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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User
Friday Funnies 5-Jun-2009 At 2:54:21 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.
Message
Good afternoon lovely Chockstoners, and isn't it a pleasant afternoon at that, what with the weather improved from the last few days, and a long weekend coming up.
Take care on the roads out there if going on holidays won't you dearies?

I was told the Pope went on holydays to Victoria once.



On a tour of Australia, the Pope took a few days off to visit the Victorian coast
for some sightseeing.

He was cruising along near the beach in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic
commotion just off shore. A helpless man, swimming with an action closely resembling that of an English climber clipping rings, was struggling frantically to free himself from the jaws of an 8 metre shark. As the Pope watched in horror, a speedboat pulled up with three men wearing tradster climbing clothes in it.

One quickly fired a harpoon into the sharks side while the other two reached out and pulled the blue semiconscious sport climber from the water.
Then, using long clubs, the three beat the shark to death and hauled it into the boat.

Immediately the Pope shouted and summoned them to him.

"I give you my blessing for your brave actions. I heard that there were some bitter hatreds between traditional and sport climbers in this country, but now I have seen with my own eyes that this is not true."

As the Pope drove off, the trad harpooner asked his mates,

"Who was that?"

"It was the Pope" one replied.

"He is in direct contact with God and has access to all of God's wisdom."

"Well" the harpooner said, "he may have access to God and his wisdom, but he knows bugger all about shark fishing".

"Is the bait holding up OK or do we need to get another one?"









If fishing is not your thing on your rest days from climbing darlings, you might like the local entertainment options better?




Two chimps and a Blonde.


A blonde lady motorist was about two hours from the Gold Coast when she was flagged down by a man whose truck had broken down. The man walked up to the car and asked, 'Are you going to the Gold Coast?'
'Sure,' answered the blonde, 'do you need a lift ?'
'Not for me. I'll be spending the next three hours fixing my truck My problem is I've got two chimpanzees in the back which have to be taken to the Gold Coast Zoo. They're a bit stressed already so I don't want to keep them on the road all day. Could you possibly take them to the zoo for me ? I' ll give you $100 for your trouble..'
'I'd be happy to,' said the blonde. So the two chimpanzees were ushered into the back seat of the blonde's car and carefully strapped into their seat belts. Off they went.
Five hours later, the truck driver was driving through the heart of the Gold Coast when suddenly he was horrified!! There was the blonde walking down the street and holding hands with the two chimps, much to the amusement of a big crowd. With a screech of brakes he pulled off the road and ran over to the blonde. 'What the heck are you doing here ?' he demanded, 'I gave you $100 to take these chimpanzees to the zoo.'
'Yes, I know you did,' said the blonde,' but we had money left over --- so now we're going to SeaWorld.

There are 1236 replies to this topic.

 

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