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General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User
Climbing on TV 21-Feb-2008 At 5:01:47 PM oweng
On 21/02/2008 Eduardo Slabofvic wrote:

>I’ve been hired as the script writer for this new film, and am looking
>for assistance with the script. So
>here’s what I’ve got so far. Feel free to add to it.
>The film starts with some stick insect, who’s sponsored by a celery stick
>distributor, dogging the bejesus
>…I mean…sport climbing the now completely retrobolted line. Only to find
>that ‘ol Sly was a cheapie and
>loaded his gun with mild steel bolts, so they are now all rusty pieces
>of rubbish. The stick insect slumps
>….I mean….plummets off, but the bolts fail to hold even his spindly weight,
>and he goes the full distance,
>dropping a massive 4m to the ground. Where upon he sustains a horrid smear
>of dirt on his T-shirt, thus
>spoiling the contrast of colour against the rock, much to the disgust
>of the photographer, who storms off in
>a huff.
>Sticky then swears revenge on Sly for being such a cheapskate, and plots
>evil revenge.
>Cut to the Natimuk Lawn Bowls Club, where Sly is pushing out a set of
>dips on his Zimmer Frame.
>Roughly tied head band blowing in the gentle breeze.
>It comes to be his turn to bowl, so he get off the Zimmer Frame and walks
>over towards the green,
>pausing just before he steps up from the cement path onto the curtilage
>of the green, he turns to his
>companions. A close up of his sweat streaked face, teeth clenched in
>dogmatic determination, “Watch
>me”, he says.

A quartet of bowles already surround the jack, like Simon Mentz groupies at a book signing. But degree of difficulty has never pressured Sly before. It was time for action. "SKIPPER - INCOMMMMMMMMMMING" be bellowed. He launched his bowl and stepped back to watch the inevitable destruction. Suddenly the endorphine rush of impending victory was replaced by cold clammy fear. A flat bed truck covered in dust appeared barreling around the corner heading towards the green, a blond girl 50 years his junior standing in the tray clinging to the roofrack. "Sly, come quick, there is trouble at the Mountain!". He spat contemtuously and reached for his zimmer. Trouble at the mountain again. He'd learned from bitter experience that it could only be one of two things, sports climbers with dogs, or sports climbers without dogs. Either way, he'd have to postpone his retirement........again.

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