ages.

You're on fire today, Wendy............. Hilarious.
1:39:58 PM
Thanks guys, this is the best fun I've had avoiding work on the house since i was last able to go climbing!

2:25:16 PM
Great! Even funnier than I thought! It seems Wendy's lust for my mini-rocks (minds out of the gutter guys) has unearthed a hidden cache of comedy talent. Weve seen a lot of the usual suspects covered but I am sure there's room for a couple more big send-offs, so come on, pull out all the stops and lets see if anyone can knock Wendy off top perch....
2:38:57 PM
Sperm Bitches is a classic sport route, a supersafe, wellbolted oversized boulder problem, in an area renowned for its superb dogfests. Yet the other day, I was falling my way up this fine climb, to find a fixed camalot on it! What is this disgrace doing in an otherwise pristine and unspoilt bolted face? I have uploaded a photo to show how it totally ruins the lines on this amazing sweep of rock.

I have always regarded this cliff as a stunning piece of rock, one where the glint of silver pleases the eye wherever one looks, and now I glance over it and am distraught at the touch of blue, so glaringly obvious on a long established, well bolted, classic line. Can the person who placed this monstrosity please explain their actions? Who did they consult before tarnishing this great route with traditional protection? South Central is crag of great repute, just like its namesake, and it is lessened by this unnecessary and thoughtless addition.

Unfortunately, the glory of my hangdog ascent has been ruined by this horror. Can the culprits please remove this atrocity from this sacred place?

2:48:39 PM
On 18/12/2009 Wendy wrote:
>as in this diagram here.

You owe me a new keyboard Wendy.

>M= Σ31βx4Δςturtle

And I should've learnt not to take another sip of water before continuing... Turtle? Gold.
5:48:34 PM
the irony of it is, she doesn't even like mini rocks

(that was hero, by the way)

5:56:25 PM
On 18/12/2009 duglash wrote:
>the irony of it is, she doesn't even like mini rocks
>(that was hero, by the way)

Didn't you learn basic grammar? The start of a sentence is supposed to have a capital letter, and you need to finish it with a full stop (that's "." in case you didn't know). I am becoming very concerned that the quality of education children are getting these days. After all, proper grammar is essential to communicate effectively.

6:32:24 PM
>On 18/12/2009 duglash wrote:
>>(that was hero, by the way)

Duglash is instantly disqaulified for naming his mark. I have written a letter to Wild Country asking that Duglash be lifetime banned from mini rocks ownership (mate, I am actually pretty jealous, I wish they had self-ban arrangements like casinos do).
7:20:35 PM
Nice wires, although i don't tend to use gear that small these days. I much prefer the bolted kind. As the temperature gets into mid to high teens my hands are way too sweaty to handle these things, they just slip out of my hands the moment i remove them from my racking biner. Maybe if they were kept in a chalk bag, you could pull them out and they'd be ready to go. mmmm... chalk....

Nice pic also, where was it shot? I'd go for a wider angle lens though, but it's still a winner.
7:41:23 PM
Come and party with me on Dogface. There will be lots of choss, sand and manky bolts but it will be nothing compared to Shai Halud. I on-sighted Shai Halud on Taipan Wall a few years ago just in case you hadnít heard. I reckon it is E8 even though I have no experience with the UK grading system. But letís not focus on Shai Halud given that we are talking about routes on Dogface in the Blue Mountains, even though Shai Halud was my best ever lead. On Dogface I have tried to incorporate the X/R grading where necessary - Gigantor 26 R. meaning 26 overall on dubious rock/gear or 28+ depending on where you head is at. I'd give Shai Halud an X for 1st pitch R for second, all very different climbing and consequences. Sorry have I started talking about Shai Halud again? I didnít mean to. Have I told you about my ascent of Shai Halud?

8:01:52 PM
Not convincing, Simey. You didn't mention Zac once.

9:58:35 PM
Ok, we have had a number of significant and inspirational entries with some particular standouts from the likes of wombat, eduardo, wendy and evanbb to name but a few. Its worth mentioning that rightarmband's post is probably the single most sensible and eloquent piece of prose I have ever to have had the pleasure to read on chockstone, but I do take great exception to his ridiculous bourgeois 'rules'... I mean, f*ck you man, I wont do what you tell me... but I digress. Back to the matter at hand, I realise there are those among you who require an extra day or two to compose a sufficiently scathing and hilarious impersonation, therefore I am now heading to an obscure part of the grampians to propose to my girlfriend (check stoked/gutted thread on monday for full results and play by play breakdown). In conclusion, let me just say that I hate these mini-rocks, but I'm sure the lucky winner will love them just as much as I have loved your posts. Keep up the good work people!

Chuck Norris
10:49:02 PM
Hey Wendz your ego got in the way of noticing the initials on that cam were JE. Jay Ewecrank was harder than me. He new the meening of adventcha before your papa promised your mamma he was gunna pull out before he cummed. When was the last time you rapped into a chossy seacliff with no guidebook then smashed your neecaps so you couldn't walk then climed out with no gear other than a home made piton. We did millions of routes like that but we never rote anything up unless it was 50 stars cos I have no ego.

Wendy ya photo sux kids like you should clime with a helmut. Idont wanna scrape your pizza brain off tha rock wen I rescue ya. I eat pizza every nite of tha week. I like pizza I don't wanna be put off my dinner cos kidz like you don't were a helmut.

I have no ego but I did a root for you all. If I woz doing it for me I wooda dun it with piano wire tied around my neck and never wrote it up. Instead I bolted it because I have no ego. I also started an internet poll telling the world how good it is because I have no ego. I called it "squeezing another crap out of the organ pipe". simey gived it a star in his guidebook.

Da stuge
10:54:16 PM
Back from Uzbekistan and looking to offload a few things. Really great things, honestly.

10:54:36 PM
Home again and clearing out the cupboards. Itís all new stuff, but itís a new year, new style, you know, gotta move on. Itís all good for you too.

10:55:14 PM
Got some more stuff to move so I can head for wildest Africa. Thereís nothing wrong with all this stuff, sometimes itís not my colour or it just didnít suit me. Iíve changed and it doesnít quite feel right anymore. I donít think itís quite the height of fashion these days.

10:55:38 PM
Back in, um, where am I again? I get around so much I loose track of myself. Anyway, too much stuff on my hands again. Itís never been used. Maybe I never really do anything at all?

10:55:53 PM
Returning from the Antarctic and all this stuffís just gotta go. As you can see, itís all high quality gear Tough, reliable, high-tech. Shame to part with it really, but itís just not quite my thing - I need a few more features.

10:56:07 PM

10:56:14 PM

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There are 81 messages in this topic.


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