Chockstone Forum

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

Chockstone Photography

Australian Landscape Prints

Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User

Friday Funnies 20-May-2011 At 10:26:45 PM ClimbingNT

Message

A couple of one liners....

My neighbour knocked on my door at 2:30am this morning, can you believe

that 2:30am?! Luckily for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.

I sat on the train this morning opposite a stunning Thai girl. I kept

thinking to myself, please don't get an erection, please don't get an

erection...but she did

Paddy says "Mick, I'm thinking of buying a Labrador.""f*ck that" says

Mick" have you seen how many of their owners go blind"

Man calls 999 and says "I think my wife is dead" The operator says how do

you know? He says "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!

I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the

biggest p*nis she had ever laid her hands on. I said "You're pulling my

leg"

I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!! At least I presume she

was poor - she only had $1.20 in her purse.

My girlfriend thinks that I'm a stalker. Well, she's not exactly my

girlfriend yet.

I woke up last night to find the ghost of Gloria Gaynor standing at the

foot of my bed. At first I was afraid.......then I was petrified.

Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine

until he stuck his index finger up my arse! Do you think I should change

dentists?

A wife says to her husband you're always pushing me around and talking

behind my back. He says what do you expect? You're in a wheel chair.

I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get

reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said I would

like to come back as a cow. I said your obviously not f--k--g listening.

The wife has been missing a week now. Police said to prepare for the

worst. So I have been to the charity shop to get all her clothes back.