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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

 Page 35 of 61. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 40 | 41 to 60 | 61 to 80 | 81 to 100 | 101 to 120 | 121 to 140 | 141 to 160 | 161 to 180 | 181 to 200 | 201 to 220 | 221 to 240 | 241 to 260 | 261 to 280 | 281 to 300 | 301 to 320 | 321 to 340 | 341 to 360 | 361 to 380 | 381 to 400 | 401 to 420 | 421 to 440 | 441 to 460 | 461 to 480 | 481 to 500 | 501 to 520 | 521 to 540 | 541 to 560 | 561 to 580 | 581 to 600 | 601 to 620 | 621 to 640 | 641 to 660 | 661 to 680 | 681 to 700 | 701 to 720 | 721 to 740 | 741 to 760 | 761 to 780 | 781 to 800 | 801 to 820 | 821 to 840 | 841 to 860 | 861 to 880 | 881 to 900 | 901 to 920 | 921 to 940 | 941 to 960 | 961 to 980 | 981 to 1000 | 1001 to 1020 | 1021 to 1040 | 1041 to 1060 | 1061 to 1080 | 1081 to 1100 | 1101 to 1120 | 1121 to 1140 | 1141 to 1160 | 1161 to 1180 | 1181 to 1200 | 1201 to 1204
Author
Friday Funnies
egosan
17-Sep-2010
1:26:46 PM
On 17/09/2010 jkane wrote:

>OK, I'm at work and have a serious case of the "can't be f**ks". This
>a joke hand crafted by me. My wife even thought it was "almost funny".
>

Nope. Your wife was being generous. Horseshoes and hand grenades.

Sabu
17-Sep-2010
1:42:39 PM
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/entertainment/7962950/george-michael-placed-in-paedophile-wing

>"George was locked up in his cell having his breakfast when an inmate burst into song,"

>"He sang the lyrics to 'Freedom' and a couple of others joined in."

Haha way to mess with him!
gfdonc
24-Sep-2010
4:41:03 PM
Friday funnies has been a bit quiet lately .. here's this one lifted from Supertopo (end of climbing-relevant part):

Largest Pro-wanking Demonstration in History

WILMINGTON - Galvanized by Republican senatorial nominee Christine O'Donnell's anti-masturbation stance, masturbators from across the state converged on Wilmington today in what some are calling the largest pro-wanking protest in American history.

Carrying signs reading, "O'Donnell: Hands Off Our Masturbation," the angry masturbators clogged downtown Wilmington, stopping traffic for blocks.

Harley Farger, a leading Delaware masturbator and planner of the Million Masturbators March, said it was difficult to organize masturbators "because they're used to acting alone."

Mr. Farger, the executive director of the pro-monkey-spanking group MasturNation, said that the "wank and file" of his organization believe that masturbation is an inalienable right guaranteed by the Constitution.

"Our country was founded by rugged individualists," he said. "And you know what individualists like to do."

He said that Ms. O'Donnell's anti-whacking position was "ill-timed," adding, "In this economy, masturbation is one of the few simple pleasures people still can afford."

Tracy Klugian, a homemaker and masturbator from Dover, Delaware, said she is "puzzled" by what she sees as the contradictory nature of candidate O'Donnell's position: "If you're against masturbation, why would you want to serve in Congress?"

A spokesman for the Wilmington Police Department, Crandall Darlington, said that the Million Masturbators March could cost the city tens of thousands of dollars, "especially when you include the cost of cleaning up afterwards."

ajfclark
24-Sep-2010
7:01:57 PM
Speaking of spanking the monkey: http://www.addictinggames.com/monkey.html

Hans
24-Sep-2010
7:45:06 PM
I was in London recently. As I was walking around I saw a sign advertising this flash new zoo that'd just opened up. What the hell, I figure, and head along.

So I get there and there's just one small room with one small cage with a single small dog sitting inside.

Yeah, it was a shitzu.

MrsM10iswhereitsat.
8-Oct-2010
2:04:54 AM
Hello Chockerstone dearies. Derek my M10 love has told me that there have been some unusual posts on this lovely site this week. Goodness me, he mentioned all sorts of things like spooning, and inappropriate photos, and other innuendo too rude to repeat. Teeheehee, he tells me the funniest things sometimes.

He said the trip reports were worth reading too as there are plenty of them this week, but that they can sometimes take a bit of finding and some of them finish just as they start to become interesting. He says that reports can come in many styles and when I asked him to please explain, he gave me one he found to post but I am not too sure about it being much of a report. What do you think?








An aging curly haired boulderer arrived home after a long bouldering session out at the mount, and was horrified to find his current friend in bed with a young, handsome boy.

Just as he was about to storm out of the house, his lover stopped him with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about:"

"Driving home from Horsham, I saw this young guy hitching, looking poor and tired (very much like a young version of that odd fellow who occasionally catches public transport from interstate to camp at the Pines), so I offered him a lift.

He was hungry, so I brought him home and fed him some of the cafe leftovers you had forgotten about in the refrigerator.

His trad climbing shoes were worn out so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't wear because they are no longer your style.

He was cold, so I gave him that lovely tight new birthday T-shirt you never wore even once because you said the sleeves were too long, and that it didn't suit you, but I think that it is because you have put on weight.

His trousers were worn out too, so I gave him a pair of yours that you don't fit into anymore.

Then as he was about to leave the house, he paused and asked, 'Is there anything else that your lover doesn't use anymore?'

"And so, here we are!"

sbm
8-Oct-2010
11:09:02 AM
I like my women like I like my boulder problems. Easy and with big jugs.

I like my women like I like my boulder problems. Desperate and with an exposed top.

(In reply)

I like my men like I like my boulder problems. Tall, thoughtful, and rough around the edges.

I like my men like I like my boulder problems. Incredibly long and hard and working me over till the finish.
PDRM
8-Oct-2010
11:28:14 AM
From Alpinist Mag this month

Photobucket

ajfclark
8-Oct-2010
11:36:03 AM
I'm pretty sure I can see that deodorant stick.

MrsM10iswhereitsat.
22-Oct-2010
9:57:10 AM
Hello lovely Chockstoners. My my, where did this week go? They seem to go by very fast these days.
Derek my M10 love says we should all slow down a bit, but if he moved any slower I think someone would call for a Whacker-Packer to revive him. He tells me this is not so, amongst other ramblings like wanting to move to Tassie to be closer to The Tote, but I think he just wants to go somewhere where his slowness won't be noticed.

Oh, sorry, Derek tells me I am hijacking this lovely thread. OK dearies, here is a slow down article, he found for you to read today that he thinks sounds about right for the location at the moment.












Circle Flies.


A trad climber from southern Tasmania attends a social function on the mainland near Mt Arapiles where a curly haired boulderer is speechifying. Clearly the trad climber was not paying much attention, yackking with those closest and even quite far away (something about hammering and development at the Pines I believe).

Curly haired boulderer endeavoured to attract his interest with slower, single syllable words.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head. The trad climber says, "Yer havin' some problem with them circle flies?"

Curly haired boulderer stopped talking and said, "Well, yes, if that's what they're called, but I've never heard of circle flies."

"Well mister," the trad climber replies, "Circle flies hang around a lot. They're called circle flies because they're almost always found circling around the back end of a horse."

"Oh," Curly haired boulderer replies, and resumes rambling. But, a moment later he stops and aggressively asks, "Are you calling me a horse's arse?"
"No, mister," the trad climber replies, "I have too much respect for the citizens of this town to call their entrepreneurial boulderer a horse's arse."

"Thank you for that respectful explanation," Curly haired boulderer responds, and resumes rambling once more.

Then the trad climber adds slowly ..

"Hard to fool them flies, though."

pmonks
28-Oct-2010
8:50:18 AM
It's not phriday, but phuck it - here's an awesome joke anyway.


Q. How do you make a hormone?



























A. Tell her this joke!
widewetandslippery
28-Oct-2010
9:34:58 AM
On 28/10/2010 pmonks wrote:
>It's not phriday, but phuck it - here's an awesome joke anyway.
>
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>Q. How do you make a hormone?
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>A. Tell her this joke!

I thought the answer was kick her in the guts. Thats the version I heard at school.
widewetandslippery
28-Oct-2010
10:08:46 AM
Thats a bit masocistic isn't it?
widewetandslippery
28-Oct-2010
10:14:15 AM
I'm glad your moderate.

ajfclark
28-Oct-2010
10:21:40 AM
I don't understand.
widewetandslippery
28-Oct-2010
10:33:53 AM
I'm approaching being a little rude so I'll stop now.

pmonks
29-Oct-2010
9:01:25 AM
On 28/10/2010 widewetandslippery wrote:
>I thought the answer was kick her in the guts. Thats the version I heard
>at school.

Yeah me too, but when I heard this version recently I thought it was better...
widewetandslippery
29-Oct-2010
9:06:53 AM
I agree, it actually adds to it if you've heard the original as she probaly has to.

pmonks
29-Oct-2010
9:45:30 AM
In a similar vein:

"You can lead a horticulture but you can't make him think."
widewetandslippery
29-Oct-2010
11:36:37 AM
The rainbow colours are making sense now the whores are hes.

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There are 1204 messages in this topic.

 

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