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General Climbing Discussion

 Page 8 of 8. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 40 | 41 to 60 | 61 to 80 | 81 to 100 | 101 to 120 | 121 to 140 | 141 to 152
Dear Simey

Cool Hand Lock
9:51:36 PM
Oh the terror. Oh the wilds of Tasmainia. Oh the lack of doughnuts on the hire boat.... get over it. M10 go and do the climb.... "oh, but I really want to on-sight it"(M10)... well it's 25 go and try it.

P.S. No hands rest at begining of second pitch. And one at the camp ground.

5:33:51 PM
On 9/03/2005 simey wrote:
>I'm afraid to say folks that I won't be able to answer your problems over
>the next few days (I'll be working working on some very important international
>I recommend that you seek Bourge's advice until I return.

Dear Simey,
I heard there was a Georgedubblya conspiracy happening with the execution of the Bali bombers going down on the 9th of the 11th, but that is not what I wanted your opinion about.
I recently read of a heroic friend who likes snogging, but he isn't getting any lately due to alienating potential snoggers on a well known climbing website.
He bags not being outed, so I am posting on his behalf.
What can he do?
PS; please don't advise him to read historical sections of climbing guides to re-obtain snogging context, as I have been told that really isn't his thing.
Yours etc,

7:20:43 PM
If I could try and answer this, although I'm sure Simey has far more experience in snogging bloks than I do, I think the problem lies in Slobadick's prefered use of guide books.
As most potential Chockstone snoggers are only interested in the guide book ticks of their potential snoggee, wouldn't want to wast a good snogg on some over excited gym bunny. Sloberdick has a habit of wiping his arse on his guides, thus not allowing potential snoggers the means to be be able to gauge whether he is worthy of a good tonguing.
But due to his fixation with a clean anus, maybe potential rimmers would be more accommodated?

10:49:58 PM
There goes the neighbourhood re my attempt at light humour.
(Would've been a better thread topic for sott reply?)

1:52:42 PM
A cross-link from Climbing = Dating thread, for those into such things ...

On 26/04/2009 noclimberboys wrote:
>Another new topic...
>Everyone's done this at least once in their life... the catch up with
>an ex flame, bumping into a one night stand or texting a 'good friend'
>to just say hello. Well everyone knows this doesn't lead to good things.
>lately the weather's been pretty cold and miserable. Great weather to
>snuggle up to a nice warm body if you have one....And if you haven't then
>this is when people start reconnecting with those past experiences.
>Well, I've just gone and done just that. I've got myself into a pickle
>where I've been hanging out with an old flame (not a big flame but there
>was a spark). Well, one thing leads to another... we're having fun, chatting
>and seeming getting along. To the point of wondering what ever was it that
>stopped us from going further last time. The lights are dark and now we're
>in the throws of 'accidentily' touching and edging closer to talk.... Nothing
>has happened but damn I'm finding it hard to concentrate on work.
>Who else has similar experiences? Should I just get it out of my system?
>Or please myself? Or just go climbing?... to um, relieve the pressure,
>if you know what I mean?
>Please help this tortured soul.

9:23:18 PM
Dear Simey
Unfortunately my wife and I have been having some marital difficulties and I have taken up sexual relations with our pet pig, 'Pinky'. She is a delightful accomodating soul, but in view of the recent WHO advisories, I am concerned that I may be engaging in risky behaviour.
Please advise whether..
1. Sexual relations are OK as long as I wear a condom?
2. Whether Mr.Rudd's advice of washing my hands would suffice?'
3. Whether I should relight an old flame with 'Milky Way' our pet goat. Unfortunately he has quite big horns, and is ..well.. a 'he'.

NB: Pinky is an English Large Black - certainly not Mexican

Thanks for your advice,
Yours desparately
(David is in fact my real name - as are 'Pinky' and Milkyway' - I'm a bit of a stickler for honesty and openness.)

11:08:31 PM
You can always just go with the advice the new South African president used once:
Have a shower afterwards to prevent AIDS, well in your case whatever the pig has!
10:43:43 AM
Option 3. With milky way the goat being a horny bugger you are more likely to get some action and at least you have something to hang on to.

Cool Hand Lock
11:21:25 PM
Dear Simey,

I have a friend who when coiling a rope dosn't do enough wraps around the head of the coil. And as such the coil falls apart after being thrown around my van a few times. Leaving my fiend with a scence of achivement of having coiled a rope. But, also leaving me with a tangled pile of crap. How would I best approach the subject with the friend? Or should I just bitch about it on chockstone untill he gets the message.

Also Simey,
I have another friend/aquantance who had a sucsessful thread on chockstone entitled " Dear ***ey" (hey why does the mod edit that word?) I noticed since he started running a small food emporium in town and hasnt had time for pointless/comical banter. What could one do to encourage this guy back into the world of time wasting retoric.

11:36:20 PM
... just disagree with him, ~> that is sure to get a response!
Heh, heh, heh.
11:40:49 AM
On 18/10/2011 Cool Hand Lock wrote:
>Dear Simey,
>I have a friend who when coiling a rope dosn't do enough wraps around
>the head of the coil. And as such the coil falls apart after being thrown
>around my van a few times. Leaving my fiend with a scence of achivement
>of having coiled a rope. But, also leaving me with a tangled pile of crap.
>How would I best approach the subject with the friend? Or should I just
>bitch about it on chockstone untill he gets the message.

Who feels a sense of achievement after coiling a rope?!! What sort of friends do you have? Five-year-olds?!

But I can understand your concern for not wanting to upset your friend by telling them that their rope-coiling skills are shithouse. Situations like this demand diplomacy and tact. If you want some tips on how to conduct yourself appropriately so as to not upset their feelings, then I suggest you ask the master of constructive criticism and positive reinforcement - One Day Hero.

11:25:55 AM
Dear simey,

I have been told that I am getting old and feeble and in these uncertain financial times that my self-funded stipend is likely to run out. As a result I am thinking of giving up aid climbing which is a real shame as it sure attracted hoards of female floosies, saving me having to chase them.

I am also told that you are the master of managing a depleted stipend, so what advice can you give me about the following?

1. The conquest of floosies after ones stipend runs out.
2. What to tell all of my climbing friends when they think my morals have gone to the gutter by giving up aid climbing and having to consider taking up mattress pursuits like bouldering?

PS. I realise I am at a disadvantage already due unlike yourself, not having retained a full head of hair as my climbing grades declined.

Heh, heh, etc.

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There are 152 messages in this topic.


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