Chockstone Forum

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

Chockstone Photography

Australian Landscape Prints

Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User

Friday Funnies 19-Feb-2010 At 2:40:37 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

Message

Dearie me it is Friday again. Doesn't it come around quickly dearies?
Derek my M10 love has been at me to bake him some scones lately. I wonder why?

IRISH LOVE STORY.

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table, landing on his knees in rumpled posture.
His aged and withered hand trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon.

"F**k off", she said, 'they're for the funeral.'

Derek also tells me that our beloved Prime Minister has sorted yet another NZ emergency out too.

NZ EMERGENCY.

Condom factory burns down in New Zealand:

Helen Clarke, Prime Minister of New Zulland, is awoken at 4am by the telephone.

Hillen, its the hilth Munister here.. Sorry to bother you at this hour but there is an emergincy!! I've jist received word thet the Durex factory en Aucklind hes burned to the ground. It is istimated that the entire New Zulland supply of condoms will be gone by the ind of the week.

PM: Shut !! The economy wull niver be able to cope with all those unwanted babies.
W' ill be ruined.

Hilth Munister: We're going to hef to shup some in from Brutain?

PM: No chence. The Poms will have a field day on thus one.

Hilth Munister: What about Australia?

Call Kivin Rudd. Tell hum we need one million condoms, ten enches long and thri
enches thuck. That way they'll continue to respect the "all blacks".

Three days later a delighted Hillen rushes out to open the boxes that arrived at the Pist Office.

She finds one million condoms. 10 enches long, 3 enches thuck, all coloured green and gold with small writing on each one.
MADE IN AUSTRALIA - SIZE: MEDIUM

Why do the Irish use two condoms?

To be sure, to be sure!