Chockstone Forum

      Sponsored By
      ROCK
   HARDWARE

Chockstone Photography

Australian Landscape Prints

Chockstone Forum - Trip Reports

Tells Us About Your Latest Trip!

Author

bl@ke and Hargs. Ozymandias. TR

One Day Hero

1-Oct-2010
1:58:07 PM

Yeah, I don't reckon the hippy frame of mind is right for big walling. Bailing before you start cause "we were probably gonna get a couple of pitches up, then pike"?!?......wandering off for a few cones?!? "wow man, the karma just wasn't right down there, next time maybe we'll feel the vibe, y'know!?!".................

Wrong, wrong, wrong!!!

Buffalo is no place to be one with the rock, its pointy and evil and wants to hurt you. Fight the rock, hate the rock!
Take different drugs, I recommend whatever Contador is on!.........notice how he has psycho eyes? So did Messner and Harding, thats the look you should be aiming for. The gorge is a different kettle of fish to Araps, you won't get up nothing on sunshine and butterflies. Destroy your Jack Johnson CD's, get some scando metal, bite the head off a small mammal, then concrete up.......feel the power of the dark side, Bluke!

bl@ke

1-Oct-2010
2:11:46 PM

On 1/10/2010 Fish Boy wrote:

>
>Blake, a 70 is big enough for two people in summer for several days. Two
>bags, ignoring the size is a better option than one so things can be split
>up and used during the day etc...

Two bags would be handy but a 70 still seems to tiny. Ill try get all my stuff into a 70l pack tonight.

I think we went overkill on most things. Like next time i wont bring any food, you can survive for a month without it. No sleeping gear either, you can stay awake for 3 days and nights. No fancy aiders, 3mm cord 3 steps should do, no need for two. clothes? boxers are enough, shivering will keep you warm. only one small rack, just back clean heaps. One 500ml waterbottle should do.

bl@ke

1-Oct-2010
2:16:21 PM

On 1/10/2010 One Day Hero wrote:
>Yeah, I don't reckon the hippy frame of mind is right for big walling.

Who says im a hippy?

>Bailing before you start cause "we were probably gonna get a couple of
>pitches up, then pike"?!?......wandering off for a few cones?!?

I dont do drugs.

"wow man,
>the karma just wasn't right down there, next time maybe we'll feel the
>vibe, y'know!?!"................. We spoke nothing of such crap.

>Take different drugs, I recommend whatever Contador is on!

Who is that?

Destroy your Jack
>Johnson CD's,

Who is that?

simey

1-Oct-2010
2:22:09 PM

On 1/10/2010 nmonteith wrote:
>The walk down is way easier than rapping down Comet Ramp or down Defender.... Should take about an hour - even with haul bags.

Neil is correct. I don't know what route you guys are taking on the walk-down. In fact I don't even recall the fixed ropes you mention. I've walked back up South Side from the base of Ozy with all my kit having bailed after two pitches after trying to solo it (I had never done any aiding and was a bit clueless). I am pretty sure it only took me an hour and a half to walk back up.

One Day Hero

1-Oct-2010
2:32:07 PM

On 1/10/2010 bl@ke wrote:
>
> Who says im a hippy?
>
That whole trip report oozed airy-fairy, hippy climbing ideals
>
>>Bailing before you start cause "we were probably gonna get a couple of
>>pitches up, then pike"?!?......wandering off for a few cones?!?
>
Maybe its time to start? Just use the right drugs for the right occasions
>
> "wow man,
>>the karma just wasn't right down there, next time maybe we'll feel the
>>vibe, y'know!?!"................. We spoke nothing of such crap.
>
Yes you did, you just don't realise it

>> I recommend whatever Contador is on!
>
> Who is that?

The "techniques" used in other sports are highly applicable to climbing, do some research
>
> Destroy your Jack
>>Johnson CD's,
>
> Who is that?

Now, thats more like it!


nmonteith

1-Oct-2010
3:00:29 PM

When we did Lord Gumtree in winter we packed three 'bars' per person per day for food. Breakfast - one museli bar, lunch - one powerbar, dinner - one powerbar. By our 2nd day we weren't feeling too good and by the end of the climb we both had hideous stomach cramps from starvation! We had light haul bags though.... :-)

bl@ke

1-Oct-2010
3:08:09 PM

Well ODH maybe you do too many drugs and you just think that what I wrote sounded airy fairy. Feel free to point out these hippy climbing ideals because I cant find em.

One Day Hero

1-Oct-2010
4:00:21 PM

Allow me to rewrite your report, with some minor changes reflecting the change in attitude required for success

On 30/09/2010 bl@ke wrote:
>So after lots of emails and PM's and other stuff Michael and I were off
>to Mt Buffalo to do Ozymandias.
>We arrived at the car park at around 10 on saturday morning and went for
>a walk to the various lookouts around the place and slowly started getting
>organised. We put everything out on the table and started packing it into
>Britney the pig. This pig when full was a beast. "Whats in there?" says
>a tourist, "A couple of bodys" was my reply and I kept walking. We quickly
>had it filled and we had to pack our rack into a large daypack.
>
>So after lunch we wandered down the south side track with two very heavy
>packs making the going difficult. Nick was up on the north wall soloing
>She so we got to see him whenever the track allowed us a view. Hard we
>though.
>We got lost a few times along the way but this was not the worst part.
>Carying a pig down was horrible (my left knee is still swollen from all
>the droping down from rocks). Michaels pack was just as heavy but mine
>was bigger so I just pretended it was heavier.
>After a while we came to the first section with a fixed rope. Michael
>zips across while I take my pig off and clip it to the fixed line so we
>can rope it across. I stick my guide into my mouth while I but slide a
>little bit to a little ledge thingy. For some reason I open my mouth and
>my guide drops onto the ledge, bounces off the ledge flaps about in the
>air and bounces down the cliff. I hear it bounce and flap and bounce and
>flap until I think it has hit the ground until we both heart a loud slap
>sound as it finaly hits the ground. There goes 50 bucks.
>We got the pig across and then lowered it down a wet and mossy gully waterfall
>thing that was full of giant worms, juming jacks and most likey lost Viet
>Cong. It was getting late in the day so we picked up the pace a bit but
>another section with fixed ropes slowed us down.
>We finaly got to Crystal Brook just on dark. I filled my drink bottle
>and skulled most of it, I was so thirsty. Then we had a quick sniff around
>for a spot to camp. The only spot was a boulder just big enough for both
>of us to sleep on. We added some sticks, leaves, our ropes and my belay
>seat for extra comfort had tea and sttled down for the night. The constant
>noise of the waterfall made it hard for me to sleep but I got enough so
>I wasnt too grumpy the next day.
>
>More soon.

......should read;

So, after lots of training involving crawling up hills with a pack full of rocks, punching brick walls to deaden nerve endings, and starting fights with strangers in order to engender the right frame of mind....Micheal and I were off to smash the shit out of that muthafuching pile of smeg called Ozymandius!

We arrive at the carpark at 2pm on Friday after calling in sick at our fuching shit workplaces, the boss can eat my arse. Showing up at this time gives us the opportunity to scope the descent route in daylight.....and drag all the rope and rack down past the difficulties thereby easing the load for the morning. Take that you evil arsef--- descent track, f--- you! After a quick meal of raw meat, a bottle of JD and a quick session of screaming insults at the route from across the gorge, we turn in early (2am) so as to get an alpine start.

Get up at 5am after not sleeping, f--- it, harden up princess. Stuff the pig in 2mins flat, 2nd can repack while belaying at the base. Breakfast is served whilst walking, its not a f---ing beach holiday. "What's in there?" asks a tourist (strangely awake and walking around at 5am) "I wanna see your brains" is my curt reply! Know the track already, roll down on autopilot. The pig (nicknamed arsec--tbitch) sucks balls, I hate and fight the f---er all the way but do not let it slow me down. I do not drop the guide as I have sketched out the topo on a bit of paper and carrying a whole guidebook up a route would be retarded. The waterfall is making noises which piss me off, "come over here and make that noise f---er, then we'll see!......piece of shit waterfall, I'll throttle your torrent, bitch!".......my knees are smashing this shit because I trained all the weakness out of them before I came to this godforsaken, f---arse gorge!
We finally get to the f---in' creek just on sunup......how you like my dick now, bitch?! We do not look for a spot to camp as this is not a camping holiday, time to climb, where's the route? lets go f--- this muthaf---a!

More soon

simey

1-Oct-2010
4:09:58 PM

What lovely prose ODH. You have truly managed to encapsulate the Buffalo experience. It is a pity Simon Carter didn't use it for his introduction to Buffalo in his Australian Climbing coffee table book. I look foward to your continuation.

daave

1-Oct-2010
4:12:18 PM

I'm pretty sure thats the funniest thing I've read on chocky...ever! lol.

One Day Hero

1-Oct-2010
4:19:25 PM

On 1/10/2010 simey wrote:
>What lovely prose ODH. You have truly managed to encapsulate the Buffalo
>experience. It is a pity Simon Carter didn't use it for his introduction
>to Buffalo in his Australian Climbing coffee table book. I look foward
>to your continuation.

Am I the only one who feels an urge to spew as yet another climber distills the essence of climbing into yet another flowery guidebook introduction?..............the gentle caress of the warm stone, the dance of swallows flitting along the cliff............bleaaaarrrgghh!

simey

1-Oct-2010
4:25:48 PM

On 1/10/2010 One Day Hero wrote:
>Am I the only one who feels an urge to spew as yet another climber distills the essence of climbing into yet another flowery guidebook introduction?..............the gentle caress of the warm stone, the dance of swallows flitting along the cliff............bleaaaarrrgghh!

Well I think that is the angle we went for with the Arapiles guidebook, but Glenn wrote the intro so you can blame him.

One Day Hero

1-Oct-2010
4:39:47 PM

Yeah, well maybe I'd be able to throw a few words together for the next edition. Perhaps you could discuss it with Glenn the next time you bump into him? Remember to mention that I made it about two sentences into his intro before blowing chunks all over the guidebook........I had to sort of mush it shut, slip it back on the shelf, and scamper before the saleschick got stuck into me!

simey

1-Oct-2010
4:54:00 PM

I love how this thread is called Ozymandias Trip Report when not one metre of Ozymandias was climbed. Here is the first part of my trip report to climb K2.

K2 TR
So after lots of emails and PM's and other stuff Michael and I were off to Pakistan to do K2.

We arrived at the airport at around 10 on saturday morning. We had packed everything into Britney the pig. This pig when full was a beast. "Whats in there?" says a tourist, "Lots of heavy shit that is completely useless" was my reply and I kept walking. We had packed our rack into a large daypack.

So we arrived in Pakistan with two very heavy packs which made the going difficult. We heard some other climbers were climbing stuff in the Karakoram so we kept tabs on their progress via our iphones. We got lost a few times trying to find customs but this was not the worst part. Carying a pig was horrible (my left knee is still swollen from all the walking down the stairs). Michaels pack was just as heavy but mine was bigger so I just pretended it was heavier.

After getting out of customs we had to somehow find our way out of the airport. Michael zipped through the terminal while I took my pig off and put it on one of those little airport trolleys so I could wheel it around. I stick my iphone into my mouth. For some reason I open my mouth and my iphone dropped onto the floor, bounced and then landed under someones foot. There goes 500 bucks.

We got to an escalator that wasn't working so we had to lower the pig. It was now getting late in the day so we picked up the pace but another section with stairs slowed us down.

We finally got out of the airport and found a hotel just on dark. I filled my drink bottle and sculled most of it, I was so thirsty. Then we had a quick sniff around for which room we should each take. The only available room had a double bed just big enough for both of us to sleep on. We added some extra blankets for comfort, had tea and settled down for the night. The constant noise of the traffic made it hard for me to sleep but I got enough so I wasnt too grumpy the next day.

to be continued...


..::- Chris -::..

1-Oct-2010
5:03:56 PM

oh Simey .... haven't had a good laugh like that in a while....tears in my eyes....

simey

1-Oct-2010
5:12:17 PM

On 1/10/2010 One Day Hero wrote:
>Yeah, well maybe I'd be able to throw a few words together for the next
>edition. Perhaps you could discuss it with Glenn the next time you bump
>into him? Remember to mention that I got about two sentences into his intro
>before blowing chunks all over the guidebook........I had to sort of mush
>it shut, slip it back on the shelf, and scamper before the saleschick got
>stuck into me!

That might have been the guidebook someone returned to us with a complaint about some smudged printing on one of the pages.

One Day Hero

1-Oct-2010
5:24:20 PM

On 1/10/2010 simey wrote:

More funny shit!

So.....I think this thread has morphed into a competition. Who can do the best rewrite of Blakes TR? Submissions for Part 1 due by Monday 5pm, winner decided by a poll. We'll get to work on Part 2 next week

Have a nice w/e :)

costa

1-Oct-2010
7:42:16 PM

i wanna know where you got an iphone for 500 bucks

costa

1-Oct-2010
7:43:10 PM

correction. where you would

jacq

1-Oct-2010
9:02:05 PM

You guys are so kind and supportive. Nice work.

There are 50 messages in this topic.