Goto Chockstone Home

  Guide
  Gallery
  Tech Tips
  Articles
  Reviews
  Dictionary
  Links
  Forum
  Search
  About

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

  Shop

Petzl: D11 "Rappel Rack". For use with 1 or 2 ropes. Diameters from 9mm to 13mm. Two red fixed bars make for easy threading. SUPER Special!  $119.00
21% Off

Chockstone Photography Australian Landscape Photography by Michael Boniwell
Australian Landscape Prints





Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

 Page 34 of 39. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 40 | 41 to 60 | 61 to 80 | 81 to 100 | 101 to 120 | 121 to 140 | 141 to 160 | 161 to 180 | 181 to 200 | 201 to 220 | 221 to 240 | 241 to 260 | 261 to 280 | 281 to 300 | 301 to 320 | 321 to 340 | 341 to 360 | 361 to 380 | 381 to 400 | 401 to 420 | 421 to 440 | 441 to 460 | 461 to 480 | 481 to 500 | 501 to 520 | 521 to 540 | 541 to 560 | 561 to 580 | 581 to 600 | 601 to 620 | 621 to 640 | 641 to 660 | 661 to 680 | 681 to 700 | 701 to 720 | 721 to 740 | 741 to 760 | 761 to 764
Author
Quotes
k
19-Feb-2010
3:13:31 PM
On 18/02/2010 egosan wrote:
>"Insisting on absolute
>safety is for people who don't have the balls to live in the real world."
>- Mary Shafer, NASA Dryden Flight Research Center


Everyone's favourite bolter, are you listening?

IdratherbeclimbingM9
19-Feb-2010
3:25:20 PM
(A post for ww&s...)

>Bumper stickers seen on vehicles around US military bases:

"Except For Ending Slavery, Fascism, Nazism and Communism, WAR has Never Solved Anything."

" U.S. Marines - Certified Counselors to the 72 Virgins Dating Club."

" U.S. Air Force - Travel Agents To Allah"

"Stop Global Whining"

"When In Doubt, Empty The Magazine"

"Naval Corollary: Dead Men Don't Testify"

"The Marine Corps - When It Absolutely, Positively Has To Be Destroyed Overnight"

"Death Smiles At Everyone - Marines Smile Back"

"Marine Sniper - You can run, but you'll just die tired!"

"Marines - Providing Enemies of America an Opportunity To Die For their Country Since 1775"

"Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Anyone Who Threatens It"

"Happiness Is A Belt-Fed Weapon"

"Artillery Brings Dignity to What Would Otherwise Be Just A Vulgar Brawl"

"One Shot, Twelve Kills - U.S. Naval Gun Fire Support"

"My Kid Fought In Iraq So Your Kid Can Party In College"

"Machine Gunners - Accuracy By Volume"

"A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers"


Chuck Norris
19-Feb-2010
9:25:09 PM
I was going to say something else but m9's post reminded me of the following story. Back in the day I did an awesome climbing road trip around the mid west with a californian mate. Anyway in some hick town in the middle of nowhere there was a dude selling bumper stickers with lines such as:

"The miracle of Aids - turns fruits into vegetables"

"Have you hugged your assault rifle today?"

"Reach out and touch somebody - Become a sniper"

Etc - you get the picture.

Anyway I bought a few cos I thought it would appeal to a couple of mates' sense of humour. So we all had a giggle when I came back to oz and I handed them over (I bought the gun ones) and he proudly whacked them on his bumper.

I didn't go but a week or so later my mates drove up to buffalo. But when they got there they got a weird hostile vibe from the other climbers that escalated by the day. Turned out they cut their trip short by a week or so cos the vibe was so hostile.

It was only while driving home to Adelaide (with ther tails between their legs) that they learned that the Port Arthur killings happened during their drive up to buff.



Eduardo Slabofvic
19-Feb-2010
9:57:04 PM
My brother but f@cked Jesus and all I got was this lousy T-shirt he wiped his d!ck on.

gordoste
19-Feb-2010
10:03:43 PM
k, are you really saying that bolting stems from a desire for perfect safety?

Chuck Norris
19-Feb-2010
10:13:15 PM
Anyway I was going to say that two quotes made me laugh (spray the computer screen type of laugh) this week.

Firstly (only a light spray for ths one): M9's quip about "a non prophet organisation" made me laugh (despite myself) however it rates very highly in the joke "is so bad its good" stakes. So thanks M9 for lightening an otherwise shiity week.

Secondly and mostly cos it is so true:

">To be fair to the pussies; its one thing to nip down a canyon in marginal
>conditions with a mate when you're both fit and good, another thing entirely
>to bundle a group of numptys down it.......I mean, you just never know
>what shit they're gonna come up with (oh, I see............you have an
>allergy to ferns and crayfish which sends you into coma. Righto..........well,
>bit of a shame you forgot to mention that before we pulled the ropes.......ya
>[expletive deleted by Chockstone Moderator])

That gets the stugang big time spray on the computer screen award. First of all I laughed then I nearly cried cos it is SO true.

So thanks odh you are my hero for this week.


wallwombat
19-Feb-2010
10:55:57 PM
I agree. The "allergy to ferns and crayfish' bit go me spraying the computer screen too.

IdratherbeclimbingM9
20-Feb-2010
9:26:18 AM
+ 1 re the fern/crayfish allergy.

I'm stoked (yeah, I know, wrong thread), you had some lighter moments in your week stugang.
Re the Martin Bryant thing; that still sh!ts me, as the rabbit gun I had, was deemed illegal by the do-gooders and I handed it in. Since then brother bunny's breeding efforts have been overtaking my efforts with a bow (though I got another one this morning), and the crime rate re shooting incidents hasn't changed much... (notwithstanding they are less spectacular), - no offence meant for the bereaved out of that incident.
k
27-Feb-2010
5:08:21 PM
He who has the most toys when he dies, wins. Mister Gribble
Olbert
27-Feb-2010
7:18:13 PM
Whilst working in an underground mine my deputy pulled out this pearl, I couldnt stop myself laughing...maybe it was the way he said it:

"Jeez that's bigger then Hitlers gas bill"

Note: its an exclamation of how big something is
widewetandslippery
3-Mar-2010
1:21:57 PM
"Its beautiful,of course its beautiful-the harbour, but that isn't all of it; Sydneys the other half, and it takes both of them to ring the supremacy bell. God made the harbour and thats all right; but satan made Sydney." Mark Twain.

Long live Bungonia. Satan made the red track and lives in town.

Thanks Olbert I've now used the gas bill quote numerous times.

wallwombat
3-Mar-2010
1:45:30 PM
On 3/03/2010 widewetandslippery wrote:
>Long live Bungonia. Satan made the red track and lives in town.


If you'd ever been up the white track, you'll realise the red track was not his sole accomplishment down there.
hero
3-Mar-2010
1:47:21 PM
On 27/02/2010 k wrote:
>He who has the most toys when he dies, wins. Mister Gribble

Variations on this

He who has the most toys when he dies, still dies.

And the mounatineers version.

He who has the most toes when he dies, wins.

(courtesy of Ferret)

wallwombat
5-Mar-2010
8:45:39 PM
A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, conn a ship, design a building, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve equations, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects.

-Robert A. Heinlein

Chuck Norris
5-Mar-2010
10:56:58 PM

I may have quoted this before (apologies if I have).

There is an old russian saying:

'He who does not drink nor smoke will die a healthy man'
hero
6-Mar-2010
1:23:06 AM
While we're on possibly repeated sayings. Arab (from Lawrence Durrell's Justine)

"Life is like a cucumber, today it is your hand, tomorrow it's up your arse."

wallwombat
6-Mar-2010
3:05:45 AM
On 6/03/2010 hero wrote:

>"Life is like a cucumber, today it is your hand, tomorrow it's up your
>arse."

There goes lunch for tomorrow.
widewetandslippery
6-Mar-2010
11:39:37 AM
On 5/03/2010 stugang wrote:
>
>I may have quoted this before (apologies if I have).
>
>There is an old russian saying:
>
>'He who does not drink nor smoke will die a healthy man'

can you sell me a tshirt with that on it? i don't even smoke, cigarettes. Whats your favourite cheap vodke at present stugang, not gormet shit if you know what i mean. Volsk is much cheaper than the absolute/smiroff wank factor. Any other brands you know of?

Chuck Norris
6-Mar-2010
3:19:12 PM
You should go to aldi. Its called VODKA and it says it on the label - actually that's all it says. Handy too if you run out of petrol (you may need to dilute it though).

On the subject of russian/ukranian quotes there is one from gogol (I think) about the two national pasttimes being

"mushrooming and wifebeating" he probably just assumed drinking.

BTW I'm sitting in a bar watching a crazy storm with golfball hailstones right now. I did have shit to do today but I think I'll stay here where its safe.

wallwombat
6-Mar-2010
4:49:11 PM
Alas, Aldi stores don't sell grog in NSW.

 Page 34 of 39. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 40 | 41 to 60 | 61 to 80 | 81 to 100 | 101 to 120 | 121 to 140 | 141 to 160 | 161 to 180 | 181 to 200 | 201 to 220 | 221 to 240 | 241 to 260 | 261 to 280 | 281 to 300 | 301 to 320 | 321 to 340 | 341 to 360 | 361 to 380 | 381 to 400 | 401 to 420 | 421 to 440 | 441 to 460 | 461 to 480 | 481 to 500 | 501 to 520 | 521 to 540 | 541 to 560 | 561 to 580 | 581 to 600 | 601 to 620 | 621 to 640 | 641 to 660 | 661 to 680 | 681 to 700 | 701 to 720 | 721 to 740 | 741 to 760 | 761 to 764
There are 764 messages in this topic.

 

Home | Guide | Gallery | Tech Tips | Articles | Reviews | Dictionary | Forum | Links | About | Search
Chockstone Photography | Landscape Photography Australia | Australian Landscape Photography | Landscape Photos Australia

Please read the full disclaimer before using any information contained on these pages.



Australian Panoramic | Australian Coast | Australian Mountains | Australian Countryside | Australian Waterfalls | Australian Lakes | Australian Cities | Australian Macro | Australian Wildlife
Landscape Photo | Landscape Photography | Landscape Photography Australia | Fine Art Photography | Wilderness Photography | Nature Photo | Australian Landscape Photo | Stock Photography Australia | Landscape Photos | Panoramic Photos | Panoramic Photography Australia | Australian Landscape Photography | High Country Mountain Huts | Mothers Day Gifts | Gifts for Mothers Day | Mothers Day Gift Ideas | Ideas for Mothers Day | Wedding Gift Ideas | Christmas Gift Ideas | Fathers Day Gifts | Gifts for Fathers Day | Fathers Day Gift Ideas | Ideas for Fathers Day | Landscape Prints | Landscape Poster | Limited Edition Prints | Panoramic Photo | Buy Posters | Poster Prints