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TR - Ozymandias attempt May 2014 9-Jul-2014 At 9:26:48 PM Miguel75

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Fear and Loathing in Las Buffalos:

(Otherwise known as Mike and Mike’s slightly traumatizing adventure)

My buddy Mike and I are avid old school adventurers. Who needs fast and light when you can take way too much gear and expose yourself to untold levels of pain and suffering? Our TR’s from trips gone by; Mt Pilot, Seventh Pillar, Golgotha, Digit Dancer, Xanthene et al demonstrate a clear pattern… You name it and we’ve taken that climb to a new level of epic-ness and suffering. I’d like to think we have a special talent for it, maybe even a gift! Among our epic experiences and plans swirled an ethereal climb we’ve been talking about (in whispers) for years; Ozy direct.

I reckon Mike and I are happy to do things the hard way, sometimes even the really, really hard way because at the end of it all, we wind up having a really fun time together and a cool adventure to keep the stoke levels high until the next adventure…

Our first Ozy adventure was a great big wet adventure. It had been a very dry season and Crystal Brooke was barely flowing so the plan was to rap in via the Defender rap, with all our water and gear, fix the first two pitches Thursday night, climb to the Gledhill Bivi on Friday, topping out on Sat. On paper it sounded pretty good, easy if you will, but like all good stories (especially ours) the adventure didn’t quite work out as planned. We located the Defender rap chains about 4pm and with clear skies, prepared to rap in. While everything looked good to go I felt we should hold off on rapping until the following morning. Now some may say I’m chicken hearted, but I like to claim I’m sensitive to my environment… Either way I thought nothing of this feeling and we pushed on. Given I couldn’t shake the feeling I shared it with Mike and he backed me so we decided to stash our gear at the rap station, bivi up top and rap down in the morning.

Our plan ended up saving our bacon as the 10mm of rain forecast for Friday arrived Thursday night around 8pm and I reckon the 10mm fell in the first 5 minutes. Both Mike and I were content in our bivi bags, enjoying the pitter-patter of rain but this feeling of contentment changed when the rain became a biblical flood style storm around 9pm. Our bivi’s were excellent as far as keeping the rain out: in fact they were so good, and the water rising so fast, I started worrying we might actually become waterborne and float across the cricket pitch and into oncoming traffic. I could go on about the endless night of torrential rain keeping us both awake but to cut a long story short we ended up sitting in our Bivi’s, in the pouring rain, until about lunchtime Friday before finally calling it quits. All in all the forecast 10mm turned into almost 90mm of rain. The drive down was awesome, with waterfalls down the slabs and water across the road in points. It was a fun experience though I was secretly relieved we hadn’t drowned. The climbing we completed that weekend would have equated to about 20 vertical meters while walking the gear back and forth to the rap stations.

Ozy:1, Mike and Mike: 0

Enough about the past; lets fast-forward to our latest adventure…

Mike had recently moved to the Sunshine coast and we’d decided our next great Ozy adventure would be unveiled November 2014. After an ill-fated attempt of LGiaD (or Lord Gumtree in a Day for those not versed in climbing vernacular) I figured it would be beneficial to practice jugging so both Mike and I found suitable locations and got to work; I on the overhanging wall of 'Boogie til you Puke' at Camels Hump, Mike on the 3 storey wall of the building where he lives. I know I received some weird looks from other climber and walkers though I’d love to have seen Mike dangling from the side of his place explaining the situation to passers by… We were slowly getting stronger and yearned for a challenge and as luck would have it Mike found some free time, contacted me and so began the first portion of this epic; begging my wife for time off. I employed my usual siege tactic and within a few days had worn her down. She relented and we were set. The day of reckoning arrived, well the first day of reckoning as I still had a somewhat unimpressed wife and two kids waiting at home, but they could wait. Ozy was beckoning.

While previous adventures usually resulted in fun memories, we also made use of them as learning opportunities. While we learnt lots on the climbing side, and adapted as best we could we still had to contend with father time. Neither of us climb on Sunday and given I finished work at 8am on Thursday we had a tight schedule but we were pumped… We were committed! We made good time traveling up the Hume and all was well until we received a call from my wife, asking if we planned to eat anything for the next three days. We laughed at her silliness and confirmed we’d meticulously planned and packed our food stores. She then laughed at our silliness, reminding us our food was still in the fridge at home… We stopped laughing for a minute or two and decided we’d stop for a quick shop in Myrtleford. We arrived at the Southside hut around 3pm, had a quick rejig of gear and were off, again, on the walk down the Southside track. I’d previously walked in along this track twice so felt confident knowing where to go. I’d also walked out once before and I had vowed to never do it again…

We arrived at the base of Ozy around 5pm to find it quite wet and misty, which probably wasn’t odd given it was wet and misty on the walk down but these descriptions are for you the readers of this tale. If you’ve never done the walk into the base of Ozy, or even ‘Where Angels Fear to Tread ‘with a 30kg haul bag, protaledge or big wall rack than I’d heartily recommend you put it on your to do list. Or if you want a similar experience closer to home I’d suggest you go and lay in the driveway and have a friend back their car over you; in my mind they’d feel about the same. Mike had the ungainly portaledge to deal with which looked heinous at times and when we arrived at the base we were both more than a little tired. We dumped the gear at the little bivi site and ran up to touch the base of Ozy where we decided with the impending dark, wet rock and tired wet bodies, we’d start in the morning.

Both Mike and I were very stoked to finally be at the base of Ozy together and were looking forward to sleeping in the little bivi spot next to the brook. For those who are not familiar with said bivi spot it isn’t terrible large, or flat but it’s in a beautiful location and we were stoked! We both chatted excitedly about the upcoming festivities and were finally overcome by sleep only to be woken up in the early hours by rain, followed by more rain. We finally “woke” up to overcast drizzly conditions and though what the hell, there’s nothing else to do but climb up. Mike was a touch sore from a fall on the walk in though was stoked for pitch one. (When I say he had a fall, I mean he kinda smashed himself. He was carrying the rack and portaledge on the way down and where you have to down climb the knotted ropes Mike took a pretty nasty swinging fall. He smacked his ribs and back pretty hard though ponied up and pushed through). We rolled out of bed around 8am and made our way up to the start. Mike geared up and launched upwards through the waterfall that was the slab on P1. He moved up past the first two bolts and figured he’d break out the hooks early on. He made a move onto a BD talon hooked on a good looking edge and committed to it, moving gingerly upwards towards the next bolt. All was right in the world right up until the point Mike made a sideways move and popped the hook, taking a daisy fall on the first hanger and by the looks of things shaking a kidney loose. With both of the hard falls he’d taken I was stoked he wanted to keep going. Being a trooper he jumped straight back on the horse and launched upwards again, this time trying to free the moves.