Chockstone Forum

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

Chockstone Photography

Australian Landscape Prints

Chockstone Forum - Trip Reports

Tells Us About Your Latest Trip!

Author

3 men and 1 Stiletto


climbau

4-Jan-2011
4:46:09 PM

On 4/01/2011 widewetandslippery wrote:
>@climbau, are you seeking professional help?
Not yet. I figured I would wait until the scars had a reasonable amount of time to really settle in deep. After all, I want value for money at the psych. If i'm gonna shell out my hard earned dosh I want it to be a challenge for the shrink.


Miguel75

4-Jan-2011
6:55:41 PM

This thread is really going places. Simey's write up isn't too far off the mark and if anyone else wants to take a stab at writing the TR for me I'll sweeten the pot. Best post can have my mates bouldering pad. It's a one of a kind, half melted MD pad, with half a bulls-eye still visible. You may want to remove the melted plastic first as it's a bit pointy and pokey.

Here're a few hints:
The players - M9, Climbau & Miguel75
The happenings - someone forgot to bring their 60 mtr rope (in the car) so we climbed on a 60 & 50. Someone wore womens sunnies; someone ran out every pitch, (except the top most 'crux' pitch which was extremely well protected with a slung shrub 50 cms from a bomber u bolt. This pitch may have been lead by a semi retarded climber who climbs slab like a lowland Gorilla). Also during the expedition, no scrotums were damaged in any way shape or form, that I'm aware of. Though I must say I didn't check all of them...

I really want to write this TR though the iPhone is no fun to type big things on... and I'm lazy. The best, most creative post can have the pad, maybe...;)

EDIT: I also forgot the sandal we found under the 3rd belay. It looked like a left though could be a right! It may also have had a leg attached (we were too scared/lazy to look.) If you are missing a sandal and or leg, it's in the bush under the belay.

richardo

4-Jan-2011
9:24:15 PM

The order of drugs in simey's TR was a dead giveaway that it was wrong.

Nude slabbing after a spliff? Sorry, but clearly that is a "great idea after a line of charlie" moment.

Acid next is standard practice. Lets face it you spend so much time sitting on ledges on a three person multi pitch that you may as well enjoy the lichen and the way it crawls all over the rock.

Finally, you always FINISH with a spliff cos you need a downer after the acid and coke.

Other than that I have no reason to believe there is anything untoward in simey's report.


IdratherbeclimbingM9

4-Jan-2011
9:58:33 PM

On 4/01/2011 climbau wrote:
>On 4/01/2011 widewetandslippery wrote:
>>@climbau, are you seeking professional help?
>Not yet. I figured I would wait until the scars had a reasonable amount
>of time to really settle in deep. After all, I want value for money at
>the psych. If i'm gonna shell out my hard earned dosh I want it to be a
>challenge for the shrink.

~> "Two timing bitch", someone said with an accompanying limp wristed dangly hand gesture... ~> they obviously thought M75 was the team shrink!

M75 wrote;
>This thread is really going places.

Too right.
~> Simey has added his unique touch of c l rass, to an otherwise non-descript* (heh, heh, heh), report!

(* M75 has been well and truly usurped!)


climbau

5-Jan-2011
8:38:09 AM

Mackey's Three.

Out at Mackeys 1, 2, 3... M75, M9 and Me.
Switching back one times three,
Across the slab, Mummy hold me!
Off in the distance spied we three,
The days accomplishment soon to be.
Rap off a shrub, oh so tiny.
Don't breathe too hard, the roots might free.

Down at pitch 1, three is two,
Dissent in the ranks, oh what to do?
Upstairs goes one, squirrel and squirm,
Squeal like a cat, hide in my hat.
To the back-up plan we go,
M9 in a can!
Can he do it? Yes he can!

Pitch 2 is a steel, a steel times two.
One ramp too high, Oh!
What an ordeal!
Off to the left, sling, hook, big cam,
Run it to hex, sized ring pull of a can.
On to the darkness, black lichen and humour,
Sandal times one, Source size 11?

Pitch 4 is straight up,
Lay back, slab and mud.
Water is scarce, but slick on the sludge
Awesome slings, M75 is in love.
Negotiate Ti Tree, Me and M9
M75 is up not wanting to sportclimb
Slinging the bush, steel ring times two,
M75 the glory is now to you.

The summit is grand,
a snap and slap of hand.
Three climbers are we tired, sullied
and pleased.
Sphagnum and Feldspar filtered water chugged down
With glee, back to the car this party of three.
Finish the day, beverage - beer of ginger,
M9 much harder, stronger the liquor.
One for a swim, one for a drive,
One for a birthday, New Year and good night.


ajfclark

5-Jan-2011
9:26:09 AM

Nice work.


Miguel75

5-Jan-2011
9:54:59 AM

Yes indeed; excellent work Andrew. You've done the awesome rainbow slings proud!

I am feeling usurped yet again. One day I would like to be the usurper!


Butters81

5-Jan-2011
10:03:38 AM

Is it meant to be rapped like Eminem in 8 Mile?


climbau

5-Jan-2011
10:21:21 AM

I will try and add pics tomorrow.


climbau

5-Jan-2011
10:23:47 AM

On 5/01/2011 Butters81 wrote:
>Is it meant to be rapped like Eminem in 8 Mile?
That is just sooooo ghetto Butters! ;)


IdratherbeclimbingM9

5-Jan-2011
11:16:45 AM

On 5/01/2011 Miguel75 wrote:
>Yes indeed; excellent work Andrew. You've done the AWESOME rainbow slings proud!
>
>I am feeling usurped yet again. One day I would like to be the usurper!

There you go M75...
~> Fixed that for you.
Heh, heh, heh.

@ climbau.
Good one.
Hmm, ... It seems your verse has run P2 & P3 together, which had one other bit of pro, the stacked stoppers protecting the traverse of fear, located high above the lost legged sandal!


Miguel75

5-Jan-2011
11:31:28 AM

That is better, I feel happier now! Thanks M9.


climbau

5-Jan-2011
11:47:15 AM

yes, P2&3 were run together. As I did not remember the stacked stoppers. I will try to correct my error at some stage. :)


IdratherbeclimbingM9

5-Jan-2011
11:59:54 AM

On 5/01/2011 climbau wrote:
>I did not remember the stacked stoppers.

Rope handling jiggery pokery shenanigans are then 'standard fare' for you!
~> It was good when we got the timing right to flick a bight of rope to M75 to backclip the second rope!
;-)

kieranl

5-Jan-2011
12:21:24 PM

Does anyone have any idea what this is all about?


IdratherbeclimbingM9

5-Jan-2011
12:29:03 PM

It was all about doing the trad line in trad style while avoiding crossing over into your route Flatfoot, or Joe's new route/s...

You could simply run with simey's imagination, or wait for M75 to actually post a trip report!!!
(He is going for the record of longest thread without substance to the topic? Heh, heh, heh.)

In the meantime, Climbau is wordplaying on his 'Count' (user moniker) theme, remembering the event in his own poetic version trip report...

Edit;
Flatfoot seemed to have a lot of vegetation (read metre high wattle type bushes), growing along it. I don't know if it was that way when you did it, but suspect not, as I think it is a post 2002 / 2007 fires occurrence. A shame really, as it looks like an interesting alternative otherwise.

kieranl

5-Jan-2011
12:51:54 PM

On 5/01/2011 IdratherbeclimbingM9 wrote:
>Edit;
>Flatfoot seemed to have a lot of vegetation (read metre high wattle type
>bushes), growing along it. I don't know if it was that way when you did
>it, but suspect not, as I think it is a post 2002 / 2007 fires occurrence.
>A shame really, as it looks like an interesting alternative otherwise.
I don't remember a lot about it but I still distinctly recall the pile of manky flakes and dirt that passed itself off as a belay on Stiletto and prompted the escape to Flatfoot.


Miguel75

5-Jan-2011
3:44:20 PM

Ok, iPhone or not I shall attempt to write an entertaining TR for the climb of 'Stilleto'.

It will have to wait a few minutes as I've been commanded to take the children to the park...


wallwombat

5-Jan-2011
7:02:56 PM

My tips are sore so I can only type a trip report with my dingle. Now that's getting sore.....blah....blah.... blah

Write a bloody trip report. Don't let fear stand in your way. Go for it.

Post pics. We know you have an IPhone.

And M9, I thought you were going for the coveted second ascent of The Bleeding Nun.

Blouse!


Miguel75

5-Jan-2011
9:27:24 PM

The day began with M9 and Climbau picking me up off the side of the road at the porepunkah roundabout. I felt like little orphan Annie, waiting until that special someone came along to claim me. once they turned up it was full steam ahead and we zipped along the road to buffalo, not even stopping to pay the entrance fee. After sticking it to the man we drove up to Mackeys lookout and racked up. It was about this time I was struck with selective deafness; Rod suggested we bring all three ropes, but I heard him say something like, "Miguel leave your heavy rope in the car and just take my thin 50 mtr." I thought this was a great idea as traveling fast and light is good in my books.

Once i had ditched all my heavy gear, and abrogated all responsibilities, we took off up the track until we reached the designated switchback where we headed off cross country. We wandered aimlessly until we found the smallest shrub alive and rapped off it into a creek bed where oriented ourselves.

Once we confirmed the start of the climb my perfidious rope leaving strategy was discovered and I was again struck with selective deafness... especially when confirming who was leading what pitch. Andrew thought about leading pitch one but we were on the same magnanimous page and let M9 lead every pitch. (That's how Andrew and I roll! Magnanimously!)

Pitch one and two were pretty straight forward, we, Andrew (climbau) and I offered moral support to M9 through every move which I think helped. At the bolted belay we tried to figure out where the route went as there were a few ramps leading left. We eventually confirmed, and launched up our route where we were privy to M9's technical wizadry involving a slung postage stamp sized 'flake', backed up with a skyhook, weighted with two cams... It was very cool! M9 then continued up, sowing each piece into dirt filled cracks. The 3rd belay was a lovely little cove with moss and water and nary a spot to plank my ample bottom. M9 took the honours again and led off looking to go as far as possible on the 50 & 60mtr ropes. While M9 had fun Andrew and I discussed the current affairs of the day and solved most of the worlds ills. It was about this time we discovered the sandal/leg combo in the bushes below. We immediatley called booty but were too lazy to go and collect our score. M9 led a nice long pitch that necessitated a bit of reorganization on the belay to get him those few extra meters of rope, which resulted in Andrew wandering up and around the corner, leaving me alone with the coke. I also believe this was around the time M9 damaged his bean bag... Hang on that's from Simeys dream...

It was a great 3rd pitch that lead up a nice polished slab (I was planning on French freeing the funky stuuf) but there was no pro to be found, (and I must say I didn't need it anyway) until you hit the mud and moss section where you needed gumboots. Andrew and I both enjoyed the pitch and by this time M9 must have been worn out after dragging us along all day, so i lead the 15 mtr crux pitch and in true first ascension style, ignored the super sturdy glue in u bolts instead chosing to sling a shrub 50 cms away.

By this time we were all satiated and ready for a nice cold ginger beer.

The end! (This was written on an iPhone so any blatant gaps in the story, and weirdness is to be attributed to that. I'll post some pics when I return from holidays...)

There are 49 messages in this topic.