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How to be the best?


shortman

6-Aug-2012
9:15:10 PM

What surgical enhancements would be best for my climbing?

I was thinking buttocks injections would give me more core strength, because I'm 2 weeks into training and I want a really quick solution. Training takes up way too much time, takes too much effort and does not have quick results.

Does anyone know if they inject actual muscle?

If not what training techniques would all the experts recommend for a very physically gifted lazy and busted 6ft8 73kilo egostistical introvert with power in one leg and one hand?

I'm running 6 x 50m traversing laps on easy vertical stuff daily. The rest is stretching 4 x 10 mins and maybe 15 minutes of finger work with a straight bar and 20kgs in front of the telly if I get time.

What do to other than boulder for power training?

My fingers won't cope with a board.

Marssan

6-Aug-2012
9:25:06 PM

Post of the year thus far


Duang Daunk

6-Aug-2012
9:26:51 PM

On 6/08/2012 shortman wrote:
>What surgical enhancements would be best for my climbing?
>
>I was thinking buttocks injections would give me more core strength, because
>I'm 2 weeks into training and I want a really quick solution. Training
>takes up way too much time, takes too much effort and does not have quick
>results.
>
>Does anyone know if they inject actual muscle?
>
>If not what training techniques would all the experts recommend for a
>very physically gifted lazy and busted 6ft8 73kilo egostistical introvert
>with power in one leg and one hand?
>
>
>I'm running 6 x 50m traversing laps on easy vertical stuff daily. The
>rest is stretching 4 x 10 mins and maybe 15 minutes of finger work with
>a straight bar and 20kgs in front of the telly if I get time.
>
>What do to other than boulder for power training?
>
>My fingers won't cope with a board.
>
I'll swap you simeys black book and davidns chook house for the telly, and reckon I'd come off best.


rodw

6-Aug-2012
9:39:49 PM

On 6/08/2012 shortman wrote:

>I was thinking buttocks injections would give me more core strength, because

Having a big arse doesn't help, though maybe that's why I've got the one huge abb muscle instead of the less economical six pack to compensate.


shortman

6-Aug-2012
9:49:10 PM

On 6/08/2012 Marssan wrote:
>Post of the year thus far

Na. (Dunno how to imbed links to it), but this one is heaps better. Turned out the dude was a drummer. Funny shit.

On 10/02/2012 One Day Hero wrote:
>On 10/02/2012 bigchris wrote:
>>
>>Not bothered at all by this lol - I just would like to climb mid 20's
>>and be decent.
>>
>O.k., I'll start with this one, cause its where your idea of climbing
>is furthest out of step with reality.
>
>You just roll that off as if it ain't no thing......."All I want is to
>be able to cruise my way up mid 20's routes at araps (24, 25, 26)......y'know,
>I'm not asking for too much"
>
>Fuuuuuuuuuuck! Do you have any idea how few climbers can actually do that?
>How many people spend years of their life dedicated to this activity and
>never climb 26? I would guess that three quarters of the people on this
>forum (whom you're asking for advice) have never and will never climb 26,
>let alone on gear and in good style!.......because its kinda hard to do.
>
>Allow me to translate your question to another activity.....say, music
>
>grade 30+ = pro muso (making some sort of living)
>
>high 20's = gigging muso who has a dedicated following, plays wicked gigs,
>and makes 'beer money'
>
>mid 20's = gigging muso who doesn't get paid but people come to the gigs
>and dig the music
>
>low 20's = gigging muso, but after 3 songs the only people in the room
>are mates of the band
>
>high teens = the odd gig, but after 3 songs even their mates walk out
>
>low teens = bedroom hacker
>
>Now, with that frame of reference, here is a translation of the climbing
>question you just asked......
>
>"Hi, I'm getting into drumming, and I want to know how to be better. I
>don't want to be a pro, just keen to play awesome gigs which go off, and
>to garner a following for the band. Currently I have a practice pad which
>I play on twice a week, and I drum on my steering wheel on the way to work.
>About once a month I borrow a mate's kit for the arvo. So, just wondering
>what advice people have that'll get me some sweet gigs?"
>
>..............?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

One Day Hero

6-Aug-2012
10:33:55 PM

Dan, if you want to be the best it's important to feel the thrill of the fight. Also, have you tried risin' up to the challenge of your rivals?


shortman

6-Aug-2012
10:51:57 PM

Close.

Its like cluedo when u know at least 2 out of three and have a stab in the dark at the third.

Sometimes u just gotta put yourself out there.

simey

6-Aug-2012
11:01:31 PM

Any training that develops your climbing ability alongside strength and stamina is the go. I've said this a lot before on Chockstone, but start throwing laps on Richmond Bridge (the railway bridge that crosses Yarra Boulevard). Throw multiple laps back and forth on both walls and when that becomes easy, do it in your runners.

I still reckon it is the most realistic form of training you can do, particularly for trad climbing. As Damo said, it's important to feel the thrill of the fight and I reckon sketching though Richmond Bridge on totally pumped forearms whilst trying to milk every little shake you can is ideal fight training.


shortman

6-Aug-2012
11:34:49 PM

On 6/08/2012 simey wrote:
>Any training that develops your climbing ability alongside strength and
>stamina is the go. I've said this a lot before on Chockstone, but start
>throwing laps on Richmond Bridge (the railway bridge that crosses Yarra
>Boulevard). Throw multiple laps back and forth on both walls and when that
>becomes easy, do it in your runners.
>
>I still reckon it is the most realistic form of training you can do, particularly
>for trad climbing. As Damo said, it's important to feel the thrill of the
>fight and I reckon sketching though Richmond Bridge on totally pumped forearms
>whilst trying to milk every little shake you can is ideal fight training.

Yeah that wall is a good fight.
>
>

spicelab

7-Aug-2012
9:56:07 AM

On 6/08/2012 shortman wrote:
>
>I'm running 6 x 50m traversing laps on easy vertical stuff daily. The
>rest is stretching 4 x 10 mins and maybe 15 minutes of finger work with
>a straight bar and 20kgs in front of the telly if I get time.

Does anyone understand a word of this, except maybe the stretching bit?


shortman

7-Aug-2012
10:25:08 AM

Yes, I totally understand it.

spicelab

7-Aug-2012
11:47:17 AM

I would venture that at 6ft8in and 73kg you've obviously got your diet nailed.

simey

7-Aug-2012
12:03:52 PM

On 7/08/2012 spicelab wrote:
>I would venture that at 6ft8in and 73kg you've obviously got your diet nailed.

Yep Dan, you should share your diet tips. At 6ft3in I struggle to keep my weight under 92kgs. If you can help me drop 20kg I reckon I would be tearing it up.


ajfclark

7-Aug-2012
12:28:53 PM

On 7/08/2012 simey wrote:
>Yep Dan, you should share your diet tips. At 6ft3in I struggle to keep my weight under 92kgs. If you can help me drop 20kg I reckon I would be tearing it up.

Are you really only at bit over an inch taller than me and weigh ~15kg more Simey? That doesn't sound right.

MichaelOR

7-Aug-2012
12:39:57 PM

But remember that Simey is a 'buffed' footballer - the extra kilos appear just as part of that lifestyle. He can't help it. Train and play hard and there's no escaping the kilos.
How many buffed footballers tear it up on rock anyway? Simey has specialised too much. He used to crank much harder back in his softer days pre footy.

Dan, maybe you should be playing footy too!

kieranl

7-Aug-2012
12:52:01 PM

On 7/08/2012 MichaelOR wrote:
>How many buffed footballers tear it up on rock anyway? Simey has specialised
>too much. He used to crank much harder back in his softer days pre footy.
Buffed footballers? Nati Rams? Computer says no.


Climboholic

7-Aug-2012
12:56:19 PM


Macciza

7-Aug-2012
1:02:21 PM

On 6/08/2012 shortman wrote:
>What surgical enhancements would be best for my climbing?

Tendon 'enhancement' - something like what pro motocross riders do . .
Get them shortened or something so you can hang on easier . .
Or slightly adjust the attachment point for better leverage etc . .
The ultimate ofcourse would be some sort of XMen style metal spikes
or genetics-type stuff and get spider or fly genes spliced into you some how . .
Not sure about that last one, but the rest are mostly legit . . .


shortman

7-Aug-2012
1:03:43 PM

On 7/08/2012 simey wrote:
>On 7/08/2012 spicelab wrote:
>>I would venture that at 6ft8in and 73kg you've obviously got your diet
>nailed.
>
>Yep Dan, you should share your diet tips. At 6ft3in I struggle to keep
>my weight under 92kgs. If you can help me drop 20kg I reckon I would be
>tearing it up.
>

Get a raging amphetamine habit. Eat lunch only. Smoke ciggies for breakfast and weed for dinner. The weight will be gone in no time.

simey

7-Aug-2012
2:09:37 PM

On 7/08/2012 ajfclarke wrote:
>Are you really only at bit over an inch taller than me and weigh ~15kg more Simey? That doesn't sound right.

Well I am a fraction taller, but not quite 6ft4in. But my weight of 92kg is accurate. I am not really sure where it is all located. I did put on weight when I started playing footy. I used to be around 85kg in my climbing days (and I thought I was heavy then).

On 7/08/2012 shortman wrote:
>Get a raging amphetamine habit. Eat lunch only. Smoke ciggies for breakfast and weed for dinner. The weight will be gone in no time.

I reckon you could market that weight-loss program Dan. Just give it a fancy name and then write a best selling book talking up all its virtues.

There are 31 messages in this topic.