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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Author
the tl;dr guide to crags

Superstu
18-Jun-2014
10:40:31 AM
Inspired by a popular post on quora ( http://www.quora.com/TL-DR/Whats-the-tl-dr-of-different-countries-entire-history warning: wants login) can you summarise your favourite crag for people with short attention spans who struggle with lengthy guidebook introductory notes?



Blue Mountains:
Boulder problem, crimp, crimp, reach problem, crimp, crimp, chains.

Sydney Climbing:
Boulder problem, crimp, chains.

Buffalo:
Smear, fiddly carrot, smear, fiddly carrot, smear, fiddly carrot, smear, top out and hug snow gum.

Moonarie:
Where is everybody?



meinmuk
18-Jun-2014
11:04:18 AM
Frog Buttress:
2 versions:
(Visitor) crimp, layback, crimp, layback, cry, plug gear in crack, crimp, layback, crimp, top out.
(Local) jamB, grunt, jamB, sweat, jamB, top out


Kangaroo Point:
Spray, ponce about, reach, step up, reach, step up, chains, spray, ponce about.

Superstu
18-Jun-2014
11:21:43 AM
Point Perpendicular:
Climb on frightening rock so you can chance seeing whales.

ajfclark
18-Jun-2014
12:27:35 PM
Coolum:
v1 move, knee bar, v2 move, knee bar, v3 move, double knee bar...
martym
18-Jun-2014
12:52:56 PM
This would kinda work for Mikl's Bunny Bucket thread..

Get up early, drive, stop for coffee, drive some more, park, rack up, walk, get lost, walk back, walk, scramble, abseil, asbeil again, bush bash, rock-paper-scissors, thrutch through the crux on the first move, moderate climbing for 3 pitches, bush bash and scramble, have lunch, climb through roof (turn left!), shout to belayer who can't hear you because of said roof, rope drag, climb on dinner plates for 70m, get caught out in the dark................
Tris
18-Jun-2014
12:53:47 PM
Arapiles Bouldering ?
Squeeze, slip, wriggle wriggle wriggle, wriggle wriggle wriggle, wriggle wriggle, wriggle, scream, shiver, glug, wriggle, squeeze, shiver, burn.
Dave_S
18-Jun-2014
2:13:46 PM
Arapiles, or specifically, The Pines: Get up at crack of dawn, wake up everyone else with the clinking of your hexes, walk face-first into a slackline.
martym
18-Jun-2014
2:36:00 PM
On 18/06/2014 Dave_S wrote:
>Arapiles, or specifically, The Pines: Get up at crack of dawn, wake up
>everyone else with the clinking of your hexes, walk face-first into a slackline.

Arapiles toilet block, rush out of tent, jump, misjudge height of slackline, land face first in dirt and tree roots, dust self off, check not too many people are staring, casually jog to the toilet block, hold breath, conduct business...

sbm
18-Jun-2014
4:00:37 PM
Sydney sea cliffs: jump fence, descend rotting fisherman's ladder past dumped garbage and storm water runoff, grungy wet holds, bad bolt, general fear, sandy salty holds, bad bolt, really sandy crumbling blocks, general terror, top out in manicued park with chai latte sipping joggers, everything is covered in sand, salt, birdshit, and thorns from invasive weeds and your partner decides never to climb there again.

sbm
18-Jun-2014
4:23:53 PM
I'm almost disappointed we found an almost scenic way in to Rosa Gully, that doesn't involve scrambling over a pile of rubbish using 5mm hardware store rope tied to a twig, as fast as possible to avoid splash back from the stormwater drain above.

Nowra, beginners version: spend an hour paddling across Shoalhaven from ski park and getting lost, bicycle the smears when the jugs aren't close enough together on tope rope at the Descent Gully walls, dog Vanderholics, sun has set already so get lift back with experienced friend who drove.

Nowra, hardcore version. Park in suburban street, descend to dank dusty grotto, put on beanie, heinous undercling power move, sloping break, desperate clip, crimp, sloper, fall off clipping rusty chains from desperate hold, complain about conditions, make lewd joke about route name, fall off five more times.

pmonks
19-Jun-2014
2:04:39 AM
Yosemite (day one): j1zz pants driving in, get lost trying to find parking lot for chosen "mega classic" route, find parking lot, walk through prickly untracked manzanita scrub for half a mile while being eaten alive by mosquitos (attacted to j1zzpants), discover actual parking lot for route, notice 25 cars with climbing brand stickers in windows - don't think much of it, follow 10 foot wide trail for 100 yards directly to base of route, discover 37 parties queued up at base of grungy, loose, moss covered blocks, wait for 3 hours for queue to clear, while watching all manner of bumbly epics (and that's just while gearing up!), sun sets, bail to Degnan's for nasty pizza dinner.

Yosemite (day two): wake up at 3am, shout at partner when s/he wastes time by attempting to eat breakfast, drive at 100MPH to (correct) parking lot, notice 3 cars with climbing brand stickers in the windows - panic, grab gear and sprint down trail - don't notice you've left your right climbing shoe behind, discover 2 parties on the route and 1 party queued at base, time check: 3:15am, start racking up, discover missing shoe, spend 30 minutes walking up and down trail trying to find shoe, lose place in queue (go to the back), wait, wait some more, time check: 8:30am, finally start up grungy, loose, moss covered blocks, climb two pitches of that wondering whether seppos don't understand "mega classic" (or English at all, for that matter), reach "money" pitch 3 - a 50m 5.8 offwidth, spend 20 minutes trying to get off belay ledge, spend 2 hours french freeing the pitch with only one cam that fits, curse Yosemite sandbag grading, curse granite offwidths, get sunstroke belaying second as s/he epics up the pitch without the benefit of the "thank god" cam, bail by abseiling over the 22 angry parties blocked up behind you, vomit, take 45 minutes to crawl the 100 yards back to the car, swear never to go near Yosemite ever again.

Superstu
19-Jun-2014
8:26:25 AM
You forgot the bit about the way honed smartarse young kid from the bay area who solos over the top of you wearing nothing but raybans, boardshorts and five-tennie approach shoes....



Dr Creep
19-Jun-2014
8:30:34 AM
Go in winter not summer you egg.

[Moderator edit: Dr Creep user-id has been disabled].

phillipivan
19-Jun-2014
6:55:19 PM
On 18/06/2014 Superstu wrote:
>
>Buffalo:
>Smear, fiddly carrot, smear, fiddly carrot, smear, fiddly carrot, smear,
>top out and hug snow gum.


Bollocks. The only routes with bolts that close together aren't equipped with fiddly carrots. Or carrots at all.
martym
19-Jun-2014
7:56:11 PM
On 19/06/2014 pmonks wrote:
>Yosemite (day one): j1zz pants driving in, get lost trying to find parking
>lot for chosen "mega classic" route, find parking lot, walk through prickly
>untracked manzanita scrub for half a mile while being eaten alive by mosquitos
>(attacted to j1zzpants), discover actual parking lot for route, notice
>25 cars with climbing brand stickers in windows - don't think much of it,
>follow 10 foot wide trail for 100 yards directly to base of route, discover
>37 parties queued up at base of grungy, loose, moss covered blocks, wait
>for 3 hours for queue to clear, while watching all manner of bumbly epics
>(and that's just while gearing up!), sun sets, bail to Degnan's for nasty
>pizza dinner.
>
>Yosemite (day two): wake up at 3am, shout at partner when s/he wastes
>time by attempting to eat breakfast, drive at 100MPH to (correct) parking
>lot, notice 3 cars with climbing brand stickers in the windows - panic,
>grab gear and sprint down trail - don't notice you've left your right climbing
>shoe behind, discover 2 parties on the route and 1 party queued at base,
>time check: 3:15am, start racking up, discover missing shoe, spend 30 minutes
>walking up and down trail trying to find shoe, lose place in queue (go
>to the back), wait, wait some more, time check: 8:30am, finally start up
>grungy, loose, moss covered blocks, climb two pitches of that wondering
>whether seppos don't understand "mega classic" (or English at all, for
>that matter), reach "money" pitch 3 - a 50m 5.8 offwidth, spend 20 minutes
>trying to get off belay ledge, spend 2 hours french freeing the pitch with
>only one cam that fits, curse Yosemite sandbag grading, curse granite offwidths,
>get sunstroke belaying second as s/he epics up the pitch without the benefit
>of the "thank god" cam, bail by abseiling over the 22 angry parties blocked
>up behind you, vomit, take 45 minutes to crawl the 100 yards back to the
>car, swear never to go near Yosemite ever again.

tl;dr

gordoste
19-Jun-2014
9:07:25 PM
On 18/06/2014 Superstu wrote:
>Point Perpendicular:
>Climb on frightening rock so you can chance seeing whales.

Haiku-esque (as of right now, that's a word)

gordoste
19-Jun-2014
9:11:37 PM
Buffalo: Spend 90% of your time trying to find the climb, or discussing the best way to make tape gloves, or complaining about the lack of decent holds. When you actually manage to climb something, it seems like a miracle...

There are 17 messages in this topic.

 

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