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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

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Author
Friday Funnies

IdratherbeclimbingM9
Online Now
22/03/2014
12:46:29 PM
New door lock that is selling well in SA at the moment...



IdratherbeclimbingM9
Online Now
24/03/2014
12:40:42 PM
Gilligan found it...


Eduardo Slabofvic
24/03/2014
2:20:31 PM
They could make a radio out of two coconuts and some sand, but couldn't fix a three foot hole in a boat. They'll have no hope with a plane.

IdratherbeclimbingM9
Online Now
24/03/2014
2:27:47 PM
On 24/03/2014 Edward Oslabofvic wrote:
>They could make a radio out of two coconuts and some sand, but couldn't
>fix a three foot hole in a boat. They'll have no hope with a plane.

~> You reckon they must've been gen-y-sportclimbers, eh bro?
;-)

Eduardo Slabofvic
24/03/2014
3:25:08 PM
On 24/03/2014 IdratherbeclimbingM9 wrote:
>>~> You reckon they must've been gen-y-sportclimbers, eh bro?
>;-)

They don't have beards though

IdratherbeclimbingM9
Online Now
24/03/2014
4:13:01 PM
On 24/03/2014 Edward Oslabofvic wrote:
>On 24/03/2014 IdratherbeclimbingM9 wrote:
>>>~> You reckon they must've been gen-y-sportclimbers, eh bro?
>>;-)
>
>They don't have beards though

You have grown a beard?
Pics or it never happened.
;-)

ajfclark
28/03/2014
9:11:13 AM
Stumbled across this earlier in the week though it's probably not funny if you didn't play street fighter:
martym
28/03/2014
10:44:34 AM
On 28/03/2014 ajfclark wrote:
>Stumbled across this earlier in the week though it's probably not funny
>if you didn't play street fighter:
I get it... but they're not climbing rocks... it might be rock hard, but it's not rock...
spicelab
28/03/2014
3:17:31 PM
Man, I dumped almost enough for a house deposit into that game back in my youth.

I was at least a 5.14 Streetfighter player.
martym
28/03/2014
3:21:07 PM
On 28/03/2014 spicelab wrote:
>Man, I dumped almost enough for a house deposit into that game back in
>my youth.
>
>I was at least a 5.14 Streetfighter player.

And then Kylie Minogue ruined it all...

IdratherbeclimbingM9
Online Now
4/04/2014
3:38:47 PM
A scary funny for the treadly riders and motorcyclists out there...
(It is kind of reminiscent of a Monty Python skit?)


A group of seniors were sitting around talking about all their ailments at the Coffee Club.

"My arms have got so weak I can hardly lift this cup of coffee," said one.

"Yes, I know," said another. "My cataracts are so bad; I can't even see my coffee."

"I couldn't even mark an "X" at election time because my hands are so crippled," volunteered a third.

"What? Speak up! What? I can't hear you, said one elderly lady.

I can't turn my head because of the arthritis in my neck," said one, to which several nodded weakly in agreement.

"My blood pressure pills make me so dizzy!" exclaimed another.

"I forget where I am, and where I'm going," said another.

"I guess that's the price we pay for getting old," winced an old man as he slowly shook his head.

The others nodded in agreement.

"Well, count your blessings," said a woman cheerfully....

"Thank God we can all still drive."


IdratherbeclimbingM9
Online Now
6/04/2014
11:10:40 AM
Came across another bit of trivia-(humour?), for what it's worth ...




Police work can be entertaining as well as dangerous.

Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick LAWRENCE, a 22 year
old male, who was caught fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of
the night.

The next day, at the Horsham Court (Victoria, Australia), LAWRENCE was
charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency and public
intoxication.

LAWRENCE explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way
home from a drinking session, he decided to stop.
"You know how a pumpkin can be soft and squishy inside... well, there
was no one around for miles - or at least I thought there wasn't anyone
around..." he stated.

LAWRENCE went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road,
picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a
hole in it and proceeded to satisfy his pressing need.
"I s'pose I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident
embarrassment.

In the process of doing the deed, LAWRENCE failed to notice an
approaching police car and was unaware of his audience, until Senior
Constable Brenda TAYLOR approached him.

'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Senior Constable
TAYLOR,
'I walked up to LAWRENCE - and he's just banging away at this
pumpkin...'

Senior Constable TAYLOR went on to describe what happened when she
approached LAWRENCE...
"I said; 'Excuse me sir, why are you having sex with a pumpkin?"

"LAWRENCE froze.
He was clearly very surprised that I was there, but then he looked me
straight in the eye and said,
'A pumpkin? Shit - is it midnight already?"

The court (and the magistrate) could not contain their mirth.

The Geelong Post wrote an article describing this as 'The best
come-back line ever.'



Miguel75
6/04/2014
1:10:04 PM
Continuing on with interesting Police stories my brother is a prosecutor in the US. He had a case where the defendant was caught and charged with molesting a vending machine. Evidently the first few times he was busted in the act of loving the machine he got off but was finally arrested and charged with willful damage and molestation of a vending machine after breaking it open to steal money...

I reckon he should have been charged with domestic violence too...
kieranl
6/04/2014
1:47:57 PM
I'm impressed that you managed to tell that without resorting to the term "money shot".

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