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Friday Funnies 12-Jun-2009 At 2:30:09 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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On 12/06/2009 Mr hero wrote:
>It's f*cking cold in Natimuk today and it make me think of this joke.

It is quite cold here too dearie. Derek my M10 love went out to get the newspaper this morning and when he came back he told me he saw a dog stuck to a tree!

>One student, however, wrote the following:
>If we accept the quote given to me by Theresa Manyan during
>Freshman year, ‘’that it will be a cold night in hell before I sleep with
>you’’ and take into account the fact that I still have NOT succeeded in
>having sexual relations with her.

This is not a euphemism for an author in Nati is it dearie?

Derek tells me that fellow has been having a bad trot lately, and gave this to me to post.

On a recent trip to Tasmania a tall well known Vic guide book author, was invited to address a major gathering of the Indigineous Tribes in Hobart, due to his experiences in handling the Australian Indigineous situation at Arapilies. (No soft targets getting mugged on railway platforms here dearies).
He spoke for almost an hour on his ideas for increasing every First Nation's present standard of living and the soul aspects of applying this to a liesure lifestyle amongst Pine trees.
At the conclusion of his speech, the tribes presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Aboriginal name - Walking Eagle.
The proud author then departed with his entourage, waving to the crowd as he left.
A news reporter later asked the tribal elders how they came to select the new name given to the famous author.
They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh_t, it can no longer fly.

If you happen to see Mr he who wrote the book Mr Hero, you must tell him that it is all about friendship dearie. Why just the other day Derek bought a tear to my eye when he waxed lyrical about our love being really more like simply having a great friend. I asked him what he meant and managed to remember most of what he said, because I copied it down on a card soon after. Isn't that fortunate ! because now I can share it with you.

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I want to be involved in.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little, tiny words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will probably point and laugh at you.

9. This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'.

He reckons friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, but only you can feel it's true warmth, but I am not so sure about that.

Share the love Mr Hero. Tell this to 10 of your closest friends, but don't get depressed because you can only think of 4.

Remember: A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body. Let me know if I ever need to bring a shovel.