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Friday Funnies 13-Feb-2009 At 12:29:10 PM MrsM10iswhereitsat.

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Dearie me good Chockers peoples. Arn't the recent fires down in Vic. dreadful. It just takes my breath away to hear and see of it.

Maybe the day can be lightened a little with further postings to this thread again.

Never Argue with a Woman.

One morning, a womans husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake where her husband has been angling, the wife decides to take his boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors and reads her book.

Along comes a Fishing Inspector in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Madam. May I ask what you are doing?'
'Reading a book,' she replies, (thinking, 'Isn't that obvious?')
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'For reading a book?' she replies,
'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again,
'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading'
'Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know, you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'
'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual Assault,' says the woman.
'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Fishing Inspector.
'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'
'Have a nice day madam,' and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

DUCKS IN HEAVEN!!!

Three women die together in an accident
and go to heaven..

When they get there, St. Peter says,
'We only have one rule here in heaven:
don't step on the ducks!'

So they enter heaven, and sure enough,
there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck,
and although they try their best to avoid them,
the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says,
'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to
spend eternity chained to this ugly male boulderer!'

The next day,
the second woman steps accidentally on a duck
and along comes St. Peter,
who doesn't miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly male boulderer.
He chains them together
with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and,
not wanting to be chained
for all eternity to an ugly male boulderer, is very,
VERY careful where she steps.

She manages to go months
without stepping on any ducks,
but
one day St.Peter comes up to her
with the most handsome male boulderer she has ever laid eyes on
.... very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says,
'I wonder what I did to deserve being
chained to you for all of eternity?'

The male boulderer says,
'I don't know about you,
but I stepped on a
duck.