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General Climbing Discussion

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Tips, tricks & jiggery pokery in the climbing game 4-Oct-2011 At 9:02:00 PM Cool Hand Lock

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1. When trying to send a new route. Arrange a time for your mates to come along and try. Get a different mate to go with you a little bit early and when the others turn up say "I already sent it".

2. Be a pussy. Put in dog bolts.

3. Dog on some other fags dog bolts.

4. Top rope the shit out of a route. Do a crappy job on bolting it. Then lead it and tell everyone how ace and extreeme you are.

5. Bolt someone elses trad line. With a slight variation. And write up a new route.

6. Buy every climbing DVD eva, buy 400 frozen pizzas. Tell everyone your going to Yosemite for 2 months. Sit in blacked out lounge and watch other people hurting themselves. Then tell everyone how awsome Yosemite was and you were. But some f---er stole your cammera.

7. Buy a rack. Leave it in some dirt. Remove after 20 years. Tell all the young climbers how it was back in your day. When you were cranking. How you "floated it". "You must remember to Levitate"

8. Ask if your still good looking.

9. Marry a formerly good climber. Live off their reputation.

10. Make out with some hairy lipped Tasmainian for a month and claim you were in Yosemite.

11. Put up a new line. Aid the hard moves and tell everybody that's how it was done back in your day. Even when others were cranking 8 grades harder clean in your day.

12. Crap on about it on chockstone.