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Author

Friday Funnies

daave

4-Feb-2011
7:22:14 AM

A shirtless, beanied boulder and a bearded, scraggly aid climber in NZ, were walking along the access trail to a crag. With the weather perfect for any form of climbing, the pair stumbled across a sheep with its head stuck firmly in a wire fence.

Now, the quick thinking boulder thought to himself “Holy moly, Christmas has come early this year” and proceeded to take advantage of the sheep as his focus on bouldering had left him without the fitness to actually catch a sheep for himself.

As the baahing came to an end, the boulder zipped up his jeans, turned to the aid climber and asked, “I’m finished with it mate, sure you don’t want to get yourself some of that?”

The aid climber, looking excited, nodded, knelt down and stuck his head through the wire fence...

widewetandslippery

4-Feb-2011
3:25:04 PM

that is funny


pmonks

6-Feb-2011
1:23:50 PM

The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here".
A time traveler walks into a bar.


IdratherbeclimbingM9

6-Feb-2011
8:33:24 PM

On 4/02/2011 ww&s wrote:
>that is funny

~> Agreed, in a weird sort of way!

On 6/02/2011 pmonks wrote:
>The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here".
>A time traveler walks into a bar.

AWESOMELY obtuse pm!
Heh, heh, heh.


freesolo

6-Feb-2011
11:06:25 PM

from obtuse to zen:

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "What'll you have?"


ajfclark

7-Feb-2011
7:06:12 AM

If a tree falls in a forest and it hits a mime, does the mime make a sound?


kuu

7-Feb-2011
8:50:49 AM

On 7/02/2011 ajfclark wrote:
>If a tree falls in a forest and it hits a mime, does the mime make a sound?

Yes, a dull thus when their body hits the ground.

Godless

10-Feb-2011
4:31:25 PM

a dull 'thus'

another quite surreal joke

but the best jokes are over on the jesus thread

but just to lighten the day

Simey enters a bar carrying an alligator. Says to the patrons, "Here’s a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. The gator will close his mouth for one minute, then open it, and I'll remove my unit unscathed. If it works, everyone buys me drinks." The crowd agrees. He drops his pants and puts his privates in the gator's mouth. Gator closes mouth. After a minute, he grabs a beer bottle and bangs the gator on the top of its head. The gator opens wide, and he removes his genitals unscathed. Everyone buys him drinks. Then he says: "I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try." After a while, a hand goes up in the back of the bar. It's Eduardo. "I'll give it a try," he says, "but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle."


Eduardo Slabofvic

10-Feb-2011
10:37:55 PM

On 10/02/2011 Godless wrote:
>a dull 'thus'
>

A bar goes into Godless ............


kuu

11-Feb-2011
12:19:19 AM

On 7/02/2011 kuu wrote:
>
>Yes, a dull thus when their body hits the ground.

Sorry, keystroke error. I meant to write 'thud'.

It makes more sense if written thus.


sbm

11-Feb-2011
11:28:59 AM

TYPES OF CLIMBER:

martym

11-Feb-2011
10:42:13 PM

On 11/02/2011 davidn wrote:
>And 9 mm ropes are frickin huge for a sport climber, arent they?

Really? Most sport climbers bawk at me using a single strand of double rope; they're about 8.6mm

daave

11-Feb-2011
11:30:22 PM

So it's still friday yes? Excellent

Here's a little song for our all time favourite Chockstoner...One day Hero...

http://gobarbra.com/hit/new-1ec454b2f0b91d5425fa7967c350eaf1


salty crag

12-Feb-2011
9:29:28 AM

Shit! already got the tune stuck in my head, gonna be a long day


pmonks

12-Feb-2011
9:35:48 AM

A man walked into a bar.
He was vision impaired.


IdratherbeclimbingM9

12-Feb-2011
9:47:22 AM

... cue, sound of one hand clapping?
_{Heh, heh, heh.}


ajfclark

12-Feb-2011
2:13:24 PM

hahahaha How'd I miss that yesterday?


freesolo

12-Feb-2011
7:45:38 PM

a woman walked into a bar. the men did not stop watching footie.


Gavo

25-Feb-2011
11:40:22 AM

http://www.bond-diamonds.com/fark/index_files/China3.jpg


Gavo

25-Feb-2011
11:42:34 AM

100 things learnt from experience

http://www.ukclimbing.com/articles/page.php?id=37

Page 38 of 62.

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