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Coming out as a ~~gay~~ climber.


cruze

30-Mar-2009
10:51:13 AM

Was genuine. Was trying to establish that support is there from people of all shapes sizes and hair colour. From my experience with my ex-flatmate and friend, it can sometimes feel like an us and them thing. It isn't nor does it need to be. This whole thread is an exercise in how limited the written word is at communicating ideas appropriately.

Wendy

30-Mar-2009
11:04:05 AM

Sorry Cruze, I didn't mean to imply that you weren't genuine! I meant if the original post was genuine, yours would have been an appropriate response.

Wendy

30-Mar-2009
11:26:37 AM

On 30/03/2009 devlin66 wrote:
>It's the same as calling someone a girl when they clearly are not. Yes
>it's derogatory (sp?) and if one is wound up a little then it will be offending.
>I have no problem with people being gay..... or being girls for that matter
>as I rather like girls. I am sorry if I offended anybody.

I'm trying to work out why I find the term girl used in this less offensive than gay. I think it's because I understand "You're being a girl!" is in reference to being scared etc and associated with the idea of women as the weak and timid sex. Yes, it's still problematic, but I can at least make sense of it as not directed at the entire experience of being a woman and we have a longer history of accepting women as not actually being weak and timid these days. However, I'm not sure what characteristics are being referred to when one says "that's gay" and as such it seems more about the general undesirablity of being gay, the implication that universally gay is bad and we don't have enough of a trend of acceptance of gay people yet to counteract it as a joke. It is used so generally these days and by many people whom I know if they had thought about it more, would not agree with the implications behind it. It's become popular slang without enough thought about how it come to symbolise what it does.

devlin66

30-Mar-2009
11:49:52 AM

I think the two examples are of equals in terms in potential to offend. The fact, as you pointed out, that we have used the 'girl' remark longer means we are more accustomed to it. I would imagine that if you were either a girl or gay then it would become a pretty tiring remark to hear. Similar to telling people you rock climb and being told your a crazy dare devil. Though not offensive, can be pretty tiring to hear. I think what your saying is pretty right but I do believe that we, as a society, are starting to respect the lifestyles that people have in regards to being gay or not and I do believe that 'don't be gay' is on level terms with 'don't be a girl'.

The funny thing for me is that even though I wrote the remark I hardly ever use the two comments. It was pointed out to me quite a few years back about how derogatory it is and made a concious effort to not use it.


IdratherbeclimbingM9

30-Mar-2009
12:09:37 PM

The thing that most annoys me is the usurping of the word ‘gay’.

I remember being in a conversation with a younger person once when I was reading to them an account of probably the earliest recorded ‘real’ rockclimb in the Warrumbungles, by Dr Eric Dark (& co), on Tondron Spire.
Dr Dark described the event as 'one of the gayest light hearted climbs he had ever experienced'. The young person made a negative comment, because they had never known ‘gay’ to mean anything other than the usurped meaning.
... I still find this disappointing, probably because I am old fashioned and admire the pioneering efforts of folk like Dr Dark.

I am not gay*.

(*... though some might say that I climb like an old blouse!)


nmonteith

30-Mar-2009
12:23:25 PM

lots of words in the English language have two meanings Rod. I just noticed that my favorite icecream - the Golden Gaytime has relaunched a massive TV campaign recently - but going fully retro. The original meaning of the word is still alive!


evanbb

30-Mar-2009
12:27:40 PM

On 30/03/2009 IdratherbeclimbingM9 wrote:
>I am not gay*.

Nor am I, but in the old context I'm as gay as a flea today, after a solid weekend of bouldering.

I don't really care which avenue is being abused, unless it's the classic sport/trad debate, but I reckon we could all do with a little less divisiveness in our lives. Why can't everyone just be nice?


SwineOfTheTimes

30-Mar-2009
12:31:55 PM

It's spelt "GHEY" as in lame.

Darrren

30-Mar-2009
12:36:57 PM

glad the air is clear

Winston Smith

30-Mar-2009
1:08:26 PM

My wife is gay and so am I.

(To missquote Monty Python)

mikl law

30-Mar-2009
1:32:58 PM

On a socialogical note, climbing is a very constrained demographic. Mostly middle class white, straight, and (until recently) male. There are very few black or latino climbers in the US. I guess the influx of asians both here and in the US is becasue
a) they climb well
b) they are middle class and white.


Eduardo Slabofvic

30-Mar-2009
2:09:32 PM

This thread is so "Sport climber".

devlin66

30-Mar-2009
2:09:59 PM

I think gay became used as it related to the ones that pranced around being a bit to happy compared to the norm. Not all gays are gay but. Some are down right grumpy.

hero

30-Mar-2009
2:14:57 PM

I'm not a sport climber, but I've slept with a few people who were.


IdratherbeclimbingM9

30-Mar-2009
2:19:04 PM

On 30/03/2009 hero wrote:
>I'm not a sport climber, but I've slept with a few people who were.

Did they dream of clipping rings, topping out and all that other sport climber stuff ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post edit

On 29/03/2009 Darrren wrote:
>Hello everyone! If you haven't already figured it out, I am gay. No big
>surprise. I know. I just wanted to clear the air. Have a nice day.
>
>-Love Daz

&

On 29/03/2009 Darrren wrote:
>Thanks for the "story". However I dont understand why you needed to tell
>everyone your NOT gay. I hope you realize everyone is gay to some extent.
>Maybe you are insecure with your gayness? ;)

nmonteith (29/03/09)
>my bet is that this is a hacked account

cruze (30/03/09)
>I reckon that Darren's account has been hacked.

Probably not a hacked account ... because later
On 30/03/2009 Darrren wrote:
>glad the air is clear

... and did not contradict earlier postings, or suggest hacking.

~> Too much information, as really it is none of my business, and I don't need to know about anyones 'coming out'.


Eduardo Slabofvic

30-Mar-2009
2:35:14 PM

On 30/03/2009 hero wrote:
>I'm not a sport climber, but I've slept with a few people who were.

yeah? Who?


IdratherbeclimbingM9

30-Mar-2009
2:45:29 PM

On 29/03/2009 Darren wrote;
>I hope you realize everyone is gay to some extent.

The reaction on Chockstone is lightweight, as that statement will get you into a few fights in many pubs that I know of, or certain other locations where 'pQQfter bashing' (literally), is considered to be a fair sport(~~so you call yourself a climber eh?)~~.

Hehx3

patto

30-Mar-2009
2:48:09 PM

I'm most definately a trad climber.

In my earlier years I 'experimented' with sport climbing but that doesn't make me a sport climber. I haven't told my regular partner that I once had a sport climbing experience though.


Eduardo Slabofvic

30-Mar-2009
2:49:25 PM

I tried sport climbing one day back in college, but I didn't inhale.

widewetandslippery

30-Mar-2009
2:52:40 PM

On 30/03/2009 patto wrote:
>In my earlier years I 'experimented' with sport climbing but that doesn't
>make me a sport climber.

What was your problem, no good at the reach around?

There are 81 messages in this topic.