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Paul Smells: Gramps, 24-26th Jan

alrob

28-Jan-2004
3:15:19 PM

The long haul to the Gramps began slowly, that fateful, muggy Friday afternoon. Armed to the teeth with the blue wife beater, oiled workpants, dads Gramps-mobile (6 month old Outback!) Crash mats gritting their teeth, clinging desperately to the roof racks, and a stack of CD's, our first unplanned stop was 2 minutes down the road, as the unbearable vibrating of the pack straps on the mats against the roof was almost enough for me to cancel the whole weekend and go sulk in my room for the next 3 days.

Never-the-less, with the combined intelligence of a 98.6 ENTER score student (Paul), a prospective climbing bum for the next year (Me) and an ingenuitive trade school student (Rhys), we managed to rectify the situation in just 10 minutes! An hour behind schedule, it was going to be a long drive for me. There were many amusements along the way however, including a L-Plater pulled over by an unmarked cop car (for speeding presumably) and a f****** local trucky f****** conversation picked up on f****** Rhys’ f****** walkie-talkies. We finally arrived at 12:30 that night, and not without the usual game of spot-the-stupid-roo-with-a-death-wish-and-try-not-to-plaster-your-windscreen-with-its-blood.

I was the first to rise, and to my stupidity, had given the car keys to Paul the nite before to lock the car, and was left without breakfast. So I went for a little exploratory walk off in the direction of Sentinal cave, via some directions I vaguely remembered seeing in Neil’s guide. Actually, I don't think we ever really had any true knowledge of directions over the whole weekend, as many walk-in’s seemed somewhat like guesswork. Anyway, a good look at the routes there, and a vow to return, I headed back to camp for some brekky. I was really psyched to get back to Van Diemans, as was Paul, so we headed for Summerday Valley for a warm-up, and to kill time before the wall at VD came into shade. The first route we came upon was Tootsie Direct **22. I had heard of Phil Neville’s prior efforts, including his first trad fall. "Ah bugger it, I’ll just do it now!" I couldn't be bothered looking for easier routes to warm up on, so I geared up, swallowed the fear that was trying to manifest itself in the form of sweating hands and trembling knees, and began up the route. With a bomber nut below the crux, I punched through the thin moves, and slumped over the top for the onsight. I couldn't believe it! Paul then tied in for the second, and in usual style, pulled of the crux moves with ease and grace, but not before failing to retrieve 2 nuts, that I was obviously worried about failing, that required the help of a nut tool and a firm hand, which is where Rhys stepped up to bat. For having not climbed since before Christmas, he was still cranking bloody hard, with only a few dogs on the route. And for all those scavengers who may still think the gear is still stuck, think again! (*Al shakes his index finger*). Paul then quickly racked up for another run on Overkill **17, which he had done on a previous occasion. Opting to place small, fiddly gear in not so bomber locations, instead of the obvious bigger, bomber gear, and running it out above this gear, Paul quickly dispatched the climb, with both Rhys and I seconding cleanly. This is a fantastic route and line, thoroughly recommended!

Speaking about thoroughly recommended climbs, that little known climb, what is it called…Terminal Insomnia… **22, which on my last trip to VD saw 7 of the 8 people there send it (the 1 person who didn’t even try it was me…go figure), finally got to feel the wrath of my bone crushing biceps and robot like finger strength. Second go that is. First shot was absolutely dreadful, with quivering cries of “TAKE!!” and a serious bout of Elvis leg. I can be quoted upon lowering after my first shot as saying “2 bloody stars!! You’re bloody joking! That was desperate and hideous climbing!” But, after sending it, I can say it is well worth the hype that precedes it. Oh, and just for good measure, Paul sent it first shot, after having previously done it too. Just as a warm up. Suppose ya want a medal now huh Paul! Well bugger ya! Strong bastard…

Paul then turned his gaze to Cosmic Psycho *24. Again, he had given it a go last time he was there, and was still trying for the redpoint. Finally I could call Paul a failure after not onsighting this. Ahh, the pleasures I take out of Pauls failures. It makes him look not that much stronger then me…doesn’t it………well I think it does…On his first shot of the day, he had some troubles at the 3rd clip, thugging up from the undercling pockets into the big horizontal break. He then climbed cleanly the rest of the way. Now for my turn. Joking around as usual, it posed the question to Paul “Waddayal gimme if I flash it?” He just laughed. My heart broke in two. So strong was my desire to impress him. So, I guess I had to flash it, or something similarly spectacular. Well, it was a bit of both. To my amazement (and his…. finally, he notices me!!!!) I cranked out the moves to the handlebars at the 4th clip, were I managed a super cool kneebar rest. Go the lank! With only the flash on my mind, I cranked out the moves to the 5th bolt, where to my astonishment, the ‘good hold out to the right at the clip’ as Paul was trying to point out to me, was actually, a large piece of pooh sloper. 6 meters later, I was back down at the second clip. Huh, to the right ‘ay Paul…Paul sends the route second shot, I fall off again yadda-yadda-yadda, what’s new? At least I don’t fart as much as Paul does. And if I do, the smell much, much worse!

Next morning I set out with Rhys to Sentinal Cave to have a go on Stepping on Snakes **23. First thought I decided to warm-up on Dwarf Pumper. Unsure of how to finish this, I topped out, walked across to the SOS chains, and lowered off from there. I take it Neil that this is not the proper way…? Rhys then jumped on the toprope, as he was not confident enough to lead it, and climbed solidly up to the 2nd ring. A couple of rests later, and the draws cleaned, he lowered to the ground. Then it was Stepping on Snakes time. Again, like Terminal Insomnia, the first shot was utter pooh, flailing desperately at the hard moves, as well as the easy ones. Second shot, I was sure of it. Cranking like a demon (that is, if demons are 6’3 and skinny. If not…then I was cranking like a 6’3, skinny person………) I pushed through the pump to the roof. Pumping really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really badly, really, I was just able to rap my fingers, which by now had no feeling left, before spitting off, which resulted in a rather loud and obscene expletive. Much like the ones heard during the truckies conversation on the way. Back to camp for a sulk. Oh, and LUNCH!

Meeting up with Taruna and young Tom from Hardrock, who had arrived the night before, but much later then us (try 2:30am), we headed off to Kindergarden to boulder. Oh, and while we were at Sentinal, Paul just happened to send 2 V5’s and 2V6’s at Campground Boulders. I just thought I’d mention that little bit of demoralizing information. Arriving at lower Kindergarden, Paul, Tom and I quickly dispatched a couple of the V3’s, then wandered over to upper Kindergarden, to see Taruna ready and pumped for another go at Spankin’ the Monkey Bars, V8. On a previous trip, he had come desperately close, catching the final hold before sliding off. A totally oblivious passer by would have mistaken Taruna for one of the best climbers in the world, through his 3 spotters, 3 mats and personal photographer (Rhys). The middle crux continually denied him, spitting him down to the mats numerously. The problem looks brilliant, a real endurance test, with no real rests and desperate slopes through a roof. Just to the right is an uber cool V5 called ‘A Horse is a Horse’, which I managed to flash, Paul getting it second shot, and young Tom shortly after. An amazing trip for Tom, his first to Gramps.

nmonteith

28-Jan-2004
3:47:05 PM

Dwarf Pumper - i never got around to installing a second bolt for a lower off on the third clip. I never really thought this area woudl be as popular as it is!

James

28-Jan-2004
4:18:42 PM

for the full-value Dwarf Pumper experience, it needs to be winter, 5 degress, misty & raining & the route driping wet. That way one gets to try & warm up on it, no feeling below one's elbows, then fall off, clip one's knee cap & dislocate it. That way the walk back (read: hobble) to the campground takes over an hour, oh, and it has to hail on the walk out.... its the complete experience....

nmonteith

28-Jan-2004
4:32:18 PM

Or try it in 43 degree temps in direct sun like Dodgy and I did last year. We coudln't hold even the biggest jugs because of the pouring sweat.

Setha

29-Jan-2004
11:56:09 AM

Ahhh Dwarf Pumper, my first lead in the Gramps (actually my first climb in the Gramps), it will always have a special place in my heart! Bless that monteith man and his drill! :p

Rupert

29-Jan-2004
12:59:06 PM

Thanks Alister, Good report.

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