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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

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Author
Friday Funnies

kuu
20-Jun-2009
4:37:28 PM
And Ben said: "blop blop she loba lop blop blop"

Sounds like quite a mouthful.

IdratherbeclimbingM9
20-Jun-2009
9:44:15 PM
... and recently MrsM10 said;
>He really shouldn't talk with his mouth full.


pmonks
21-Jun-2009
1:31:26 PM
Q. Why can't Miss Piggy count to 70?
A. She gets a frog in her mouth at 69!

pmonks
21-Jun-2009
2:11:27 PM
On 21/06/2009 ajfclark wrote:
>Shouldn't that be a frog in her throat?

Apparently Kermit isn't that well endowed.

IdratherbeclimbingM9
21-Jun-2009
4:39:28 PM
On 21/06/2009 pmonks wrote:
>Apparently Kermit isn't that well endowed.

~> has been going downhill at a rate of knots lately too ...


Sabu
21-Jun-2009
4:44:04 PM
maybe its related to this....
http://www.spikedhumor.com/articles/133902/Kermit-the-Frog-Watches-2-Girls-1-Cup.html
daave
24-Jun-2009
12:20:38 PM
Women's rights...
hero
24-Jun-2009
12:30:01 PM
What's long green and smells of pork?





Kermit's finger.


A variation on an old joke. What's pink and smells of ginger.

Fred Astaire's tongue.

pmonks
24-Jun-2009
3:08:19 PM
It must be Friday somewhere in the universe...


Heard from inside the neighbourhood Transcendental Meditation Centre:

"Give me reincarnation or give me death!!"

Phil Box
25-Jun-2009
6:58:40 AM
On 24/06/2009 pmonks wrote:
>It must be Friday somewhere in the universe...
>
>
>Heard from inside the neighbourhood Transcendental Meditation Centre:
>
>"Give me reincarnation or give me death!!"

That reminds me.

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused aneasthetic during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.


MrsM10iswhereitsat.
26-Jun-2009
12:01:16 PM
Good morning lovely Chockstoners. Isn't it alarming all this alarmist theory stuff over on the global warming thread? Kind of changes our focus from the recent bleating of the political correctness sheep though doesn't it?
While chatting with Derek my M10 love over a cuppa this morning, he says it's life, or death, or whatever, and to get over it. He reckons if we can't get over it then we need to get on with it. He is confusing me a bit (and I am not sure he hasn't spiked his camomile with grog again), so I asked him what he means.
He tells me it is all a matter of perspective and told me this story to illustrate his point, about what is sad from a political correctness perspective, but what is sadder still, is the fact that in a country which prides itself on freedom of speech, one has to spend time worrying about the political correctness perspective.




The perspectives of Mohammed and Little Bruce.


Mohammed entered his classroom.
"What is your name?" asked the teacher.
"Mohammed".... answered the kid.
"We are in Australia and, there is no Mohammed. From now on your name will be Bruce," replied the teacher.
In the evening, Mohammed returned home. "How was your day, Mohammed?" asked his mother.
"My name is not Mohammed, I am in Australia and now my name is Bruce."
"Ahh, are you ashamed of your name, are you trying to disown your parents, your heritage, your religion? Shame on you," and she beat him.
Then she called the father and he too beat him savagely.
The next day Mohammed returned to school. When the teacher saw him with all the bruises she asked: "What happened to you little Bruce?"

"Well, Miss, only two hours after becoming Australian I was attacked by two f***ing Arabs!..."


MonkeyBoy
26-Jun-2009
1:08:23 PM
... .... ....Report just in..... ..... .....

Michael Jackson dead.
Died as a result of a heart attack due to lack of oxygen.
The paramedics at the scene tried to revive him but could find his mouth,
Nose, ears or Face.

pmonks
26-Jun-2009
1:29:01 PM
Only in America can someone be born an African-American male and die a white female!


Let the MJ joke deluge begin...

JimboV10
26-Jun-2009
2:05:47 PM
Reports suggest that MJ died picking his nose.. They arent blaming it on the sunshine, or the moonlight, they are blaming it on the boogie...

RIP MJ - I'm gonna miss him.. As weird as he was, he was an icon.. And my gf has been in tears all day!
StuE
26-Jun-2009
2:18:20 PM
When MJ first went into hospital the doctor was asked whether he would be ok. The Doc replied "Sure, he'll be all white".

surfinclimb
27-Jun-2009
6:16:07 PM
***** NEWS FLASH*******
Michael Jackson is not dead. He has ben found in the Melbourne royal childrens hospital having a stroke.


Faraw Fawcett turned up to the pearly gates and St Peter offered her 1 wish as reward for her contribution to society (being a hottie) she said she wanted all the children on earth to be safe........
3 hours later M.J was dead of a heart attack.


Whats the difference between M.J and a plastic bag??
one is white plastic and dangerous to children,
The other is a plastic bag.

On a serious note I'm a bit suprised that so many people are upset about an alleged child offender dying. Is it because he wrote and sang some good music. Does that clean the slate in everones concience, Remeber he was the 40 year old that admitted to having children sleeping in his bed.

gordoste
28-Jun-2009
11:10:17 PM
I don't think people are crying because the world lost a man accused of child molestation. I think they're crying because the world lost a musical genius.

My personal opinion (and i'm not a psychologist) is that his childhood may have undermined his ability to form long-term relationships with people and therefore he never felt truly loved by anyone except children. A child doesn't consider how much money you have when they decide to be your friend. Perhaps he was lonely and found that kind of relationship a little too seductive.

I also remember a story about a teacher who was accused of child molestation by a student, suspended from his job and after a few months of everybody talking about him, committed suicide. The student subsequently revealed that she had made it up. Who knows what Michael Jackson did or didn't do? Remember he was never found guilty before you get up on your soapbox.

Phil Box
29-Jun-2009
8:09:37 AM
Hey this is Friday Funnies, not Friday Serious.
hero
29-Jun-2009
10:40:23 AM
Phil,

you misunderstood. Gordoste called MJ "a musical genius". Clearly taking the piss.

evanbb
29-Jun-2009
10:46:29 AM
On 29/06/2009 ajfclark wrote:
>On 28/06/2009 gordoste wrote:
>>Remember he was never found guilty before you get up on your soapbox.
>
>Neither was OJ...

And apparently MJ spent $400m on legal fees. If I had $400m to piss up the wall on legals I bet I could prove the moon was made of green cheese.

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