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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

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Author
climbing = dating?

bluey
23/10/2008
10:40:14 AM
Cripes, what is this guy doing that is so full on?
These days, everyone is so scared of rejection they never actually ask someone out, so usually come ons are pretty subtle - and if he's making subtle hints or appears to think your climbing activities are dating activities, just pretend you don't realise. If they're subtle hints that you find offensive just say "Look mate, that's a bit much isn't it?" and if he's asking you out on dates or home for a shag, just say thanks, but no thanks?

I just don't think it's that complicated.

The main problem seems to be your discomfort with the fact that this fella appears to like you when you don't like him - take it as a compliment, and deliver any knockbacks kindly.
noclimberboys
23/10/2008
10:40:27 AM
Yes, you've hit it on the head Cookie (and the others that have posted advice)... But you also said 'I'm doing it wrong'... how do people then go about making their heart strings heard? I was thinking I would leave it up to chemistry- that pheromone thing. My body will intrinsically know who to fornicate with?!?

Also I am eternally a commitment-phob! So hopefully the gods will have him, ahem hypothetical him, reading this and it will slowly dawn on him?

AnthonyK.. funny thing about your comment. That did happen to me awhile back..I was chatting to a guy and I mentioned some activity and enthusiastically invited him along ( no strings attached). I swear he leapt backwards 5 metres and ran running from the room!

Gosh, can guys and girls just not be platonic?

ajfclark
23/10/2008
10:50:20 AM
On 23/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>Gosh, can guys and girls just not be platonic?

According to ladder theory, no. ;-)

Sabu
23/10/2008
10:55:01 AM
On 23/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>My body will intrinsically know who to fornicate with?!?

And who not to (simey)!

cookie
23/10/2008
11:03:52 AM

>Yes, you've hit it on the head Cookie (and the others that have posted
>advice)... But you also said 'I'm doing it wrong'... how do people then
>go about making their heart strings heard? I was thinking I would leave
>it up to chemistry- that pheromone thing. My body will intrinsically know
>who to fornicate with?!?

sorry... the "you're doing it wrong" was a line from a thread of funny photos... sort of like "fail" and icanhazchezburger...

to be honest i had the same issues when i was in my 18-20 year bracket.. i had a slew of guys following me around like puppy dogs that i just wasn't interested in.. and the ones i was interested in were so narcissistic that not a single one of my relationships lasted more than 4 weeks (o.k one was 3 months but hey). it's life. boys chace girls who chase other boys who are not interested or chasing other girls or in some instances, are gay. i wouldn't leave it up to your pheromones, cos you will get every stray that way... just be yourself, and be nice and eventually you will get someone who you are a match with :)


>Gosh, can guys and girls just not be platonic?

no. no and no and no. maybe after a roll in the hay.. but no ; ) unless there is aspecific reason, like he's your boyfriend's brother, or a long lost relative and it is morally taboo... otherwise, free-for-all :)
i had an in depth heated discussion about this with a guy i was just friends with (at the time), i remember saying "you'll see" and he was all like "no you can be friends" HAHAHA now we live together!!!! *gets all reminiscent and happy* but it might have been a way to tune me :P

anthonyk
23/10/2008
11:10:35 AM
another way you can do it is give the guy the benefit of the doubt, be friendly, do your climbing etc but interact with them as a friend. thats one way to head off embarassing let downs, be positive about how you get along as friends etc, you don't even have to put it in words. gives them a chance to recognise whats going on and not lose face etc.

if they're not going to make it obvious that they're interested just deal with the ambiguity. of course if they're direct, be clear as well. but i don't see why people feel they have to jump on any possibility that someone was interested in them, are they embarrassed about it?

Capt_mulch
23/10/2008
11:11:17 AM
I just love that 'ladder theory' stuff.

My favourite part of the analysis:

Criticism: That's not true
Answer: Yes it is.

bluey
23/10/2008
11:13:30 AM
And I guess you're assuming he doesn't read chockstone and/or won't figure out this 4 page thread is dedicated to how much you're not interested in him? Poor bugger.
simey
23/10/2008
11:15:19 AM
On 23/10/2008 Sabu wrote:
>On 23/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>>My body will intrinsically know who to fornicate with?!?
>
>And who not to (simey)!

Well I probably won't do your climbing any harm.
Wendy
23/10/2008
11:49:12 AM
On 23/10/2008 simey wrote:
>On 23/10/2008 Sabu wrote:
>>On 23/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>>>My body will intrinsically know who to fornicate with?!?
>>
>>And who not to (simey)!
>
>Well I probably won't do your climbing any harm.
>

Seeing you can't be bothered leading these days, you'd probably be great for their climbing, never has a girl had somuch time on the sharp end ...

Eduardo Slabofvic
23/10/2008
11:50:02 AM
On 23/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>Also I am eternally a commitment-phob! So hopefully the gods will have
>him, ahem hypothetical him, reading this and it will slowly dawn on him?

I know the perfect boy for you.
noclimberboys
23/10/2008
12:09:09 PM
On 23/10/2008 bluey wrote:

>The main problem seems to be your discomfort with the fact that this fella
>appears to like you when you don't like him - take it as a compliment,
>and deliver any knockbacks kindly.

You're right! I think I just don't like someone being overly friendly and constantly trying to talk to me. Every time I turn around, he's there!...Though... he's always talking about himself...

>Cripes, what is this guy doing that is so full on?
>These days, everyone is so scared of rejection they never actually ask
>someone out, so usually come ons are pretty subtle

Yes, you're right about this too! I think there's a systemic problem. Give me a guy who's willing to throw their heart on their sleeves, rather than slyly asking to grab a coffee and giving me 15 minutes to get to know each other (of cause only the right guy should do this - otherwise I'm going to go running!)

Subtle, half arsed come ons are so sly! Like a slimy eel.

Okay, I'm off to practise my blank face as well and rehearse nice lines.



- and if he's making
>subtle hints or appears to think your climbing activities are dating activities,
>just pretend you don't realise. If they're subtle hints that you find offensive
>just say "Look mate, that's a bit much isn't it?" and if he's asking you
>out on dates or home for a shag, just say thanks, but no thanks?
>
>I just don't think it's that complicated.
>
Wendy
23/10/2008
12:12:29 PM
On 23/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:

>You're right! I think I just don't like someone being overly friendly
>and constantly trying to talk to me. Every time I turn around, he's there!...Though...
>he's always talking about himself...

Either there's a lot of guys out there who only talk about themselves or this is a serious giveaway ...

cookie
23/10/2008
12:55:53 PM

>>You're right! I think I just don't like someone being overly friendly
>>and constantly trying to talk to me. Every time I turn around, he's there!...Though...
>>he's always talking about himself...
>
>Either there's a lot of guys out there who only talk about themselves
>or this is a serious giveaway ...

no giveaway, that is all they talk about... ;D
widewetandslippery
23/10/2008
1:14:54 PM
Simey love your work

>Seeing you can't be bothered leading these days, you'd probably be great
>for their climbing, never has a girl had somuch time on the sharp end ...

But how did you make your end sharp? Pencil sharpener?



kev
23/10/2008
1:45:53 PM
On 23/10/2008 cookie wrote:
>
>>>You're right! I think I just don't like someone being overly friendly
>>>and constantly trying to talk to me. Every time I turn around, he's
>there!...Though...
>>>he's always talking about himself...
>>
>>Either there's a lot of guys out there who only talk about themselves
>>or this is a serious giveaway ...
>
>no giveaway, that is all they talk about... ;D

Umm... Does this climber also work there?

DaCrux
23/10/2008
2:16:29 PM
noclimberboys, there's nothing wrong with dating climberboys :) I married my climbing partner 12 days ago - check out our wedding cake ;)

Capt_mulch
23/10/2008
2:21:27 PM
On 23/10/2008 DaCrux wrote:
>noclimberboys, there's nothing wrong with dating climberboys :) I married
>my climbing partner 12 days agowedding cake
>
Looks like two dynos and you were there (though how much hauling was required to get your second up :-)

bluey
23/10/2008
2:29:26 PM
On 23/10/2008 DaCrux wrote:
>noclimberboys, there's nothing wrong with dating climberboys :) I married
>my climbing partner 12 days ago - check out our wedding cake ;)
>

That is the best, most romantic wedding cake I have ever seen! awwwww. You're her belay slave and she's your leadergirl....sweeeeeeeet.
widewetandslippery
23/10/2008
2:31:26 PM
People get married for romance? I thought they did it to keep the relies happy.

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There are 285 messages in this topic.

 

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