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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

Topic Date User
Friday Funnies Friday, 28 August 2009 At 6:48:34 PM otmab
Message
Different characters on Chockstone (some also exist on other sites).



- 'The Legend'
Been in the climbing world for at least 20 years, and is (or was) famous for something related to
climbing. Doesn't generally say much, but when he/she does post, is roundly congratulated for their
input by wannabes.

- 'The Sleezebag'
If the opposite sex asks a question, or needs help with anything whatsoever, the Sleezebag will step
in with authoritative advice - no matter how ridiculous the question, obvious the answer, illogical the
original proposition, or clear that the 'Target' should be perfectly capable of helping themselves (within
seconds if the Target is perceived to be available and naive). In contrast, If a person of the same sex
as the Sleezebag asks a similar question, the Sleezebag becomes 'The Wanker'.

- 'The Pedant'
Hijacks any thread that contains a post with spelling, capitalisation, hyphenation, or grammatical
errors. If no posts in the thread contain such errors, becomes the 'Rat's Ass'.

- 'Rat's Ass'
Though the Rat's Ass is usually a frequent poster, most of his/her posts can be summarised thus -
'Who gives a f**k about this bulls**t?' To emphasise how much time we're all wasting time posting to
the thread, the Rat's Ass will post carefully selected images (usually as attachments, but sometimes
as meticulously crafted ASCII art).

- 'The Factoid'
Posts a hell of a lot, mostly information - i.e. doesn't like to throw opinions into the ring. Likes to post
links to other sites, links back to Chockstone itself, jokes, news items, pictures.... may know 'secret'
formatting mark-up to make posts look cool.

- 'Trad Nazi'
Without exception, bolts are bad, and bolters are a blight on the human race. Existing bolts should be
chopped on a vigilante basis. If not for any other reason, this should be done out of spite for the
anklet-wearing Pansies that hammered 'em in. Safety? Bulls**t - if you don't feel safe, why are you
climbing there? And by the way, harden the f**k up.

- 'The Unintelligible'
No one can understand this person. Their lack of attention to spelling and grammar is so absolute that
the Pedants are overwhelmed. Only if the post contains expletives and references to other
Chockstoners is it possible to eke some meaning out of what an Unintelligible has said.

- 'The Tourist'
Doesn't know anything about Chockstone or, indeed, much about climbing in Australia. Either needs a
lift somewhere, or wishes to express disappointment with respect to our grading system. If English,
and scorned, the Tourist will invoke his superior mastery of the language (and perceived superiority in
logical debate). If American, the Tourist will usually be Unintelligible.

- 'The Wanker'
A bitter pill, the Wanker is a grumpy fellow. He'll disagree aggressively and rudely with a post, and
then proceed to regurgitate it's ideas in his own words. Never more satisfied than when he cuts the
Newbies down to size, he likes to use swearword substitutes (f**k etc) to emphasise a point. It's
better to be feared than loved (i.e. The Wanker was bullied at school).

- 'The Troll'
In theory, the Troll loves to bait the other tribes. In practice, he or she is more often a Wanker, who
later realises the idiocy of a previous post. In an attempt to salvage a modicum of respect from other
Chockstoners, the Troll later claims (or agrees) that they were just Trolling. This pattern of behaviour
is celebrated, and everyone has a good laugh.

- 'EAIBM' (Everyone's an Idiot But Me)
More of a temporary trait than a tribe, an EAIBMs are so passionate about an issue, that they're
unable to accept that there may be more than one valid point of view. Out of sheer frustration, an
EAIBM will exclaim 'Idiot! / You idiot! / What an idiot! / Who is this idiot?', and for the remainder of
thread will become a Rat's Ass.

- 'Town Cynic'
By dint of also being a Legend, Wanker, or Rat's Ass (or all of he above), the Town Cynic doesn't
contribute much to the thought of an ongoing thread, other than to reinforce his own ego. He or she
will tend to post at the 'meta' level - i.e. about the thread itself, or about the characters on the thread
(or Chockstone in general). He/She is also extremely sceptical about organisation, politics, hope, and
changing anything in the climbing world, other than by vigilantism The Town Cynic is subject to
extreme flashes of EAIBM, and may be on anti-depressants.

- 'Newbie'
Though the Newbie may have lurked for months, or even more than a year, he/she will make a
complete ass of him/her self when posting the first few times, much to the delight of the Wankers.
May also be fodder for Sleezebags, depending on perceived sex and availability.

- 'The Look at Me'
It's human nature to sometimes feel that you're a planet, spinning right dab smack in the centre
of a vast, complex universe. The LAM feels the need to advertise this fact to other celestial bodies on
a semi-regular basis. Common symptoms including starting new threads with the LAM's name
somewhere in the thread title, or managing to recall snippets from the rich tapestry of their lives in
almost every post. Some LAMs have tremendous faith in the strength of their opinions, and aren't
afraid to do battle with the most bitter and powerful of Wankers. Other LAMs may lack patience with
issues too far from 'the centre'. They bore quickly of such 'circular' threads, become Rat's Asses, and
urge Chockstoners to join them in superior threads (for which the LAM is the OP).

There are 1197 replies to this topic.

 

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