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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

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Author
Friday Funnies

Zarb
31-Aug-2012
8:30:00 PM
On 31/08/2012 widewetandslippery wrote:
>I am on the train at this moment heading for some nocturnal aid climbing
>on chossm
>
>Catholic priest joke: what's the best thing about doing a six year old
>girl?
>
>Turning her over and pretending its a six year old boy.


Another one:

Q: What are the similarities between the Bible and a penis?
A: They are both rammed down young children's throats by priests.

Eduardo Slabofvic
1-Sep-2012
1:02:47 PM
On 31/08/2012 widewetandslippery wrote:
>
>Catholic priest joke:

Q: What the best thing about having sex with twenty six year olds?

A: There's twenty of them.

Eduardo Slabofvic
1-Sep-2012
1:15:16 PM
On 17/08/2012 MrsM10iswhereitsat! wrote:
>
>50 Shades of Grey - Horsham Style.
>

This woman must be get around a bit, as she was in the dole office for an interview and the dole officer asked, "How many children do you have?"

"Seven", she replied.

The dole officer sighed, and asked, "What are their names?"

"Dwayne", she replied.

"Dwayne! They're all called Dwayne?", he inquired incredulously.

"Yeah", she says, "It really handy. I just have to yell, DWAYNE! Stop doing that, and then one of them might stop doing what ever it he's doing; or I say, DWAYNE, bring me my Hillbillies. The one of them might bring them over."

"But what do you do if you want to speak a specific child?", asks the dole officer.

"Oh that's easy", she says, "I just call them by their last name".

Zarb
1-Sep-2012
3:54:52 PM
On 1/09/2012 Cliff D wrote:
>On 1/09/2012 Eduardo Slabofvic. wrote:
>>On 31/08/2012 widewetandslippery wrote:
>>>
>>>Catholic priest joke:
>>
>>What the best thing about having sex with twenty X year olds?
>>What's the best thing about doing a X year old girl?
>
>Hey Ed and WWS. Is this/are you guys for real?
>How are these "Catholic priest jokes"? Catholic priests are not mentioned
>in either joke. Six year-old children are though, so they are pedophile
>jokes. I'm new to Chocky... are pedophile comments suitable/usual? I hope
>not. Is it open slather for content, as long as you don't use offensive
>language, or attack other posters?


Yes. Pedophile jokes are encouraged. It's actually on the forum rules thread.

"5.1.1c: Make as many pedophilia jokes as possible".
One Day Hero
1-Sep-2012
4:00:33 PM
On 1/09/2012 Cliff D wrote:

>How are these "Catholic priest jokes"?
>Six year-old children are though, so they are pedophile
>jokes.

Can you tell us a joke in the former category which doesn't also fit into the latter?
widewetandslippery
1-Sep-2012
4:03:43 PM
cliff having personal experience with paedofiles I am not going to appologise. I will appologise for the catholic comemnt.

Cliff get a sense of humor.

Zarb
1-Sep-2012
4:25:44 PM
On 1/09/2012 Cliff D wrote:
>On 1/09/2012 Zarb wrote:
>
>>Yes. Pedophile jokes are encouraged. It's actually on the forum rules
>thread.
>>"5.1.1c: Make as many pedophilia jokes as possible".
>
>Sad Alon...
>
>


I would have thought that by me making light of the situation that would make me not very sad at all. Lighten up.
dalai
1-Sep-2012
4:46:19 PM
Is it though a topic that should be made light of the situation?

Paedophilia is the sad destruction of a childs innocence by adults.
One Day Hero
1-Sep-2012
6:31:05 PM
On 1/09/2012 dalai wrote:
>Is it though a topic that should be made light of the situation?
>
It's like the holocaust or George Bush. Making a joke about something doesn't mean you find it any less atrocious.
dalai
1-Sep-2012
6:58:47 PM
On 1/09/2012 One Day Hero wrote:
>It's like the holocaust or George Bush. Making a joke about something
>doesn't mean you find it any less atrocious.

Can't recall hearing any jokes involving the holocaust.

Not saying any of the above posters don't find paedophilia atrocious, just questioning the value of posting paedophile 'jokes'? I think far more children have been impacted by this than the stats would suggest...

Duang Daunk
1-Sep-2012
7:44:57 PM
If widewetandslippery posts pedo jokes and he has by admission a greater dealing of same, then is it not a form of retribution on them?

cliffy needs lighten up, cos this is probably the only part of chocky that is half leniant for content.

no one can help the fact that the media has exposed the outrageous number of pedos in the catholic profesion.

Duang Daunk
1-Sep-2012
8:40:38 PM
On 1/09/2012 Cliff D wrote:
>On 1/09/2012 Duang Daunk wrote:
>>If widewetandslippery posts pedo jokes and he has by admission a greater
>dealing of same, then is it not a form of retribution on them?
>
>Hey Jamian. I couldn't decypher what you wanted to express when you typed
>"admission a greater dealing of same, then is it not a form of retribution
>on them?"

them=pedos
>
>>cliffy needs lighten up, cos this is probably the only part of chocky
>that is half leniant for content.
>
>This is simply untrue. There are heaps of tawdry/"out there" posts in
>other forums. And, your argument sucks. Even if the jokes forum were the
>most "lenient" forum, it doesn't necessarily follow that "anything goes"
>in it.
>
Have you read the many pages of jokes it contains? bet you find more tawdry stuff there than anywhere else on chuckstones.

>>no one can help the fact that the media has exposed the outrageous number
>of pedos in the catholic profesion.
>
>Yes, this is true. Its very sad to think that these people in positions
>of authority violate the most vulnerable. I'm unsure what this has to do
>with whether it is appropriate to post "jokes" about having sex with 6
>year olds. Maybe if you had a six year old daughter it would be different...
>maybe not.
>
>I have little doubt that the posters are against pedophilia, I just think
>that the topic warrants greater sensitivity.

What do you call sensitivity? Never raising the issue even in derogatory fun against the perps?

White Trash
1-Sep-2012
9:17:03 PM
On 1/09/2012 Cliff D wrote:
>How are these "Catholic priest jokes"?
and
>sensitivity

Feeling left out?
Ur not a catholic priest RU by any chance?
One Day Hero
1-Sep-2012
9:40:58 PM
On 1/09/2012 Cliff D wrote:
>
>I'm unsure what this has to do
>with whether it is appropriate to post "jokes" about having sex with 6
>year olds. Maybe if you had a six year old daughter it would be different...
>maybe not.
>
Eduardo's joke is fuching brilliant, structurally speaking. It requires a truly taboo subject in order to work......it could be about the holocaust or whatever and still have the same impact, but you'd have to find a suitable play on words which could set it up.

But that's beside the point Cliff. Look, almost everyone has a "too far" when it comes to humour. I'm sure there's stuff that you laugh at which would disgust your granny.........and yet you still find it funny. This is the same deal, except in this instance you're playing the role of granny. Why stop at pulling jokes which offend you, or even the majority of members? You could ban anything which is too raunchy for the most comedically conservative person on the forum (probably kieranl)......and then all we'd be left with is puns, word play, and the most dire of grandad jokes. Censorship in the name of taste? Thanks, but no thanks.

Eduardo Slabofvic
1-Sep-2012
11:05:02 PM
I'm offended by rank conservatism

.....damn there a fair bit of that around

ajfclark
2-Sep-2012
9:14:34 AM
Not a holocaust joke, but I've been told these slippers automatically open French doors:


MrsM10iswhereitsat.
7-Sep-2012
4:02:57 PM
Good afternoon Chockstone lovelies.
I pointed out the topic of the week to Derek my M10 love; you know, the one about rope protectors and gem collecting; but I can't tell you what he said to me after reading it due not very suitable for printing. Needless to say I won't be so helpful about pointing out unusual gems for him in the future.
He reckons the following joke is about as close as he ever wants to come to those kind of gems.






What it is.

A man is driving along a very rough road in Tibet and breaks down near a Buddhist monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?




The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound; a sound like no other that he has ever heard. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, We can't tell you because you're not a monk.



The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery.



The monks again accept him, feed him, and even fix his car..



That night, he hears the same strange mesmerizing sound that he had heard years earlier.




The next morning, he asks what the sound was, but the monks reply,

We can't tell you because you're not a monk.




The man says, all right, all right.. I'm dying to know.

If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?




The monks reply, you must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.





The man sets about his task. Some forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, I have travelled the earth and devoted my life to the task demanded and have found what you had asked for.. There are 371,145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.




The monks reply, congratulations, you are correct, and you are now accepted as one of us.

We shall now show you the way to the sound.




The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, the sound is behind that door..





The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He asks, May I have the key ?




The monks give him the key, and he opens the door.




Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone.... The man requests the key to the stone door.





The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. And so it went on until the man had gone through doors of emerald,...




....silver, topaz, and amethyst.




Finally, the monks say, This is the key to the last door .....












The man is relieved to be at the end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is astonished to find the source of that strange sound. It is truly an amazing and unbelievable sight.

















..... But I can't tell you what it is because you're not a monk.

widewetandslippery
7-Sep-2012
5:19:16 PM
in due respect Mrs10 that was poor.

I am working on an offensive joke I will pm it to you to help with maximum offense soon

Macciza
7-Sep-2012
5:25:11 PM
A young child watches a climbing documentary, totally enthralled by the climbing lifestyle . . .
The child turns to the parent and proudly says 'When I grow up, I am going to be a rock climber!'
The parent looks down apologetically and replies " Sorry dear, but you can't do both . . ."

shortman
7-Sep-2012
5:25:15 PM
Gold! Loved it!

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