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Chockstone Forum - General Discussion

General Climbing Discussion

 Page 1 of 2. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 33
Author
Whingeing Aussie.
Karl Bromelow
14/09/2011
9:40:38 PM
I got my citizenship this evening. As a curious aside the UK candidates accounted for around 80% of the new intake at the ceremony. Will it stop me complaining? I doubt it.

What advice would the kind people of Chockstone like to offer my family and myself that might help us finalise the transition from UK trad climber stylee to something more Australian? Do I still need to scowl at the notion of respect for tradition, drive around in a beat up kingswood full of empty stubbies and wear a threadbare white singlet (vest!) and wrap around sunnies?
Wendy
14/09/2011
9:47:59 PM
Congratulations! I'm a whole generation removed from England and it still doesn't stop me complaining. Remember to keep your beer in the fridge from now on though.
Karl Bromelow
14/09/2011
9:49:51 PM
What!? Even the Speckled Hen? Thanks, Wendy.

wallwombat
14/09/2011
10:10:42 PM
The singlet has to be faded navy blue otherwise you'll look like an ex-pom.

Miguel75
14/09/2011
10:51:58 PM
Congrats on the new citizenship Kaj.
martym
15/09/2011
7:03:48 AM
On 14/09/2011 Miguel75 wrote:
>Congrats on the new citizenship Kaj.

I'll be you've got the back-up passport in the sock drawer just in case though.
Karl Bromelow
15/09/2011
7:33:12 AM
On 15/09/2011 davidn wrote:
>Hah - I did a google search for 'aussie characteristics' and this was one
>of the answers:
>
>'they are usually tall,handsome and quite but angry and racist at the
>same time'

Why'd they let me in? I only match up with one of those characteristics and the way my boy flinches whenever I raise my hand is a clue to which.
Samuel
15/09/2011
8:46:31 AM
Pretend to like australian Beer. (Coopers Sparkling excluded of course).
Karl Bromelow
15/09/2011
9:04:10 AM
I've still only got the burgundy one. I can't afford the other one. I'll have to raise the dollars somehow though 'cos now I'm a citizen they won't let me go through Australian immigration on my UK passport. So until I can buy one I really am trapped here! When I do have both I'd better keep them in some place other than my sock drawer. Every time I put two socks in there they mysteriously become singular.
Karl Bromelow
15/09/2011
9:06:06 AM
On 15/09/2011 Samuel wrote:
>Pretend to like australian Beer. (Coopers Sparkling excluded of course).

I do like Australian beer. It's slightly less toxic than most other toilet cleaners.

MisterGribble
15/09/2011
9:27:49 AM
Sing 'God Save the Queen' at the citizenship ceremony, that'll stick it right up 'em
grangrump
15/09/2011
10:28:58 AM
On 14/09/2011 Kaj wrote:
>What advice would the kind people of Chockstone like to offer my family
>and myself that might help us finalise the transition from UK trad climber
>stylee to something more Australian?
Start installing carrot bolts.

Capt_mulch
15/09/2011
11:20:08 AM
> Do I still need to scowl at the notion
>of respect for tradition, drive around in a beat up kingswood full of empty
>stubbies and wear a threadbare white singlet (vest!) and wrap around sunnies?
Don't forget a handkerchief with knotted corners for your head - we all wear them here...

nooj
15/09/2011
11:28:49 AM
"they are usually tall,handsome and quite but angry and racist at the same time"

I'm short and ugly. If I turn up the racist dial, can I still qualify as an Australian man?
maxdacat
15/09/2011
11:51:48 AM
Well done.....I got my UK citizenship in 2005 and had to study such tough questions as:

Life in the UK explains what to do if you spill someone's pint in the pub. What, according to the book, usually happens next?

A: You would offer to buy the person another pint

B: You would offer to dry their wet shirt with your own

C: You may need to prepare for a fight in the car park

I didn't actually get that in the test, they were more along the lines of residual powers of the Scottish Parliament vs the Welsh Assembly so i hope you had to put some effort in.

ajfclark
15/09/2011
11:58:14 AM
I'm pretty sure his questions were more along the lines of:

Complete this popular phrase: You're going home in the back of a _____

jkane
15/09/2011
12:55:04 PM
At my citizenship ceremony, I was wondering about how strict the language requirement really was. Somone actually repeated back the phrase "I, state your name ..."

Tommo
15/09/2011
4:55:56 PM
You'll know you're true-blue when:
You believe that stubbies can be either drunk or worn.
You think it's normal to have a leader called Julia.
You've made a bong out of your garden hose rather than use it for something illegal such as watering the garden.
You're liable to burst out laughing whenever you hear of Americans "rooting" for something.
You understand that the phrase 'a group of women wearing black thongs' refers to footwear and may be less alluring than it sounds.
You pronounce Melbourne as 'Mel-bin' (Mel-bn).
You believe the 'l' in the word 'Australia' is optional.
You can translate: 'Dazza and Shazza played Acca Dacca on the way to Maccas.'
You believe it makes perfect sense for a nation to decorate its highways with large fibreglass bananas, prawns and sheep.
You call your best friend 'a total bastard' but someone you really, truly despise is just 'a bit of a bastard'.
You think 'Woolloomooloo' is a perfectly reasonable name for a place.
You're secretly proud of our killer wildlife.
You believe it makes sense for a country to have a $1 coin that's twice as big as its $2 coin.
You understand that 'Wagga Wagga' can be abbreviated to 'Wagga' but 'Woy Woy' can't be called 'Woy'.
You believe that cooked-down axle grease makes a good breakfast spread. You've also squeezed it through Vita Wheats to make little Vegemite worms.
You believe all famous Kiwis are actually Australian, until they stuff up, at which point they again become Kiwis.
Beetroot with your Hamburger... Of course.
You know that certain words must, by law, be shouted out during any rendition of the Angels' song 'Am I Ever Gonna See Your Face Again' and "Living next door to Alice".
You believe that the confectionery known as the Wagon Wheel has become smaller with every passing year.
You wear ugg boots outside the house.
You believe that every important discovery in the world was made by an Australian but then sold off to the Yanks for a pittance.
You believe that the more you shorten someone's name the more you like them.
Whatever your linguistic skills, you find yourself able to order takeaway fluently in every Asian language.
You understand that 'excuse me' can sound rude, While 'scuse me' is always polite.
You know what it's like to swallow a fly, on occasion via your nose.
You know it's not summer until the steering wheel is too hot to handle and a seat belt buckle becomes a pretty good branding iron.
Your biggest family argument over the summer concerned the rules for beach cricket.
You shake your head in horror when companies try to market what they call 'Anzac cookies'.
You still think of Kylie as 'that girl off Neighbours'.
When working in a bar, you understand male customers will feel the need to offer an excuse whenever they order low-alcohol beer.
You know how to abbreviate every word, all of which usually end in -o:arvo, combo, garbo, kero, lezzo, metho, milko, muso, rego, servo, smoko, speedo, righto, goodo etc.
You know that there is a universal place called "woop woop" located in the middle of nowhere...no matter where you actually are.
You know that none of us actually drink Fosters beer, because it tastes like piss. We let the world think we do, because we can.
You have some time in your life slept with Aeroguard on in the summer, maybe even as perfume.
You've only ever used the words - tops, ripper, sick, mad, rad, sweet- to mean good, and then you place 'bloody' in front of it when you really mean it.
You know that the barbecue is a political arena; the person holding the tongs is always the boss and usually a man. The women make the salad.
You say 'no worries' quite often, whether you realise it or not.
You understand what no wucking furries means.
You've drunk your tea/coffee/Milo through a Tim Tam.
You own a Bond's chesty, in several different colours.
You know that roo meat tastes pretty good, but not as good as barra, or a meat pie.
You know that some people pronounce Australia like "Straya" and that's OK.

and I'll add a couple:

- you yell 'safe!' instead of 'off belay!'
- you get a warm and fuzzy patriotic pride when you see a carrot bolt.
- you like to remind foreign climbers that Punks in the Gym was once the hardest climb in the world.
- you don't loose your s**t when a magpie is swooping you while run out on lead.
skegly
15/09/2011
5:53:51 PM
Fanks Tommo, wish chocky had a like button... congrats Karl

bel
20/09/2011
11:44:17 AM
last night i kid you not,, i dreamed of being at a party drinking coopers sparkling ale!!!!! im about 2.5 years from reality unless you can buy it in new york or morocco?? sad , very very sad but true blue all the same!!

 Page 1 of 2. Messages 1 to 20 | 21 to 33
There are 33 messages in this topic.

 

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