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19-Oct-2008 8:05:38 PM
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Okay, first post every, longish time lurker.
This question isn't really climbing related cause I've just started climbing and don't have much to contribute except this question...
Why is it that boys always think that if a girl climbs with them then they're on a date? Or if you share beta at the climbing gym they're "in"?
Also, how do you get this hypothetical boy to understand that you're not interested? Obviously I don't want to be mean...
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19-Oct-2008 8:12:50 PM
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On 19/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>Also, how do you get this hypothetical boy to understand that you're not
>interested? Obviously I don't want to be mean...
climb better than him.
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19-Oct-2008 8:14:45 PM
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or dont hang out with plastic pulling rock jocks.
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19-Oct-2008 8:22:11 PM
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On 19/10/2008 foreverabumbly wrote:
>On 19/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>>Also, how do you get this hypothetical boy to understand that you're
>not
>>interested? Obviously I don't want to be mean...
>
>climb better than him.
: )
that could be hard cause I've just started climbing. I thought maybe if I'm just really unco they would move on??
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19-Oct-2008 8:28:52 PM
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On 19/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>Why is it that boys always think that if a girl climbs with them then they're on a date?
It would never occur to me to meet girls through climbing.
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19-Oct-2008 8:32:15 PM
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be tough!!! just cause they have a birds eye view of your arse if you happen to be leading doesnt mean jack!!!
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19-Oct-2008 9:09:17 PM
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1.Stop going to the gym by yourself
2.Wear a T-shirt that reads "Just because i"ll climb with you, doesn't mean i find you attractive."
3.Be Blunt. Would you put up with the unwanted attention anywhere else?
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19-Oct-2008 10:05:07 PM
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Hi noclimberboys .... I hope my advice and constructive criticism will be taken with the kind sincerity to which I intend it. Just reading your post I see communication issues as the root of the dilemma. By saying this queastion isn't realy climbing related but asking a queastion that is climbing related, there's been sent a mixed message. Then by asking why is it that boys (plural) think they're on a date but then ask how do you get this hypothetical boy (singular) to understand you're not intrested, then what are we talking about ? Is it one guy, guys in general or every climb boy you've ever met. I do get your point and I see them as valid queastions. But I feel you may be the type of gentle soul who finds it difficult setting bounderys in human dynamics. I think setting bounderys in relationships can be healthy and by providing clear communication (through your every day ineraction) I'd think the people around will understand you better. Welcome to the great sport of climbing. Stick with it and I'm sure you'll find inspiration for the soul heart and mind.
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19-Oct-2008 10:06:16 PM
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On 19/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>Why is it that boys always think that if a girl climbs with them then
>they're on a date?
Dunno that seems odd to me
>Or if you share beta at the climbing gym they're "in"?
No need to share beta on an indoor wall so tell him to suck it up and start climbing.
>Also, how do you get this hypothetical boy to understand that you're not
>interested? Obviously I don't want to be mean...
I second the point of climbing better than him, a good ego spoiler!
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19-Oct-2008 10:06:58 PM
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Are you serious?
Is he also a new climber, or are you making a mass generalisation?
because as a female climber can't say any of the boys who have belayed me, or I've belayed think that climbing is a date.
They take you out afterwards :P
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19-Oct-2008 10:43:25 PM
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Boys..... ahem...... men..... in general will think they're on a date if you asked them to go to the supermarket with them. It's just how we tick.
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19-Oct-2008 10:51:04 PM
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On 19/10/2008 stonetroll wrote:
>Hi noclimberboys .... I hope my advice and constructive criticism will
>be taken with the kind sincerity to which I intend it. Just reading your
>post I see communication issues as the root of the dilemma. By saying this
>queastion isn't realy climbing related but asking a queastion that is climbing
>related, there's been sent a mixed message. Then by asking why is it that
>boys (plural) think they're on a date but then ask how do you get this
>hypothetical boy (singular) to understand you're not intrested, then what
>are we talking about ? Is it one guy, guys in general or every climb boy
>you've ever met. I do get your point and I see them as valid queastions.
>But I feel you may be the type of gentle soul who finds it difficult setting
>bounderys in human dynamics. I think setting bounderys in relationships
>can be healthy and by providing clear communication (through your every
>day ineraction) I'd think the people around will understand you better.
>Welcome to the great sport of climbing. Stick with it and I'm sure you'll
>find inspiration for the soul heart and mind.
I think what the stony troll is trying to say is if you aren't interested tell 'em to feck off!
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19-Oct-2008 10:55:36 PM
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On 19/10/2008 simey wrote:
>On 19/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>>Why is it that boys always think that if a girl climbs with them then
>they're on a date?
>
>It would never occur to me to meet girls through climbing.
>
>
>
CRUX quote right there?
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20-Oct-2008 9:01:21 AM
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The fact that they spend all their time climbing leads to the fact their girlfriend feels second best and
leaves them.
They see you they think attractive lady, Likes climbing...That would be awesome, and give it a try.
Can't blame them really. Some times it might work.
If they are helping you out it can lead to a date like vibe. As you get more independant climbing it will
ease off.
In the mean time milk it for all you can and let them carry the rope and heavy stuff. Very soon they will
work out they aren't getting anywhere and let you carry your share. In time you will become good mates
there is just a weird settling in period.
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20-Oct-2008 10:04:07 AM
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>climb better than him.
that's not fair. what if a female climber wants to pick up and climb harder?
one should be able to do both at the same time....
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20-Oct-2008 10:12:29 AM
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Aren't boys frequently like that everywhere? Be friendly and they get their hopes up? Deal with it however you deal with it in everyday life, which hopefully is a tactful method that won't eventuate in either party running screaming from the gym ...
And climbing harder than them doesn't really work either... Women, paticularly single women, are still a minority in climbing circles, but as you find your feet as a climber and feel more comfortable/confident in the environment, you should feel more able to face these problems as you would in any other situation.
On the other hand, it makes for lots of opportunities for single women into men! And if you are into women, well, although there aren't so many, climbing does tend to attact strong and interesting women. It's a social scene like any other I guess, people are looking for the usual array of social relationships out of it. At least the men at the gym aren't drunk and obnoxious.
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20-Oct-2008 11:04:27 AM
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Haha.. I'm loving where this discussion's going already.
Good advice all round! Thanks!
I really can't climb better then him at this stage cause I'm as new as.
maybe I'll try to bring friends along next time I climb... maybe it should be a boy?
I liked that others are focused on climbing as well (simey wrote "It would never occur to me to meet girls through climbing.")
Making a T-shirt? I might get stoned though! Booed and hissed at.
Stonetroll.. I will make communicate better next time. : )
I guess climbing is such a strange situation. Where 'intimacy' can occur. Spotting in bouldering. when do you get to touch people in general situations? Climbing trips away will inevitably mean you're spending time in the car together... going food shopping! together and spending copious amounts of time in beautiful surroundings together.
Gosh, I can't see why more people aren't getting together over this sport!
PS. Women ain't my thing.. though there's nothing wrong with that ; )
And yes, climber boys are probably the cream of the crop. Would anyone disagree?
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20-Oct-2008 11:09:13 AM
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On 20/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>I liked that others are focused on climbing as well (simey wrote "It would
>never occur to me to meet girls through climbing.")
Please tell me you're not serious about using simey as an example for this
statement......!
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20-Oct-2008 11:15:28 AM
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On 20/10/2008 noclimberboys wrote:
>Haha.. I'm loving where this discussion's going already.
>
>Good advice all round! Thanks!
>
>I really can't climb better then him at this stage cause I'm as new as.
>maybe I'll try to bring friends along next time I climb... maybe it should
>be a boy?
i don't think i'd be turned off a partner who climbs harder than me. i have no qualms what or if she climbed. that'd be awesome if she did climb harder than me. =)
>I liked that others are focused on climbing as well (simey wrote "It would
>never occur to me to meet girls through climbing.")
i don't think that was a serious comment by simey if you havent quite workd it out
>Making a T-shirt? I might get stoned though! Booed and hissed at.
>Stonetroll.. I will make communicate better next time. : )
>
>I guess climbing is such a strange situation. Where 'intimacy' can occur.
>Spotting in bouldering. when do you get to touch people in general situations?
>Climbing trips away will inevitably mean you're spending time in the car
>together... going food shopping! together and spending copious amounts
>of time in beautiful surroundings together.
>
>Gosh, I can't see why more people aren't getting together over this sport!
>
>PS. Women ain't my thing.. though there's nothing wrong with that ; )
>And yes, climber boys are probably the cream of the crop. Would anyone
>disagree?
>
and like someone else posted, just tell them. climbing may expose yo uto different situations and environments but at the end of the day a rope or group of climbers is not different to any other human relationship/dynamic
dont let this put you off climbing or only climbing with girls. climb with whoever and whenever you want.
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20-Oct-2008 11:42:51 AM
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>>I really can't climb better then him at this stage cause I'm as new as.
>>maybe I'll try to bring friends along next time I climb... maybe it should
>>be a boy?
bring some fit athletic "stud" then comment all the time on how good he looks climbing... original boy will get the hint... lol
>i don't think i'd be turned off a partner who climbs harder than me. i
>have no qualms what or if she climbed. that'd be awesome if she did climb
>harder than me. =)
the mrs can put the draws on ur project - ultimate girlfriend!
>>I liked that others are focused on climbing as well (simey wrote "It
>would
>>never occur to me to meet girls through climbing.")
>
>i don't think that was a serious comment by simey if you havent quite
>workd it out
>
>
>>Making a T-shirt? I might get stoned though! Booed and hissed at.
>>Stonetroll.. I will make communicate better next time. : )
>>
>>I guess climbing is such a strange situation. Where 'intimacy' can occur.
>>Spotting in bouldering. when do you get to touch people in general situations?
>>Climbing trips away will inevitably mean you're spending time in the
>car
>>together... going food shopping! together and spending copious amounts
>>of time in beautiful surroundings together.
>>
and for the next installment... "how to get your non climbing girlfriend to understand that going to the grampians for 4 days with ur female climbing parter does NOT mean you are sleeping together..."
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