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Grid bolting at Windjammer Pt Perp 4-Dec-2014 At 3:32:55 PM timtom

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Ok. I got it here all figured out. Beginning to end.
This is TimTom fourtwobeer pre ching.
Lets call me pot. I am righteous and holy. Im a climber(sort of, well, not realy) and I go down one of the back cliffs one day to suss out a root- for fame, fortune and glory. What I find is that the place has been riddled with bolts-a very nice place, lovely in fact. As I am a bit attracted to this place (now that eye has seen It), and because I am holy and righteuos with God comes to me and says' O boy what have you done? Immediately I say it wasn't me but one of my brothers(heres the accusation). Then, knowing that I am a cursed being involved as I am with these inferior animals who have effectively sioled my clothes, I also curse, so that the hole place is accused and accursed.
After a long time of fighting and kiiling each other, and when the wole place lies , shattered and desolate, I get up and say "well f--- It, you can have your bolt riddled piece of dirt, Im going'. and I storm off giving and receiving the eternal salutation of the anti Christ.
After trudging thro the wilderness for 40 days Im exhausted, sun scorched and battered, and upon finding a nice big Radiata pine I lie down and fall asleep hoping that I might never again wake up. But God had different plans. He came to me in my sleep and said 'mate, I have got what you need for everlasting peace and joy but I cannot give it to you. However your offspring will receive the gifts. Your offspring shall be called Hope, Charity and faith.
When I woke up three and a half days later under the pine, I was immediately hit on the head by a falling pine cone. The c--kapoos were up the tree munching on its head, sending, sending them down like missiles and giving off loud shreiks of laughter. I forgave the pooc--kers and tried too remember what I had dreamt but the fine cone waked me good and proper and all I could remember was vague allusions to a foul spring witl Dope, Chastity, Filth and a golden bolt ring.
Not to be continued
TimTom