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bumbly blues ..... 31-Mar-2004 At 4:46:13 PM Tel

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On 31/03/2004 A5iswhereitsat wrote:
>Fear while top-roped or seconding ?? Why?
>
>Don't you trust your partner, or the gear, or the set-up?

I figure if I am going to respond I may as well tell it like it is foolish as it may seem so here goes.
In terms of partners I think I have been very blessed, Phil Nev, AndyCJ, Dave123 ( all chockstoners), these guys have been nothing but supportive all the time even when I am climbing like shite. I trust them without a problem at all.
Part of the problem is that I am not a great fan of heights at all, so again under advice, I tell myself that I have a healthy respect for heights, whereas I used to say I was scareds of hieghts. This mental tactic has worked to a degree. I know the rope can hold me I know the gear is good, but in a fall I don't feel that I have much control, so its not decking out but more slamming around I think. Even when I am climbing badly I still have some measure of control, such as feet and hand placements, eg:
I had a crack at evel brew 20gr ( toproped) at camels last week, I tried to follow the same moves a phil, but I didn't quite get my feet up high enough, as a consequence I was fully extended with my hands above my head on a balancy move. Now I knew I was gonna come off, I told phil I was gonna come off, but I'd be buggered if I was able to just let go, I must have hung on to that little thumb and finger pinch for another 3 minutes. I knew I wasn't going to deck but I was no longer in control.

other things that go through my head:
It is bothersome too because I sometimes think that people will stop taking me out with them because of these things, I get annoyed at myself when I climb bad because I then feel I am slowing up the day for others, so instead of ticking a 24 they are at the top of 15 and have dialed out for a pizza whilst waiting for me to drag my arse to the top. It may sound childish, but when someone offers themselves as a partner and I then don't follow through I feel i have let them down in some regard.
I know this is a stumbling block, and being a process person if I can understand what is going on I can then work a way through it. Whilst posts like this tend to expose you a little the respones with your thoughts and opinions is what helps get the brain looking at ways to work around the problems, so a genuine thanks , with an aussie goodonyafellas for good measure.

As a finish I enjoy climbing I really like the challenges even when I am not doing well, the more I climb the more I want to climb, I am really looking forward to going to araps and I want to get some good climbs in and hopefully add a few seconds to my list ( I think it is awesome fun trying clean the route), I want to tackle some of the bouldering, and just have a great time.
cheers
terry