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Friday Funnies 9-Apr-2010 At 4:40:37 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Dearie me lovely Chockstoners, isn't there a lot of serious threads about life and what not, happening on this site at the moment.
Here is something light to brighten up the day so that we don't take it all too seriously and if we get taken to task wouldn't have a leg to stand on.

Three women are at a dinner party. Their talk turns to their position in life, and it's clear that they are trying to one-up each other.

The first woman says, "My husband is taking me to the French Riviera for two weeks," and then looks at the others with a superior demeanor.

The second woman says, "Well, my husband just bought me a new Mercedes," and looks about with considerable pride.

The third woman says, "Well, to be perfectly honest with you, we don't have much money and we don't have any material possessions. But thirteen canaries can stand shoulder to shoulder on my husband's erect penis."

The first woman looks shame-faced and says, "Ladies, I've got a confession to make. I was just trying to impress you. We're not really going to the French Riviera. We're going to my parent's house for two weeks."

The second woman says, "Your honesty has shamed me. To be honest, my husband didn't buy me a Mercedes. He bought me a Ford."

"Well," the third woman says, " I also have a confession to make. Canary number thirteen has to stand on one leg."

Oh yes. I forgot that Derek my M10 love told me a good blonde joke the other day as well, so here it is for all those people who like making snap decisions.

Who Wants to be Millionaire?

A contestant, Sally, on 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?' reached the final plateau.

If she answered the next question correctly, she would win $1,000,000. If she answered incorrectly, she would go home with the $25,000 Milestone money.

And as suspected - the Million Dollar Question was no pushover.

It was, "Which of the following species of birds does not build its’ own nest; but instead lies its' eggs in the nests of other birds?
Is it:

A) the condor

B) the buzzard

C) the cuckoo, or

D) the vulture

The woman was on the spot..... She did not know the answer.

She had used up the 50/50 Lifeline and the Ask the Audience Lifeline.....

All that remained was her Phone-a-Friend Lifeline.

And, she hoped she would not have to use it because....... Her Friend was, well, a blonde.

But she had no alternative. She called her friend and gave her the question and the four choices. The blonde responded unhesitatingly:

'That's easy.... The answer is C: the cuckoo.'

The contestant had to make a decision and make it fast. She considered employing a reverse strategy and giving any answer except the one her friend gave her.

And considering her friend was a blonde; it seemed the logical thing to do..... But her friend had responded with such confidence, such certitude, that the contestant could not help but be convinced.

Crossing her fingers, the contestant said, 'C: The cuckoo.'

'Is that your final answer?'

'Yes, that is my final answer.'

'That answer is absolutely correct!

You are now a millionaire!'

Three days later, the contestant hosted a party for her family and friends, inviting, of course - the blonde who had helped her win the million dollars.
'I just don’t know how to thank you,' said the contestant. 'How did you know the right answer?'

'Oh, come on,' said the blonde 'Everybody knows that cuckoos don’t build nests. They live in clocks.'