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World Climbing - Book Competition - Nov 2005
5:00:58 PM
Porn? Aliens? Stains on the coffee table?? What the???

Ok, I've read the START of the forum now and it all makes snese.


I should win that coffeee table book because I'm not going to make some bulldust story up to get it - rather:

1. I've poured all my money this year into a ticket to a Third-World country, where I'll be working for nothing, living on rice and beans, and getting eaten alive by mosquitoes, so that I can save a small patch of rainforest

2. There'll be no climbing where I'm going, and when I finally come back here looking like a brown swizzel-stick from my minimalist diet & lack of training, I'll need something to look at, and remind me of the good times ahead whilst I pump iron and throw endless laps on the woody trying to getting back into form!

3. Said poverty means I can't afford this book as a Christmas present to myself. I used up the last of my savings on water purification tablets and rabies shots.

I'm doing a re-think now. Maybe I'M the one who's crazy....

5:13:32 PM
Would you like to go quietly, or be dragged away kicking and screaming?
5:29:10 PM
One day to go and the comp is hotting up!

6:56:50 PM

Those infamous line are crying,
"Come back; oh come back"
It's the famous excuse; I utter "I just think I'm too slack"

They require weeks of effort and frustration,
Sweat, blood and toil,
Is it worth it for that short period of elation?

I walk underneath them, cowering as they seem to sneer
"You're no good!"
"You're too soft!"
"Leave us alone!"
"Hey fatty, go drink some more beer!"

The lure of the line and the tension in the smear,
Fingers feel the rock as if by design, I reach to clip the bolt,
Too late comes the slack as my boot's grip does resign.

Slumped on the rope, the 5th time for today...admitting defeat,
Oh no not again!
My heart does a backflip, A triple drumbeat

Monotony makes us wiser, adjusting to the line,
Of the route, it gives us an insight,
Most call it a redpoint, I prefer to call it "delight".


Sorry that's about as creative as I get :)

I need to gaze on those images to get motivated to tick off some more projects (FAs of course) which will in turn greatly benefit the VIC climbing community :) ...well, maybe they will if you can be arsed driving up to Nth Eastern Vic!!


8:01:56 PM
here's mypoem...

i would like to have your book
so that i can have a look
at all the pretty places to climb
so that i dont have to go for myself some time
for i am afraid that i
might fall off, and deck, and die
then everyone on chockstone would cry
why oh why oh why oh why
did simey not give the book to the mouse
for if he had they would think 'simey is grouse'
and take lots of presents and stuff to his house
like pillows for ziggy and ropes for monique
and enough lollipops to last you all for at least a week
('carn guys give us a break....what rhymes with monique??? oh yeh!!!)

and she would give simey a peck on the cheek
and mousey would happily sit
at the base of the crag, doing his bit;
-belaying and
-reading and
-sorting ya kit
and writing silly poems to try and score
(books) but if that doesnt work you know ill just cry poor


8:08:08 PM
>"Hey fatty, go drink some more beer!"

rightio, see yas lata! (nick, you gonna be at boronia on sat? of course you are, so you can put the draws on lyptus for me!!! congrats buddy)
9:14:58 PM
I really deserve this book because it will maintain my reputation as a complete wanker to have a signed copy to add my first-edition shelf.
The book will be rubbing shoulders with books signed by the likes of Jung Chang, Rob Leach and Edward Whymper (signed posthumously at a seance in the back of an old bookshop in the lakes district twenty-two years ago - I almost got J.G.Frazier to autograph The Golden Bough but the stupid bugger got himself staked-out on a tree somewhere in Norway).
On a completely selfish note, it will be a wonderful boost to my superannuation, which means that you youngsters will be spending less of your taxes on my pension.
Shantih shantih shantih *

* From The Waist Band by Andrew Lloyd Webber

9:35:33 PM
and the snozzberrys reallytaste like snozzberrys!! mmmm
10:02:05 PM
On 24/11/2005 mousey wrote:
>here's mypoem...

Flippen eck Mousey, you're a right crack up!

10:07:25 PM

............we interupt this competion to bring you a special NEWS FLASH!

Onsight Enterprises are delighted to annouce the venues for the World Climbing Book Launch and Slide Show Tour 2005 (aka. Onsight does Oz - or at least a bit of it) are all now confirmed. The tour kicks off on Sydney this coming Monday...

SYDNEY - Monday 28th November, Shelbourne Hotel, Altitude Bar (200 Sussex Street) starts 6.30pm, entry free!

KATOOMBA - Tuesday 6th December, The Carrington Hotel, The Ballroom (top of Katoomba Street) starts 7pm, entry $5, champagne provided...

CANBERRA - Wednesday 7th December, Copland Theatre (Kingsley Street, ANU, Acton) starts 7pm, entry free!

MELBOURNE - Wednesday 14th December, Casey Plaza Theatre (RMIT, Building 10, Bowen Street) starts 7pm, entry $5.

So join us for this special book launch, drinks, and a short behind-the-scenes slide show. Launch the launch flyer here

Hope to see you there!


10:35:02 PM
>Onsight Enterprses are delighted to annouce
tat wee carnt speel ant vee ar goung tooo geev ar book to moosey

argg ill be thar me 'arty, an ill get yur free booky autograffed

10:54:08 PM
Hey Mousey - you been hooking into the Champas already?

Well leave us some for the launches would ya!

10:56:40 PM
hhe dont be sully mr carter, of corsh nut

gunight, ill be up tomorrow night for the weekend

11:24:19 PM
bugger... i just realised that all this time i'd been trying to come up with a witty and creative response, i got nothin. So i'll just be entered in the name outta a hat draw. oh well.

11:28:55 PM
well itsa a lovely name.... youSHOULD win! did i mntion that i have massive biceps? :P

1:56:24 AM
now thats no way to act mousey.....drinking is never the answer.
8:29:33 AM
i just got back from painting weribee gorge a brighter shade of orange so it looks better in the
that creative? i think tomorrow i will paint the blue mountains more blue-erar.
Dave C
8:53:34 AM
On 24/11/2005 Onsight wrote:

>MELBOURNE - Wednesday
>14th December, Casey Plaza Theatre (RMIT, Building 10, Bowen Street) starts
>7pm, entry $5.

Not even time to unpack the bags and get over the jet lag (we fly in on the 13th!!) If I can convince the mrs I'll be trying to get there.
9:00:39 AM
That kind of commitment deserves to win the book. Flying from Europe just for the book launch!!

9:06:53 AM
Is there climbing outside the shire ?- better count me in for a look at the book.

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There are 232 messages in this topic.


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